UNITE - BC WOMEN OF THE WORKING WORLD

Good topic. I put in for intermittent FMLA but I'm hoping to not have to use it. I hope others post here about their experiences as I am just in the early stages of treatment.

I am extremely blessed to have a wonderful boss and awesome coworkers who have been very supportive so far.

fuzzy - thank Bill Clinton!  He did some crazy stuff while he was the President, but he is the FMLA man.

I was gainfully employed full-time in Transfusion Services in the hospital where I had my BMX when I was diagnosed.  I continued to work from dx to BMX which was about 5 weeks.  I had planned to be off until cleared to return which would have been about the start of chemo.  I knew I was having chemo before the BMX because of being Her2+.  I went out on FMLA when I had that first surgery, used my total accrued vacation days, then started using my short term disability, which was a benefit paid for by me.  Unfortunately, I needed complete axillary dissection 5 weeks after the BMX so could not go back to work.  Two weeks later my tissue expander ruptured through the left side, had emergency surgery.  Two weeks later needed skin excision surgery, followed two weeks later by another skin excision and the removal of the left expander.  Needless to say I could not go back to work.  I used all the short term disab and ran out of FMLA, and then switched over to long term disability, which was company paid.  I went into chemo after all those surgeries and could not work, but I had great support from the corporate HQ and they set up an Americans with Disabilities temp accomodation.  This only worked because I did not economically impact my workplace - i.e., they did not have to hire a replacement for me.  They happened to have a group waiting to start active testing at the Transfusion Services Dept. at the VA hospital, but there was a construction delay and they had nowhere for these folks to go - so they all did my job!  Anyway, I returned to work 30 days after chemo ended which was the agreed upon end of the accomodation, but was scheduled again three weeks later to put the left expander back in.  I realized that I was going to have too many doc appts. between weekly fills with the PS, twice weekly physical therapy for my newly acquired lymphedema, and still receiving Herceptin infusions, so I bailed.  I tendered my resignation with a re-hire clause if I chose to go back.  I am fortunate that my boss is also a friend, and my co-workers the absolute best.  I feel like I will probably not return - it is a stressful environment, often chaotic, with critical patients.  After being a patient myself for so long I don't think I want to work in a hospital anymore.  I have exchange surgery in less than 2 weeks, I finished Herceptin last month, so I am at loose ends about working - not sure if I will or not.

fuzzy - you are cracking me up - always!  And yes I often feel like it is the movie "Groundhog Day" in the operating room!  I knew it was problematic when the adjunct staff would cruise by and then stop, recognize me, and say "hey, I know you..."  You never want to be operated on so frequently that it becomes routine!

How about this one...I work in a hospital, 3rd shift, by myself, doing CT's. I had my bmx with te's on Dec 8th. Had anticipated being out 6 weeks but actually went back to work in 4, no restrictions. I did start back on 1st shift for 2 weeks then back to 3rd. I used the FMLA, short term disability and my earned time. Everyone was thrilled and surprised that I was back so soon. Funny how things change after a while.

I informed my supervisor that I would need another surgery for recon but I wasn't sure when. He asked if I had a ballpark date and I said in a few months. How was I to know exactly? There are no definites with bc.

I had an appointment with my PS Monday. It's a go for exchange and surgery is scheduled for Mar 15. I let my supervisor know yesterday and his reaction was, "that's a really bad time, can you change it? Someone is on vacation that week, do you think you could move your date by a few weeks? Is that the only date they gave you?" I was completely shocked, p'd off and hurt. I went home and cried. Honestly, am I asking too much? Do I really need to plan my treatment around my co-workers' schedules?

I think they all thought that since I came back to work everything is all fine and dandy. The cancer was removed and it's all over, no worries anymore. Someone suggested I put my foot....on his chest (I have somewhere different in mind) and ask him how that feels and whether he could live with it for a few more months.

It seems the compassion and concern are short lived. I'm not looking for sympathy from my co-workers but a little compassion would be ok. I know I'm not the center of the universe, but I am the center of my world right now. Some people just suck.

