IBC

Kimberly, I think you should post a few sections above where you posted here, post in the "Connecting with Others with Same Diagnosis," or something like that, and below that boldface title, it's got the various kinds of cancer, with IBC a few subjects below the title of the section.  There are a bunch of people in there who have IBC. 

But while I got you, I had IBC and also two other cancers in the same breast, went thru some really endless and  trying treatments, chemo, surgery, rads.  I also went thru a huge emotional acceptance period, takes a while to adjust to having this disease, I was angry, I was depressed, cried and screamed.  The biggest thing that helped me to become a cancer patient was anything I couldn't bear to live with, I put it in a box and up on a shelf to go through SOME OTHER TIME, which for me I gave it to the Good Shepherd, and immediately any fears I couldn't handle went away.  Oh, and there was never anything quite so helpful than to get some flowers or a card once in a while, and you'd be surprised how even those closest to us will for some reason not bother, so you get to do that for her! 

Bless your little sister's heart.  Towards the beginning, she's going to want to go to a cancer wig store, if there's one in your town, and if not, a place that offers wigs AND hats and nightcaps, or some cancer clinics have some choices there.  That nightcap is an absolute must, her head will get cold if she loses her hair, and I wear my lavender one ALL the time.  So, she will need you to help her choose at least a couple soft nightcaps, and a couple hats or scarves to wear outside if she loses her hair, with the wig optional.  My mother and I went together, I needed her automatically for that.  

If your sister does not have a husband, she would love for you to help her when she has to go through some of her chemo treatments.  See, she will feel pretty lousy during parts of it, and might appreciate you helping her around the house, making some food for her, running a couple errands, possibly sleeping on the couch a couple nights here and there.  Also, I noticed some relatives would go to the chemo room, since it takes a couple hours to infuse every couple weeks, so if you could just sit with her a couple times out of the many of those, she will like that.  Also, there were times when I had to have a ride from the cancer clinic becuz of the drugs they put in some of my chemos.  Lastly, if at any point your sister loses it over how hard chemo is, encourage her to meet with her doc about how bad her side effects are, and he SHOULD give her some medicines for relief (tranquilizer, pain killers). 

But if she has a husband, well then, your home visits when she says it's okay to come by will be such a relief to her, she may want to confess her fears, and that's half the battle with cancer, the attitude, and FAMILY quickly becomes a cancer person's most important people, which you realize when you face dangerous illness that they really ARE the only ones who matter in your life.  Also, she may want to talk with you about how upset she will probably get over little things, and that may include temporary stuff with her husband (which all marriages are strained by this, but even this can be overcome).  If you visit when her husband is around, and you find out they've had some spats, quietly let him know your sister is just sick, she can't help being however you find her, be it moody, quiet, upset, whatever you notice, he's noticing it too, and will appreciate your kind words.  Your sister may be incapable of looking in on him right now.  She may even get irritated with you, so an "I love you" and giving her some extra space (or whatever the heck it is she wants) is all that's needed.

I know the sisters over in IBC will help you lots more than I could, it's helpful to get diff points of view from diff age brackets, and you'll find a couple people for sure who match up with you and will guide you thru this.  Yours truly, GG