Start Tamoxifen-April/May 2011

Well it didn't happen.

I stopped eating drinking yesterday, last night like ordered.

Got to the hospital at 0915 with a surgery time of 11:30.  Vitals, changed into the gown, IV inserted and then I just waited for my surgeon to be done with the hysterectomy before me.  She only scheduled two surgeries today because she's 6 months pregnant and taking it easy.

I waited.

Waited.

Waited some more.

Turns out the hysterectomy ahead of me had complications, those pesky things that are so down played by most Docs.  Sitting here writing this, I am not sure the woman will survive, and if she does, I'm not sure how qualitative it will be.  There were serious, numerous complications (which likely involved the bladder and bowel).

At 5:30 I yanked the IV out of my arm, sick with caffeine withdrawal, sick of waiting, got dressed and told the nurse to have the surgeon reschedule.  They made noises about me not leaving until I was "released" by the surgeon.  But I blew right past that.....what?  Am I a HOSTAGE?  Because THAT'S WHAT IT FELT LIKE!!  I said, how can you just expect me to sit here hour after hour with no food or water, not even an ice cube, with a screaming headache that you won't treat because you can't reach my surgeon to get permission because she's in EMERGENCY surgery!  Airlines can't keep people like this...what makes you think you can?

My surgeon WAS STILL IN SURGERY AT 5:30PM!!  She'd not eaten or had a drink of anything in all that time....and she's 6 months pregnant!  No WAY I was going to let her operate on me after all that.  I heard all the surgeons they paged to the OR....can you imagine a quick two hour hysterectomy turning into an over 9 hour (at last check) ordeal?

No friggin way.

So I left.  Walked out.  Vamoosed.

Got some supper, some dessert, and now I'm lamenting my entire WASTED day...and the fact I have to do this all over again....and I will...but I also have to wonder....did my life long bad luck Feb streak just show true to form..or did it break?  If I woulda been first, perhaps that scapel slip woulda been on me......

Well the surgeon hasn't called.  Maybe she's mad.  Remember I'm being treated at a military facility, so there is not just doctor ego on the line, but military officer ego as well (we can operate 24 hours straight if need be!)....which also goes to the fact, I can't just switch surgeons because I want too Omaz.  The military doesn't work that way.

But honestly she doesn't seem prideful like that.  She's young but my PS says the OB is a marvelous surgeon, and I believe it.  My PS also told me the more a surgeon performs a certain surgery, the higher the chance eventually one of those "rare" events will occur.  Kinda like, the more you drive, the higher the chance you'll eventually be in an accident.

I think she was probably secretly happy.  She was on her feet for over 9 hours, no food or drink, and being 6-7 months pregnant.  I was exhausted and all I did was lay around and read all day!  I'm sure the anesthesiologists were happy they could go home too...Friday night and all that...

I trust her to do this.  But now I feel for the woman before me.  I can't call and ask if she survived because of HIPPA.  I'm sure she survived, but I wonder what it cost her...

Don't ever let anyone tell you a hysterectomy is easy and without risk!  Sure lots, maybe even most women, get through it with no problems at all...at least in the first 10 years or so...but it seems when something does go wrong, that small minority end up with bigger problems than anything the uterus could cause, short of death.

My cousin's wife is heading for a hysterectomy the first of March due to painful heavy periods.  I've encouraged her to ask about an Ooph, and if it will suffice in her situation.  Her own mom had  a hysterectomy 15 years ago and her bladder prolapsed out of her vagina!  But she's in so much pain she will risk that....but if an Ooph shuts down the uterus, and it goes "dormant" then why not?  Recovery is shorter.  She's diabetic so less invasive.

I watched the DaVinci and surgeon assisted lapro hysterectomy on youtube.  It's fairly violent imo.

Ok enough rambling...had some COFFEE this morning...can you tell?  lol

Wash you down?  lol...I just had to laugh at that Omaz.  That just sounds....wrong.

I bet you weren't the first person to say, uh, thanks but no thanks! 

It's so funny when I say no to ANYONE at a military hospital.  There is the second it takes for them to hear it and realize I just said it.  The shock on their faces, and then total pure bewilderment.  "What do you mean no?  How am I supposed to handle a no?  No one ever tells us no."

Then they get scared.

"Oh crap, I'm going to get in trouble.  There is no place for the word no in our system.  So that means I will have to take the blame."

Yesterday when I told the nurse I was thinking about leaving....she said, "Well that's understandable, but you can't leave until the surgeon releases you, and we can't get ahold of her while in surgery."

She was so sure that'd take care of the situation.

I just looked at her and said, "Watch me."

Her face went through all those emotions above, she left and sent in someone higher ranking (as if rank might sway me one way or another)....lol.

Nope.