I think my house keepers are stealing.
This feels nuts but I think my house cleaners are stealing my meds. I actually keep my serious meds, oxycodone, vicodin, valium etc. in my purse so they can't get a hold of them. What I keep coming across is someone in my dresser drawers when they never should be. A bottle of meds that seems to have fewer pills in it than before. Some of my mom's jewelry feeling displaced but I feel so unsure because I was in treatment when we moved here and had bad memory.
Yesterday, early in the morning, I had placed a document I got at the ER last week along with a small dog toy in the second drawer of my bedside table. I closed the drawer, it does not roll open on its own. When the3 cleaners were almost done I walked into the living room hall and there was the dog toy all wet from chewing and I could see my drawer with the papers sticking out. This drawer has a zipper case in the bottom that has some pill bottles in it.
I am upset at the prospect of calling someone out on this and don't really know how to protect myself and my property. Oh crud, I feel like I should know what to do but I don't. I am sort of afraid to call the service and then wind up with an angry possible thief at my door.
I hope someone has some idea what I am talking about. It just doesn't feel straight forward to me. I haven't had housekeepers in many many years and I would like to continue having some.
Thanks
GIngerbrew.
Comments
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get different ones. there are many honest people looking for work.
try setting them up.. leave a dollar here and there . so you know for sure. good luck
..and pills they can have that are laxatives.. those would be good to leave out in a bottle - heh
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Can you just call the office and just let this service go. Find another one that you can trust. So sorry.
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Love that apple!!
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Ginger!!!! You should have just asked me: http://www.netspyshop.com/
They have everything you need. Teddy bear cameras, pen cameras etc.... They are the best! I have this stuff all over my house. Just get a camera that looks like a clock and wait and see. Also, I like Apple's suggestion that you leave laxatives in like a "valium" bottle! More importantly, get a small fire-proof safe, put 50 or 60 lbs (however many plates you can get in the thing) and put cash, pills and jewelery in there whenever "questionable" characters are scheduled to be visiting. It is easier to access a small safe that, when weighed down with 60 lbs of plates you can buy right at Sports Authority (so it can't be carried easily), you can easily access.
They probably are stealing...sorry! I volunteered with the elderly for years and often times their "nursing staff" was robbing them blind. It takes all kinds.
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I put all my pain pills in my safe (bolted to the floor) so people won't be tempted. I don't even trust some friends when it comes to vicoden and xanax......before I had a safe I would hide them in between the towels folded in the closet or rolled up my a pair of socks in my drawer or in a coat pocket in the closet....they were even missed by a the person who broke in to rob the house :>
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Lizzy I think the safe is a very good idea. I don't think I have enough for me to think someone would come break in but I could be wrong. A safe with heavy stuff in it makes good sense to me. I had always wondered how one could keep someone from walking off with a safe. I never thought of putting heavy things in a safe, good idea.
So that takes care of petty theives in the future. For right now I feel really insecure about letting the crew go. The lead on the crew is a middle aged polish woman who I can't imagine going along with this. The youngest one is the one in my room and the one I feel very insecure about. Kind of an uncomfortable feeling around her.
I don't like this insecure feeling I get about all of this. I used to be bold, and sometimes too bold and I just don't feel that way any more. I feel vulnerable. I am really thrown by this.
Ginger
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Ginger - Can you make an excuse and let them go then find someone else? I would limit it to 1 person too, it's weird having more than one person come in your house I think. Just say it's the economy or 'my husband doesn't like people in the house anymore'. Then ask around for someone recommended by a friend or neighbor.
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It's pretty common for people to look for good drugs in other people's houses. Housekeepers, teens, even friends with unsuspected drug problems. I think the safe is a good idea. If you have pain or anxiety meds, they have a street value that might make them worth the risk of stealing.
