Schocked and decission of operation

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annemarievs
annemarievs Member Posts: 3
edited June 2014 in HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer

I cannot remember everything.  I went blank when I hear you have cancer and 2 choices

1. Biopsy shown it is cancer and Removal of the invected part including the tepel and doing test to see if the rest of the breast as well as the limph is clean.  What then if the limph etc is effected?

2. Mastectomy My breast are very big and ifthe invected one is removed I will be off balance and can suffer of back pain.  It wil be a very very big operation,  If i choose this one, i have to wait for approval for reconstruction

The doctor wants it to be done by Monday (operation) and if it is the second choice consultation with the plastic surgeon and starting to get approval,

I do have stents as well as a pacemaker

Whereto know?

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  • bluedasher
    bluedasher Member Posts: 1,203
    edited February 2012

    You posted this on the HER2 forum. You may get more responses by posting this on the Surgery forum of this website.

    There is no need to rush into this decision in a few days. When I saw the surgeon after my biopsy results, his first suggestion was to operate at the end of that week, but I had a business trip overseas to go on and also needed time to make the same decision that you are making now. He said that a week or two won't make a difference so we put off surgery for about a week more.

    I had a small lump and large breasts too. The surgeon told me that if I had a mastectomy that I could get a reduction on the other side. Insurance is required to cover it (at least in the US - are you located somewhere else?) along with the mastectomy.  Or I could get a double mastectomy.

    I decided to get the lumpectomy. For lumpectomy plus radiation, recurrence is about the same and there is no survival benefit to getting mastectomy.With a mastectomy, you won't need radiation unless they find that lymph nodes are affected or the lump is too close to the chest wall or some other special cases. Radiation was pretty easy. 

    I didn't want to deal with reconstruction or the disruption of the larger surgery even without reconstruction and I wanted to keep my breasts.

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  • christina0001
    christina0001 Member Posts: 1,491
    edited February 2012

    annemarievs - I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. The first few days after I was diagnosed were a nightmare. If possible, you may want to ask your onc if it is okay to delay at least another week, just to give you time to mentally process and do a little research.

    All I could do for the first 72 hours after I was diagnosed was cry, do a little research, and cry some more. I could not hardly eat, and the only sleep I got was thanks to a bottle of zinfendal.

    I won't try to advise you - many women here have chosen either option, and have been well-satisfied with their choice. It's very personal. As you are emotionally able, read some of the stories here and see what feels right to your heart.

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  • annemarievs
    annemarievs Member Posts: 3
    edited February 2012

    Hi it is Annemarie again. I am so sorry for all of you.  Can I be honest, I am really lost on the internet with all the choices, and I do not have a clue where to go or where to look. I thought this page is the correct one to find more out regarding breast cancer.  Crying is still a big part of all this and and to tell you the truth I also did not know that you are going to be registered with Oncology or something like that.  When I receive a sms that this is done, I realised what happened is the truth, not a dream. Crying was a big part of my time of waiting. I do not know if I did the right choice.  Beacause all this is not familiar to us, I did not realise I could ask for extention.  The Docter did explain it very good, but it feel if my brain cut out and cannot remember anyting.  I have decided on a half mastectomy and really hope it is the right choice..Is the operation sore? How long are you staying in hospital? I feel so ,,,,, rushed so decisionless and only doing to wrong choices.  Have a nice evening en God Bless!

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited February 2012

    annemarie, you are on the right website.  What bluedasher was suggesting is that you repost your question in a different "forum," to be assured of more views and responses.  If you click on Forum Index in the black headings directly above, you will see quite a few different areas of interest.  I'm not exactly sure what question(s) you are asking, but perhaps you could repost your concerns in the "Newly Diagnosed" forum.  I think you'll get more response there.

    Yes, getting a diagnosis of breast cancer is a huge shock and very surreal.  My best advice is to take one step and one decision at a time.  If you need a mastectomy, you can either have reconstruction immediately or at a later date.  It sounds like you are being rushed into surgery when you don't have enough information.  Where are you located?  Are you in the US?  Is there a reason your surgeon wants to do surgery on Monday?  It seems to me that you need to talk to a plastic surgeon to understand your options before you're asked to decide which surgery you want. 

    I'm glad you've found BCO, and I hope we can help you get some answers to your concerns.  (((Hugs)))  Deanna 

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  • scuttlers
    scuttlers Member Posts: 1,658
    edited February 2012

    I agree that you seem to need more information. Why does he want the surgery done on Monday? What is your type of BC? What is your ER, PR, Her status? Where are you (as in the US or elsewhere)? What is the expected treatment following surgery? Have you been offered to have a second opinion? Lots of questions.



    It is a real shock, it is hard to wrap your head around. You will find lots of support here. I, also, wouldn't try to advise you.

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  • annemarievs
    annemarievs Member Posts: 3
    edited February 2012

    Deanna, You know, i cannot remember at all why the doctor wants to operate on Monday.  He also mentioned if I chose option 2, He wants the reconstruction docter to see me on Monday also.  I know we did discuss it, but I can't remember. No I am staying in South Africa and I thought all is going as quick as this one.  Is there a way that we can ask the doctors on a nice way, just to leave us to take a deep breath or two and thing about it first?  It is not believing him, it is a big thing for all of us.  I am sure that he / they do not want to rush us and think how quicker it is, less stress will be experienced.  I am guessing a lot.

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  • bluedasher
    bluedasher Member Posts: 1,203
    edited February 2012

    You should not feel rushed into a decision. It won't make a difference to your health whether your surgery is done Monday or two weeks later (just don't delay it months and months).You shouldn't be overly worried about being polite. You could call the doctor's office and tell them that your aren't ready to decide on the type of surgery yet so you want to cancel the surgery appointment. You could ask for an appointment to discuss the surgery choices again. You might also consider meeting with the reconstruction doctor on Monday. That shouldn't be a commitment to have the total mastectomy and reconstruction. You could view it as a time to learn more about the choices available to you. 

    As I mentioned above, my surgeon's first suggestion was to operate almost right away too. Some women want that. I simply told him that I would prefer time to think about which surgery option would be best for me and asked whether there was any medical need to operate that soon. He said there wasn't.

    Do you have someone who can go with you to appointments? A husband, relative or good friend? It is a lot to absorb especially if you are feeling very emotional about it. It is very helpful to have someone else there who can ask good questions and help you remember afterwards. Did your surgeon give you any information to read to help you understand your diagnoses and your choices?

    No need to apologize about where you posted. I only pointed it out to help get you to a place where you might get more helpful responses.

    Understanding the discussion formus: There is a broad range to discuss about breast cancer and different concerns depending on the phase of your treatment (just diagnosed, surgery, chemo, radiation) and the type of breast cancer you have (your current post is in the area for HER2+ cancer - don't worry if you don't understand what that means yet). To help people gather who have common interest, these discussion boards are organized into forums on different topics. 

    The two areas that probably apply most to you right now would be the ones for those just diagnosed and surgery:

    Just Diagnosed:
    http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/5 

    There are some helpful posts "pinned" to the top of that forum that direct you to spots on the BreastCancer.org website where you can read about your pathology report and start getting oriented.

    Surgery forum:
    http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/91 

    This also has some posts that always stay at the top including one about preparing for surgery. Usually someone starts a thread for all the people having surgery that month. I don't see a February thread yet but someone will probably start one soon. Joining one of those threads can help you feel like you aren't going through this alone. It can be very supportive and helpful. If you feel up to it, you could read part the January or December threads to see how it was like for the people who have just been through surgery. 

    I'm sorry that you are going through this. I know it is confusing at the start.

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