Lying about having breast cancer

Unbelievable!!!!!!!!! Send the press an anonymous note. 

What does she hope to gain besides sympathy? Was she in danger of losing her job before this? I was let go from a contract position because of my diagnosis. There has been so much to work through and overcome this year besides breast cancer, it is unbelievable that someone would make this up!! 

It is common,many go into blogs,support groups on line and pretend to have breast cancer, even men that have some weird comments.

When I was dx, I attended a support group, this woman joined after her breast cancer, that according to her "her faith had cured her".

She would not explain what type,or anything about her cancer. She left the group after a year, she made more harm than good,we had some ladies that felt they were not religious enough.

Two years later I was told this woman was in a hospital and wanted to see the ladies from the support group because she was terminal, she got breast cancer for real and it unfortunately very advance when found. She wanted to apologize.

This people want attention, no matter what.

Could she possibly be in a clinical trial? Could she be on another type flow dose radiation? I hope she isn't lying about having BC.

I would be tempted to (privately) confront her...although what good would it do?

That would infuriate me to...I suppose that inside something indeed IS very wrong with her, not breast cancer, but something wrong at a deep, emotional level... and that is really sad.

Breast cancer (sadly) is not too uncommon these days. I would bet you anything she has coworkers and superiors who are suspicious of her, but just don't know how to deal with her.

Perhaps the most frightening is that you say this is a teacher...this doesn't sound like someone who should be around young people trying to learn.

I also am a teacher and I also work with someone that lies about having breast cancer.  She began her lies last year.  She is one of those people that is always out sick for something or other, but this one for me took the cake.  First off she came to me when she was "diagnosed".  I listened and was very supportive, as I, at the time were a nine year survivor.  

Then one day she didn't make it to work.  Another teammate of ours said she called her and told her that she was called by her doctor(not oncologist) and he needed her to come in for an emergency chemotherapy treatment!!!! I have never heard of such a thing!!! All my chemo treatments both in 2001 and now are scheduled way ahead of time.  I was dumbfounded.  Supposedly she had surgery to remove the "lump".  But was out only the one day!  When I had my lumpectomy in 2001 I was out for over a week with drains!  I was starting to question all her stories.  She stopped telling me things, I stopped supporting her.

This year when I was diagnosed and had to have BMX, you would have thought that this woman that was "going through cancer treatments" would be right there with me, right?  NOPE!!! She sees me, she turns and goes the opposite direction.  I thought that I would confront her, but then I thought, what's the point.  I have written her off as a pathetic human being.  I have watched her over 4 years use illness as a means to get parents to sympathize toward her as she degrades and yells at their children.  I have seen her weasle sympathy from administrators in order to stay off an action plan for being a horrible teacher.  It makes me sick!  

The people that are around me are good people, they have seen me going through the process including taking me to doc appts and even having my expanders filled.  They know I am not lying! I don't understand why people do this, I don't understand why more of my coworkers aren't asking her for more details about her own "illness".  Someone told me that she is now cancer free!!! Really, after only a year, no surgery, radiation, and one treatment of "emergency chemo"!!!???  

Sick, sick people out there!

I also am a teacher.  Funniest thing I ever heard was several years back when one of my co-workers (who is really an odd lady) went for an appointment with her gynecologist.  She came back to school the next day to tell us that her gyno had diagnosed her with a brain tumor.  Huh???? He can see straight through to her brain from her woo-hoo??  We still laugh about this years later!

She sounds like a sociopath.  That's really sad.

Before ruining this woman's reputation, remember there is radiation used as adjuvant thereapy---and there is radiation used as a palliative therapy for bone mets. My aunt has had this repeatedly whenever the bone mets moves to another location.

Also, anyone who has been to medical school will tell you certain brain tumors are easy to see in a very basic eye exam where the tumor presses on the nerve going from the brain to the eye. So it's not impossible that the person's gyn could have picked it up if he was looking for some non gyn explanation (e.g., pituitary tumor for irregular menses) for a problem the patient was having.

There is so much judging and mocking on BCO, I've been away for months. Let's look for the best in people and extend compassion.

Yes, it happens, as you all know.  I had a cousin (who lied all the time) who first said she had breast cancer, then changed her mind and said she had lung cancer, then changed her mind and said terminal brain cancer that was diagnosed by her dermatologist!  (She hadn't seen a neurologist, oncologist or neurosurgeon or had an MRI.)  We never really figured out what was happening (we didn't know what to believe), but she was terminal and died several months later.

Lucy88,

I agree that we should be compassionate and not judgmental but I am hoping that those who post about fakers have first hand knowledge of the fact that they're faking. Yes, they do suffer from a type of disease, even if it's not what they claim, but it's hard for us who really have the disease to watch them milk others for sympathy or whatever else they get out of it.

Caryn

Leaf,

That is so sad. Thank you for sharing that story. Sometimes people choose circuitous ways to tell the truth.

Several years ago a distant cousin developed breast cancer. Her real story became the script for my sister's imaginary battle with the disease. She was sophisticated in her ability to nuance the facts; with the immediate family she merely hinted at suspicious test results. The farther out from the nuclear family the more explicit the details of her imaginary surgery and treatment became. We thought it was strange that she had her hair cut, really shaved, until we "heard" rumors were circularing she was undergoing chemotherapy. She presented the image of the noble single mother fightIng a terrible disease alone. A mutual acquaintance said some ugly things to me about how unsupportive her family was being. When I confronted my sister she declared the story had just snowballed through no fault of hers. It was apparent her actions were the result of serious issues.



She was fighting a disease but it was not breast cancer. It was mental illness. She didn't take money from anyone. She was self employed so she didn't defraud an employer or an insurance company. She shared her "story" with discretion and asked people not to tell others. She bravely demurred if questioned about her health. Why did she do it? For attention, for sympathy? Because she felt unloved and alone? Did it start with an irrational fear that she might get breast cancer? I have no idea. I am quite sure she did not know. She had always been, as my dad called it, an embroiderer of the truth. If challenged about a falsehood, she would just tell a bigger one to cover up the deceit. But she worked, paid her bills, raised her children, went to church, and, fortunately, ultimately "recovered" from breast cancer.



Interestingly, since I was diagnosed with breast cancer (really), she has never mentioned that strange fantasy and has been genuinely supportive and sympathetic. Fortunately she has never offered me any advice based of her own experience with breast cancer! Her life has changed very much for the better and many of the voids that she filled with imaginary events are now filled with genuine happy things, like a loving husband and a darling grandchild.



I guess it is impossible to understand this mental aberration, even in someone as close as a sister.

Have also known someone who lied about this. Even to the point of saying she had a double mastectomy. I just want to punch her in the throat.

Yes Caryn. When I said "around here", I meant bco.