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My neice put tylenol in my vicodin bottle, something told me to compare them that day, I don't know, but i thought the tylenol looked like my vicodan and I thought, how easy it would be to mix them, then I opened the vicodan and saw it actually was tylenol in it. Now, I use the vicodan very raerly, but that day I did, and just thought of the tylenol and so I compared them. I knew it had to be her, because she was the only on in the house since I used it last. SO SAD. She got mad at me aND CALLED ME A LIAR. bUT i KEPT INSISTING SHE RETURN THEM AND SHE FINALLY ADMITTED IT, RETURNED ABOUT HALF. I WAS PI**ED!
if a relative could do that, housekeepers most definetly could too. Either get proof by leaving something out, or just get new ones but set up a cam before they come in. Good luck.
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ginger let them go and get someone else. If you don't want to confont them about the stealing just say you're stopping for a while or can't afford it... but I'd be worried they'd get bolder if they thought you were afraid to say anything. I just wouldn't want someone I didn't trust in my home at all. Maybe ask neighbors for some recommendations?
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ginger, my mom had this same problem with a housekeeper when she was diagnosed at Stage IV. She thought at first she was imagining it because the women was so nice and frankly I thought my mom had just gotten confused about where she put some jewelry, nothing that expensive, but it was gone. My mother set up a "sting", wrapped some jewelry in a hankie and shoved it way to the back of the drawer, sure enough after the woman left, the hankie was there empty. She asked the agency for a new person and told them what the woman had done. Trust your instincts, if you don't feel right about one ask for just one person. You sound comfortable about the safe, I'd do that. Karen
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I can see I am not the only person who has had this sort of experience. We have had virtually no company out here because we don't know anyone. Our only out of town visitors have been missionaries and I have never for a moment felt any distrust with the two of my kids who have visited who have little kids. So the cleaners are the only ones I have ever felt any distrust with.
I had one cleaner back in Illinois twice and when I discovered she had for no reason unlocked my dining room windows I never had her back.
A staff member at a nursing home stole my mothers wedding ring two days before she died. I was too upset to deal with being a detective but I realized later my mom tried to let me know. She couldn't talk or move her arms anymore, but she could kick and she did when this aide came into the room. I didn't know her ring was gone yet so I didn't put two and two together. Later I discovered her nails had been filed on a diagonal and were just ruined. That is when I realized the ring was gone but I was more upset that her nails, which she had kept perfect my entire lifetime, were sawed off at this crazy angle. I have never cared too much about the loss mostly that her source of pride was destroyed and she knew it. Within hours she couldn't even kick anymore. The ring did have diamonds, ten of them, and I shouldn't have brought, it was asking for trouble but she really wanted it there.I just hate it that she knew it was stolen and couldn't stop it from happening.
Ginger
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I love apple's suggestion but the most practical thing to do is to just let them go. Tell them you have a relative or friend that has offered to do it for free. No hard feelings.
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Karen your mom was smart. I too have felt like I was just forgetful. I didn't mention that a gold necklace that was my mom's is missing. I keep hoping I will find it, maybe I put it somewhere. It is the kind that lays flat and it is probably her most expensive piece. I only wear a cross and fake pearl earrings so I am not one to even think about jewelry.
My friend is a missionary kid and her mom was nearly driven insane by a housekeeper who stole the silverware one piece at a time over a long period of time! Not silver but what they had.
Ginger
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I was stayin at a friends house with all kinds of pain meds.I dont take them but i carry them just in case.Her son took all but left 1 in each bottle.Of course i told my friend and then left.A drug addict or drug seller will sell their mother if they need it.we all know that.
change the housekeeper and change the locks too!!!!!!
Like we dont have enuf!!!!
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Ginger:
Chiming in to say "fire the cleaners NOW" - get someone recommended by friends or neighbours and a single cleaner is a much better idea than a crew.
I had a cleaning lady a few years back when I was working (so was not at home to keep an eye on things) and after she left my employ I found that several waterford water goblets were missing - you never know what someone will steal - I too keep my pills tucked away in the towels (the Christmas ones) - guess they're more valuable than jewels to some these days.
Hugs, Sandy
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Gingerbrew - It made me very nervous to have housecleaners come in to my house, but it was a large, reputable, bonded company we went with instead of others that friends had used. Most of the time we are home (we're retired) but we gave a key to the owner, and the girls use it when we have to be gone. There are either two or three girls that come each time.
