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MissAnon86
MissAnon86 Member Posts: 15
edited June 2014 in DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)

First of all I want to say hello to anyone who reads this, if you have had any form of cancer my heart goes out to you and I really admire how brave people are.

I'm here because of my Mum, I came to this site a year ago when I was awaiting results etc. and had some lovely ladies reply with help and advice for me.

My Mum was diagnosed with dcis.  After 2 surgeries they decided she needed a mastectomy.  All went fine and we are now almost a year since she got the all clear.  She had a mammogram about 2 weeks ago so we are waiting on those results.

The reason I wanted to post up here was I'm sooo upset that she has continued smoking.  She briefly "cut down" when she was diagnosed to 3 a night.  But since getting the all clear she smokes as normal.  It makes me so upset.  She has a bad cough, and I'm not silly I know her giving up would help in her chances of not getting a recurrence.

 I've tried everything I have been upset in front of her, angry, blunt with the consequences, and nothing works she just gets angry with me.

 Maybe I'm being selfish??  Maybe I should let her continue to smoke and drink alcohol (She drinks about 3-4 glasses of wine 6 out of 7 days a week)

Thats her life and what SHE chooses to do and maybe it isnt my place to tell her not to and she should enjoy her life.

But I just think that I'm too young to lose my Mum at 25, and want her to do whatever possible to make sure she continues to be cancer free.  I never want to see her suffer!

 I'm concidering getting her some patches or inhalers for quitting (as she would never buy them herself.. she always says yes next month/next week)

I don't really know what I should do, I just really want some advice on smoking and bc, is it really important for her to quit or should I let her do what she wants and enjoy her life?

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this xx

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited February 2012

    Missanon- I can feel your hurt and frustration and i feel for you! I know how hard this is to watch your mom go through her treatments for breast cancer and then have to worry about weather the smoking and drinking will kill her first. I will share my story with you, i was diagnosed with lung cancer several years ago, and still did not give up smoking (dumb) I know, it was very hard for me, i tryed and to just couldnt do it. I could barely walk because my breathing was so bad. They do put addictive narcotics in ciggerettes so it makes it harder to quit. It wasnt until my daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago i decided i needed to quit to be able to help her, i knew i couldnt hop on a plane and be there for her and my grandchildren until i quit, i tryed chantix and it only made me crabby and had terrible bone pains, then i got the nicorette gum, i really didnt think it would work but it did, i havnt had a ciggerette since. I was diagnosed with breast cancer after my daughter was, and i dont think i would of been able to go through my treatments had i not quit when i did. I guess, when your not ready then it makes it harder to quit, you have to really want to. When she is ready she will quit and really wants to she will. Maybe you can buy her some gum and see if that will work, She shouldnt drink while trying to quit, it just makes you want to have a ciggerette. Will she go to any support groups? They also have a quit smoking thread here to that might help. Or you can get her to go workout with you, it may want make her want to start feeling and breathe better. I wish i could be of more help, i know how bad  smoking is for you. I hope your moms results come out good and wish her the best of luck. Sending good thoughts and prayers for your mom, and you. Please keep us posted

    Gentle hugs

    Debbie

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  • mrkffr11
    mrkffr11 Member Posts: 74
    edited February 2012

    MissAnon86, I am a mother of 3 and 47 years old.  I have been a smoker for more years than I can count and i a not proud of it at all.

    I was recently diagnosed with DCIS and at first I was able to stop smoking completely but it only lasted 3 days before the stress of waiting on additional test results overcame me.

    I am trying hard to quit and want to do so for my children as much for my own health.  What is proving hard for me is my husband and others that smoke so cigarettes are all around me and tomorrow always feels like it would be easier than today.

    There is a good book that if you can get her to read it might help.  It is called "the easy way to quit smoking" from Alan Carr.

    If she has not read it - suggest she try to.  Also suggest she does not have to quit while reading it and if she chooses not to she does not have to - but hopefully she might be inspired to become a non smoker.  I find the book v. inspiring but admittedly I've not been able to get all the way there myself.

    I'm trying exercise and not drinking which I agree makes you crave a cig even more.

    Gook luck! 

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