Worry Never Seems To Go Away

Laurie:

Unfortunately, once we have a BC diagnose, any little thing that happens to us causes any doctor we are seeing to test just about everything they can.  I hate it too.  Just recently went through it myself.  Recently went to have my fibroids checked (do it yearly and always have, even prior to BC) and the pelvic MRI picked up a small tiny amount of fluid in my andexum (what ever the heck that is).  Of course, the gyno assured me, as did the rad, that this is nothing.  Fibroids were all unchanged (I just turned 65, but a young and other than BC, totally healthy).  Because of the BC - this then caused me to have an abd/pelvic CT.  Everything was fine with the small cyst of water.  But, that rad found a small spot on my T12 spine which was sclerotic (which means has healed itself).  My onc, my gyno and the rad again assured me that if I hadn't had BC three years ago, it would just be written off to age/wear and tear.  Then I had to have a freaking full body bone scan to rule out that tiny spot from being a met to the spine.  Countless blood tests later (all were totally normal as were tumor markers) and after the bone scan, my diagnose was no cancer, but I had wear and tear/age - degenerative change.  This has caused me out of pocket over $2,000 since Jan. 3.  While I am finally at ease that I am ok, I am broke, my anxiety levels for the last 6 weeks were off the chart, and I lived on ativan during all this time.  I dread ever having to go to another doctor again.  I hate BC with a passion.

Me too, being a little over a year and a half out.  My rib was/is killing me on my cancer side and I thought it might be costrochondritis and mentioned it to my onc in Dec. Next thing I knew, I was having a nuclear bone scan. Ugh. Got the all clear but this is my new normality. Sucks.

I feel twangs of everyone's anxiety and  pain.  Our dear sister Jo1955 came up with help for all of us!  She created the Bonfire of the Goddesses thread!  You all should come down and join us and throw each and every thing that is bothering you into the bonfire!  Afterwards, I promise you, you will feel better!

I can make a list of what's been thrown in already, but that might take all day!  Let's see...doctor appointment calendars have been thrown in, anxiety and pain have been thrown in multiple times....all those scan machines are burning....receptionists....oy...doctors who don't return calls...coworkers, family members, FORMER family members... people who tell us "Don't worry"....people who come to work sick and get us sick...they're REALLY burning......

Sooo...why not come on down to the Bonfire and join us....we have marshmallows toasting...and I promise...once you throw something in...you'll feel better...that fire is MAGICAL!

And Laurie...if you read the thread...I recently threw in my fungal ear infection, sinuses AND my vagina that REVOLTED from all the antibiotics and steriods that I was taking!!!! Like all the side effects from the meds I am taking for my breast cancer treatment wasn't enough.....  Hope you AND all of the sisters start feeling better soon!!!!!

For sure, THAT worry never seems to go away...because for one reason or another, we are all reminded....However, if I can vicariously throw some of the worry into a magical bonfire...and feel a little bit better...perhaps you all should try it and see if you feel, at least, a tiny bit better....

Thoughts and prayers too.. to everyone!

On another thread, a poster said just set aside 20 minutes a day to worry about it, then be done with it for the day.  I know-easier said than done.