I do have quite an impressive stash of meds
....and the first thing I did when the cleaners came for the first time was to hide them all very well. Same with the jewelry, although anything nice is in the big safe.I always worry that maybe someone will make a copy of our key, but then again, when we're gone, the alarm is always on.
apple - LOL at the laxatives!
lizzymack1 - LOVE the idea of the TeddyCam!! One word of caution, though....a 60 lb safe ain't nothin' for those in the business of stealing. The elderly couple down the block had their house broken into at Christmas time. The thieves took a FOUR HUNDRED POUND safe, dragged it through the house, out the door, and over a six-foot concrete fence. Trust me - if someone wants something bad enough, they'll find a way!!!
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Ginger, I wouldn't go with a reputable company as comfortably as I would go with someone recommended by a friend. Do you kow anybody who has had the same person for years?
We had meds stolen years before cancer and before we even fantasized about anyone other than us cleaning our house. I don't know who, the plumber? Friend with a substance problem? Now I keep the good stuff locked in a small safe. It won't deter the serious thieves, but it will deter grabby visitors.
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Ginger, you must be kicking yourself for not at least asking about the dog toy!! Your window of opportunity to confront them has passed as you have no proof. You don't need fake excuses to fire them. Just meet them at the door when they come again and say I'm sorry, I have to let you go. If they say why, tell them that you are missing things in your home and you have to do ANOTHER audit. Until that is resolved, you are not having anyone in your home. They probably won't even ask you why....they know!
I lost 2 diamond earrings in my dresser when we moved. The stupid moving guys turned my dresser upside down to get it up the stairs!! If it fit upside down, I'm pretty sure it would have fit RIGHT side up!!! Anyway my jewelry got dumped. I have nine drawers. I am not a neat nik...sigh. I did a once over, but never found them. They could have fallen in the carpet any place up the stairs and into the bedroom. I'm sure they were vacuumed up...sigh. Oh well, maybe I should hire a cleaning crew to find them! ehehehehhehehehe
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i actually am grateful for the reminder to be cautious. My kids are great, their friends seem to be great, but having 10 teenage boys in and out of the house regularly is cause to pause. I think I'll just get a locked medicine cabinet.,,,
like hydrocodone will really get them off.. but hay.. it's mine!
We already have a safe. I have no jewelry to speak of except the simple things I wear daily. my ring, my mom's ring (both simple bands) and my pearl studs.. that's it.
good luck Ginger
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I have Oxycontin, Oxycodone, Hydromorphone and some lesser stuff. I could pay my mortgage and utilities each month with the street value of my meds!!!!
I live in an "adult/lifestyle community" and I'm pretty sure we all have meds like mine!!
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I saw this thread and had to comment. I "lost" a full 30 pill bottle of Tramadol. Had a host of people in and out when I got home from surgery. It is hard to point fingers but I know I didn't take them or put them in the garbage! I was pissed. It was over the holidays and both my surgeon and GP's office's were closed! I had to go to the walk in clinic on Christmas Eve morning. Thank God they know me there and know that I'm not a pill seeker and didn't make me wait in line. I now have a bottle of Percocet that's been prescribed in anticipation of bone pain from the Neulasta shot but I have them well hidden and am not telling anyone I have them. There are people with pill addictions that you wouldn't dream of you know?
As for the cleaners, I love the laxitive idea LOL!! Perfect solution
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It's not just the people who want to take the pills themselves...it's the street value of them. 30 Tramadol would have been about $1,000. We can't get narcotics in walk-in clinics in Canada only from our own doctors. The walk-in are not allowed to prescribe them! (think gun point.....)!!
