January 2012 chemo
Comments
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#3 FEC today if my LFTS etc are ok :-( Haven't had any real feel good days this last cycle so the thought of this being cumulative is so depressing. PTSD is a certain I think. Why else do I feel like throwing up even thinking about the chemo centre - and as for the thread I popped into the other day where someone had posted giant photos of the red devil being pushed in her session, I couldn't get out of that thread fast enough...
Chemo doesn't finish until June for me and then there's rads. My BFF called yesterday and was trying to organise a long weekend away for our families and I worked out it can't be until at least September/October. I have nearly 3 weeks of annual leave owing at work and no possible way of planning a nice "break".
SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS
By the way, is anyone else following @xeni on twitter. She's really getting the reality of this out to the public.
Jenn -
riceandbeans - I had a fog from my first treatment. I figured out it was the anti-nausea med (Compazine) that I was taking. I switched to a different one for the next 3 tx's and no chemo fog! What is she taking for nausea? They carry their own SE's like headaches and dizziness.
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Hi Kelloggs:
"j" is taking compazine for nausea. Can that be the trick to lifting the fog? What are some alternatives for her to explore next time...I will advise her to cease the compazine asap!!!
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Riceandbeans. Thanks (: I like cucumbers in my water. Sounds strange but I had it at a spa and have been hooked ever since.
Nancy - Why no steroid? I thought you had to be premedicated for taxol?
Peggy - I was told with 12X taxol...no neulasta. There is another drug they use that works quicker because it is a weekly infusion. Have a nice day (:
I am stopping taxol and will start abraxane tomorrow. For anyone having trouble with taxol check out abraxane!!! It is very expensive but no need for pre meds or worry about allergic reaction! my insurance covered because I had a reaction to taxol. From what I have read I think its a shame that it is not first course of treatment. All comes down to $$$$$ very sad
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I agree about the the compazine Kellogs. I took it my first treatment and had to switch to Reglan and phenergan. The compazine put me right into a dizzy fog, could barely lift my head the first round.
Kite: Sending you a big giant bear hug and hoping things turnaround soon for you!!
I had treatment #4 yesterday. Thank freakin goodness the red devil will not be seen again. Had to have more IVF and IV anti-nausea meds today. MO is reducing my steroids again (yay!!). I absolutley HATE the steroids. Now all aboard the taxol/Herceptin train for me in 2 weeks. Hoping it treats me better than this A/C crap did. Hope everyone else is doing well with their SE's and good luck to those having treament this week.
{{{Hugs}}} to all!!!
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riceandbeans - Compazine sucked for me! I take Zofran now. There is also Ativan, Emend, Phenergan....a whole slew of anti-nausea meds. I take 1/2 a Zofran because it can cause headaces. I have not had a problem. The Compazine fog was the worst, I felt almost out of my body and hated it! Ask her MO...there are many alternatives! Good luck!
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riceandbeans - lemon in the water helps too.
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riceandbean - I find that the grape flavored water tastes pretty good. The only other thing I can tolerade when my mouth is like that is lemonade flavored Crystal Lite.
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Diane- Thanks for the tip about taxol and abraxane. I am actually really nervous about starting taxol. MO says reactions are rare but I read so many post in the Taxol thread about people having reactions. Makes me a little paranoid about starting.
riceandbean- I like the Crystal light too, as well as anything with lemon. Lemonade was good to me when my taste was off.
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momof2inme- I wouldn't worry. Between the premeds and the close monitoring, they are more than prepared for any reaction. I am sure you will do fine and after AC you will probably find it a breeze. I have had SE but have continued to work and function pretty well other than Saturdays. I think the worst part is the damn steroids....but I will miss all the work I got done every Friday....lol
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Hello everyone
Day 7 after AC#3 and I am finally able to open my laptop and have the energy to catch up on the posts. I cried and cried when I read about everyone's physical and emotional battles over the last week. I am experiencing those exact feelings and have not allowed myself to grieve properly. I found the last week so physically exhausting/painful that I felt I could do no more than just survive. But now as the fog is mildly lifting and I am reading the posts, I am experiencing all the same emotions as everyone else...anger, fear I will feel this way forever, fear of the 'new normal'.....nausea at the thought of the chemo room, the need to taste food again....definitely PTSD.
Thank you everyone for sharing your emotions , it helps me know that I am not alone. I do wish that none of you had to go through this as well. We are together in our healing
Hugs to all
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Hello everyone.... I'm in the March 2012 group, but I have a decision to make about my chemo treatment plan, and I'm looking for feedback.