Oh yah, and I'm sick of being compared to another woman in my department that had implants put in for cosmetic reasons (she wanted bigger cleavage) How dare they think what I'm going through is the same. What hurts the most is that a co-worker that has been very supportive of me, even before bc, is the one that thinks the exchange is no big deal and actually easier than what the cleavage chick had done.

Some people are insensitive slugs!!

This is a great idea; wish I'd have thought of it.

I went through the whole testing phase of BC in March of 2010; missed a lot of days then. Between biopsies, scans, port placement and countless doc's appointments. Haven't had any surgeries as I was dx'd stage VI from the get go. Anyway I didn't and still haven't taken any significant time off from work. I don't work on treatment days, which I do on Friday's so I have the week end to feel miserable. My work isn't terribly physical and I really need my insurance so I suck it up most days and drag my tired butt out of bed and suffer with messy house.

When I was frist dx'd one of my co-workers wanted to donate sick time that he had accrued, area supervisor told that our company doesn't do that and didn't want to start it now. I was like WTH!! pretty angry about that then, over it now.

A little more compassion in the work place would be great, I too don't want the long sad face but this is not a cold and it is not going away.

Thanks Fuzz for bringing this topic up.

Peace and Love,

Edie

I've been Stage IV w/mets for 3 1/2 yrs now, still working full time. About two years ago, the company had us take one day off a week without pay while the economy was down. I took my usual treatment day off, but I never resumed working that day when they reinstated it. It's not really a day off for me; it's doctors' appointments day.  I usually have a full schedule on that day every week.

I'm tired of working just to pay the mortgage and associated bills. I want to retire so badly. I'm over the hill and I deserve it. I'm now looking into selling  my small place (I'll get little for it, but I have a small amount saved) and move into a small rental, just so I can relax and breath for the rest of my life.

Good idea, Fuzzy.  I work and I don't hear a lot of women mentioning working or if they do, it seems they are glad to get back to work, and I think what is wrong with me that I don't really want to be there.  I used to like my job a lot, but now I find the longer I'm back the less I want to be there.  I am feeling very detached.  I wonder if this will change. 

I have contemplated maybe I could be the person that totally changes their life after breast cancer but I'm too tired to formulate a plan!  Being the main breadwinner and the holder of the health insurance limits current options. 

Chrissilini, I'm sorry about your situation.  It's a good lesson for all that there's a lot of sympathy at the beginning but I do think co-workers think its all water under the bridge very shortly.  

TwoHobbies, I'm with you. I'd be really interested in changing careers, but our family needs the money I bring in and especially the health insurance. I'm also fortunate enough to have an actual pension plan, and cannot imagine ever walking away from it. Where I work, we call it "the golden handcuffs."

Kadia, "The golden handcuffs" , love it!  I wouldn't go so far as to call mine golden but have stagnated for similar reasons.  Good commute, decent pay and benefits, two years away from 4 weeks vacation.  Could be worse I keep telling myself.  But some days, many days that's no longer enough.  

Christina I could not focus when I was at that early stage at all.  When I got my surgery plan in place, then I could concentrate a little better.

Mammalou. That really steams me. You need support at work. Wish you were a member of our staff.

I'm working!  I started chemo in April, finished out the school year through the end of May (bald), had the summer off, and then took off the fall semester (BMX was at the end of August and then I did more chemo into November).  So, I took off a semester.  I had to get back, or it would have been a switch to long-term disability which is only 2/3 of my pay.  I couldn't afford that!  Thankfully, my job is not physically taxing like others, but I am so tired all the time.  Every week I feel like I just get done all I need to before it starts all over again.  So, I'm getting by.  I'm happy to spend some time as "me" again instead of just "cancer patient," but I wish my son's kindergarten was full day!  I need some more sleep!

Family Medical Leave Act   

My colleagues were awesome...even set up a website to sign up to bring my family a meal each day of my chemo treatments.    I was told by a good friend, "You SUCK at asking for help."  So, I heard that echo a lot during my treatment and after.  I've gotten much better at accepting help.  

Thank you. I thought the Family Medical Leave Act was taking time from work to take care of family, not taking time off to take care of oneself. What makes one eligible for that?

"Normal" is so boring!