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Ginger, if you THINK they're stealing, they probably are. I had the same thing happen years ago. Not with pills, but with jewellry. It took me a long time to even notice because it was stuff I don't normally pay much attention to. My husband suggested that before I go accusing we set her up, so we semi-hid some money in a drawer and waited. Sure enough, $20 out of $140 was gone when she left. I don't like confrontation either, and there's no way you could catch them in the act, other than setting up cameras, but do tell the company manager. I totally understand how you don't want to blame the whole crew, but I have a feeling if you tell the company, whomever, is stealing will be noticed by the manager when the crew is spoken to. At least that's what happened in my case. The manager called me and told me when he talked to the girls, one turned completely red, so he knew. He said he would pay for any losses. As someone already mentioned, change your locks. Once they know what you have, they'll be back. I'm sure a copy of your key was made already and something tells me they'll try to get revenge if they know it's you that got them fired. Sucks, I know, but we have to face that the world can be a pretty shitty place sometimes. Do what you have to do to protect yourself and your stuff.
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So sad that we have to hide our meds or lock them away. I hide mine for all the reasons above .... the bad thing is sometimes I hide them so well that I can't find them. LOL!
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Yes, call and report this situation. Get another service. I did have a friend who had pain medication stolen and yes this is major problem. Sadly this is a very common crime -- worse still when patients who need these medications are taken advantage of.
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I think I am going to geta drawer safe that opens on the top and you bolt to the drawer bottom. Has anyone used something like this? It wouldn't stop a burglar but I would think it would stop a casual thief. I know scripture tells us not to tempt others to sin so I won't.
I was thinking about a 2 cubic foot safe so I could put my silver in there too but my son pointed out that I would not be likely to be crawling on the floor to get my medicine out. I am trying to think this through.
I am pretty sure I won't be reporting anyone because I do not want any repercussions. You cannot see another house from ours we are on five acres and it is wooded around all of the borders. It would be very easy for someone to break in here unnoticed. All the houses here are like that, isolated. Our road is even dirt and rock. I think I may need to have the alarm activated to be comfortable, I am thinking about it. Apparently thieves are going door to door offering various services just to see if people are home. One guy has arborist experience so he has a perfect cover. I never had thought of someone doing a thing like that to gain access. Another team of two women is doing somehting similar. I don't have a gun but I do have two dogs who bark wildly. I was loving the solitude back here and want to regain that, you know. I have been naieve just because it is so pretty.GInger
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Ginger - that is very reasonable. (My friend was an elderly person in a HUGE retirement development community --- houses on top of each other.) I totally understand where you are coming from. Do you have an attached garage --- some place where these individuals do not go where you install such a safe device? Somewhere not obvious to them if they already going through your drawers.
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I know my way of catching thiefs is this: simply put some potassium permanganate powder where the things that are disappearing are. The thief will, willy-nilly, get in contact with the powder. At the slightest contact with water (even their own sweat) their fingers and hands will turn red for days. It cannot be washed away or removed with anything for a few good days. This was used in old times and I think that is where the saying "caught red-handed" comes from.
It is a granulated powder that is used to many things, including to sanitize water, and you can buy it quite easily, here's a source:
You can buy lesser quantities, I just did a fast search. I had bought abut 50 g a few years ago and still have plenty.
And btw, another use is (in a very weak solution) a beautiful rinse that gives grey/white hair that silvery metallic look. I use it sometimes on my blonde hair - you just must make it a very weak solution, otherwise your hair will turn purple for a while.
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Ginger: the only problem with firing them is you don't know what the next crew will be like. In this economy, I am not convinced you are going to find comfort with anyone and depending on your house size, you probably won't find one person that will take on the job. I would just lock everything up. I mean seriously, if there is nothing for them to take, they can't take anything. You have no clue what "honor" there exists among these local maids anyway. I always prefer to be safe.
On the window unlocked incident, that happened to me but it was contractors when I lived on the beach. They left the downstairs bathroom window unlocked. Mind you, because of the noise of ocean and living alone, I *never* left any windows open or unlocked overnight. It kind of sucks, but that is the world in which we live.
About the safe, I did not mean get it because someone might break in but rather just use it whenever you have people over you don't know (b/c u never know) and if you are traveling. It always mystified me people would come home from vacation robbed when a good safe in the basement with 200 lbs of plates in it is not going anywhere!
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