My oncologist has presented me with two treatment options:AC-T, dose-dense 8 infusions over the course of 16 weeks vs. TC, 4 infusions every 3 weeks over the course of 12 weeks.After factoring age, grade, stage.... etc ect.... there is just a 1.4% difference between the two treatments. I need to decide whether that small added risk is worth the additional side-effects and weeks of chemo. I am leaning strongly toward TC x 4.Thoughts?(also... hope its ok, but I've posted this question elsewhere too... but since many of you here have already, and are currently experiencing the AC- T treatment... I thought you could give me some first-hand feedback)
Thank you ~ and wishing you wellness while we look forward to summer - to when this is behind us!!!
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rice and bean...i did plain water for a few days and finally gave in-i really like the tea with peach that crystal lite makes but i buy the walmart brand-so much cheaper- and i can't have regular sugar-also lemonade works...
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Grateful33,
Ditto!!! SE after treatment 3 have been by far the worst and longest for me, starting on day 2 after treatment, all the way until day 11 yesterday. Definitely cumulative, too, so I can only hope and pray that #4 will not top what came after #3. - The worst was literally feeling like "being eaten" on the inside - lungs, heart, kidneys, and feeling totally weak and "broken". ;-( Curious to see what my bloodwork is going to be like on Friday, and if I "can" go ahead with treatment as planned and have my last AC then.
Wishing everyone lots of strength to get through this!!! -
Session 3 today. Ended up with only FE instead of FEC because my liver labs were high. Then my port wouldn't work so finally ended up with a canula in my hand. Then that stopped so had to put in a second canula :-(
They've made me an appt for next Tuesday to go back to the centre where I got my port to have it checked and maybe replaced.
Regards Jenn -
Sleepless - "The worst was literally feeling like "being eaten" on the inside - lungs, heart, kidneys, and feeling totally weak and "broken" That says it all! That is exactly how I feel! Now I know why they give 4 txs of AC. No one would agree to do a fifth!
I'm 7 days post 4th tx. I stayed home from work yesterday - the first sick day I needed. I never miss work, but just couldn't put it together to go in. I was up all night Tuesday with diarrhea, which totally wiped me out. Not feeling much better today, but will try to put a full day in. I can't wait for the weekend to just rest.
I'm glad to be done the AC, but not looking forward to the taxol.
Chemo sucks!
Hang in there everyone!
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Shera - This is a tough decision! I can only speak about my experience with dd AC/Taxol. So far, AC has been doable but challenging. I have been able to work during tx. It can make you feel really sick for a few days. It is a drain on your body that is difficult to describe. However, it is also very effective. I'm hoping that it gives me the % points I need to live a long healthy life. I really can't report on TC though. It wasn't given as an option for me.
Good luck!
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Hi Shera. You ask really good questions, and while I can't give you your answer, I can share my story with you.
I noted from other posts that you've opted to forego the Oncotype test because you were going to do chemo regardless of the results (I hope I got that right). The Oncotype test can be valuable in determining what kind of treatment you choose, too.
When I was first diagnosed I had "good" BC - smallish (1.3 cm) tumor, no node involvement, clear margins on lumpectomy. My MO suggested 4x TC ("We'd like you to do 6 rounds, but will be happy if you'll finish 4") and that was my plan. In the meantime, they sent the tumor off for Oncotype testing. My score returned as a 42. Where before the test I had a very small recurrence rate based on being ER/PR+ and HER2-, small tumor, no node involvement, etc., I now had a 28% metastatic recurrence rate (the test also changed my PR status to negative, and my ER status to "barely positive" so I'm almost TN). Where before the doctor was telling me that chemo was my "choice," he was now telling me it was a must. Where before I could do 4 TC treatments, I was now facing 4x AC (dose dense, every two weeks) and 12x Taxol (but instead I'm doing 6x dose dense, every two weeks).
This is what I have to do to lower my risk of recurrence by less than half. After all of this, I am told I still have a metastatic recurrence rate of 18%. Radiation and Tamoxifen will lower my risk more, but it'll never be 0, which is really what I want. I have an aggressive form of "good" BC, apparently.
As Janet said, AC is doable - a little tough, but doable. I've been blessed with minimal SEs on AC - no nausea or vomiting, but I'm tired and dealing with constipation (we all pretty much lose our hair, too - but I haven't had to shave or wax for several weeks so there's an upside). It's four treatments, so about the time you get through the second one you say, "Oh, wow, I'm halfway done!: :-) (small victories seem really big right now). It's definitely tough - but any chemo is going to be tough.
I wish you love and peace in your decision - it's a tough one, to be certain. Ask for a second opinion, a third opinion, a fourth - until you feel you have the information you need to make a truly informed decision. Do what's best for you now, and in the long run. You will find so much support in the March forum, and that will help make whatever treatment you choose so much easier (I know being here is like a lifeline for me most days).
Good luck!
Nancy
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Oh Jenn - I'm so sorry your treatment sucked so badly!! You're such a trooper - I would have caved after the first time they tried my port and it failed. I feel like a frickin' pin cushion some days - poke me one more time and I'll simply start leaking all over the place! I'll send good thoughts and energy your way that they don't have to replace your port! *hug*
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Janet: I hope you get more rest today. I ended up taking yesterday off; my supervisor told me not to come back in until next Monday. I can't express how much respect I have for those of you who continue to work full time. I only work in the office two days a week, have one day of classes, and spend one day doing research/homework.
My bloodwork came back within normal ranges yesterday. My onco nurse told me there's a virus going around and that I should simply stay home for the next couple of days. My fever never broke 100, but I felt so awful I slept most of yesterday. I am praying that it's just a virus and not the cumulative effects; tx 4 will have me crawling across the finish line if this is what I'm in for.
I realized yesterday that I'm whining more than usual not just because I feel so awful, but because I can't work out anymore. The gym (and germs) scare the crap out of me, and it's been so cold here I can't go outside (and now, after a relatively snow-free winter, we're expecting like 7-9 inches tonight). Even yoga is a challenge at the end of the day. So I'm going to give myself permission to rest until after #4, then get back on that workout horse and get my butt in gear again.
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To everyone,
I have no strength to go individule,
My 3rd ac today, cried all morning, cant get my legs moving. need to get ready but so upset.
sorry to vent
I needed to talk to someone who understands. No one does.
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Oh Bela I'm sorry #3 is giving you such trouble. Let the tears out...we all need to do that. Get ready? for work? Do you have the option to stay home? If so, I would definitely do that and take care of yourself. Sending gentle hugs your way.
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No get ready for chemo #3. I am upset because DH wont hold me when I was crying and scared instead says take one xanax and stop this and be strong f*** him I am so angey.
Hate this life of cancer.
Thanks
Bela
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As if this crap isn't hard enough you have to deal with an insensitive DH. I'm so sorry....they have NO idea what we go through. All I can say is that I feel your pain and I know you can do this, as much as it sucks. Sending some love and hugs your way....good luck today.
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Bela: I'm so sorry I can't be there to hold you and hug you through this. Cancer is exhausting and unfair and plain shitty. While I am grateful I have a cancer that can be treated, I am tired of the treatment - it is a marathon I was not ready to run. Some days, I don't care about treatment - I just want the pain and SEs to stop. I hope you can share your frustration and anxiety with the nurses - they can be very supportive in a way that sometimes our partners cannot be.
You will be in my prayers and thoughts today.
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Nancy and Kelly,
Thanks so much. I am back home. light heache from decodron , hopefully it will go away. funny feeling in stomach too
but trying to forget that .
Thanks for this. You guys kinda did hold my hand
)
Hugs back
Bela
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Hey, all. I had AC treatment #3 yesterday, and also a visit and exam with my MO. Happy news - the turmor is shrinking! This is such a huge relief, especially as a triple negative where chemo is the only lifeline (at least as I understand it). So, I have some new energy to face yet another two weeks of probably feeling pretty crappy. Treatment 2 felt tough, and I'm thinking this will be worse with fatigue.
Just wanted to share my news.
Annie
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Annie,
I am glad its working.:) its tough to deal with cancer but when positive news comes it cherrs all of us too.
Good I am very happy for you.
Bela
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Bela I'm sorry you had a rough time today. Nancy is right, the chemo nurses can be a great support. I find when some of our loved ones want us to be strong that it may be because they are scared and can't "fix" things for us. Doesn't make it right or easier, but understandable.
I started crying today and my nurse, Eileen, gave me a hug and a kiss and much reassurance.
Don't be afraid to show emotion. This is tough stuff!
Ladies who are having a rough time prayers for the SEs to ease up and healing.
Hugs, Laura -
Thanks Laura,
I didn't cry there. I wish I had.I am ok now. scared of SE but can't do anything but now deal with them so..
Thanks
bela
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