January 2012 chemo

Good luck Waitress169. Wishing you a SE effect free week!! HUGS

Good luck Waitress.

I'm feeling better today.  Did some cooking and mopping in between resting.  I'm having trouble the last couple of days finding something to eat that sounds good to me.  I keep ending up with carbs and cheese. (rice or pasta).  Nothing else sounds palatable.  I have been trying to eat fruit and/or little tea biscuit cookies between meals to keep something in my stomach. Anyone else have cheese/carb cravings?  Looks like dinner tonight will be a cheese toast but I'm going to put a green salad with it to make it more healthy.

Peggy 

I just want to take my toys and leave the sandbox.  (This is what Nancy HB said way back in December.)  I start my first chemo in one hour and want to run away and hide.  As she stated back then, I thought I was ready and I'm really not!    

If I get one more phone call from a well wishing friend, I'm gonna scream.  I'm letting them go to voice mail.  I know they mean well but every time the phone rings, I jump a mile high.  So I guess my nerves are on edge!  (you suppose?)

A big thank you to all of you on the January group.  All of your posts have been helpful.  Although I think I know what to expect, I still don't feel ready.  But I can't even imagine how bad I'd be if I never had any of your posts to read and enlighten me. On the positive side, I feel very grateful that I had a mammogram, we found the cancer, the surgery is over with and I'm finally on the road to getting the chemo done.  Waiting one month to start felt like a nice hiatus but was also kinda difficult.  I just want all this to be over with.  

I do have a port that was placed dring my surgery on 12/27 so hopefully, all will go smoothly with that part of it.   Later,......  thanks again, all of you! 

Good luck FLDREAMER, I'm sure today won't be as bad as you imagine.  I'm hoping you have a good weekend with minimal SE's!

FLDREAMER-Just read your post. The anticipation is awful!! Good luck today!

FLDREAMER:  Thinking of you today as you embark on a new journey.  I just got home from my second AC treatment and, like Jennt28, am tucked in bed resting, updating my blog and trying to relax.  I will keep you in my thoughts today.

I understand the frustration of well-meaning phone calls, text messages and emails (then there's always the occassional friend who simply pops in for a two-hour visit).  This can be really exhausting for me.  I feel a responsibility to all of these wonderful, loving people who are being so kind and nice - my mother would be disappointed in me if I wasn't, like the little kid I sometimes still am.  I am learning to set good, healthy boundaries: not answering the phone, returning an email a day later, standing at the door and politely saying, Thanks but let's try another day.  Whatever they're feeling is their responsibility, not mine - I've got enough to be responsible for right now.

I find myself just more cranky than usual (gee, I wonder why?) and I don't like that.  This is just going to take some getting used to.

Here's hoping for SE-free days for everyone!!

Kitchenella - I thought it was just me. I've been eating grilled cheese sandwhiches every day!!

Thanks for all the support. I just posted a "Letter to Friends" under Dealing with Treatment that sort of sums up what I think a lot of us are feeling. (I should have gone to sleep after coming home early from work, but got inspired).

Joyce - I'd avoid doubling up on the Claritin - after all, the pills do other things to your body and you don't want to do any damage (remember, we're taking it for some odd, unexplained side effect that helps us, not the reason they produce it in the first place). Have you taken Tylenol or something else as well? I was told to take two Tylenol before the Neulasta, along with the Claritin.

Jane - Yes, we are in similar situations. I sat with my boss today as he tried to help by offering to do my interview for me (sorry, it's my show, I get to chat with the guests), or divvy up some of my other work. I'm sure I can figure something out. I'm sure your colleagues will understand. I'm just surprised how quickly I went from 'can-do' to 'oh, never mind.' And it goes back and forth - one minute I'm fine, and the next minute, my off switch gets flipped. And thanks for that post, though it seems so many of these advances still don't do much for those of us who are triple-negative. But anything that means that women don't need to go through what we're doing is fantastic.

Waitress - Hoping your tx went easy today.

Jenn - {{Hugs}}. Sorry to hear the Chemo Express Bus ran you over too. I hope you feel better. Keep resting - but try to get a walk in or something. As hard as it sounds, sometimes it does give your body the boost it needs. I mentioned how hard I was hit this time at my PT appt this morning, and the therapist said exercising the day of chemo and after helps metabolize it faster - getting it the heck out of your system.

Kitchenella - I just finished making a grilled egg and cheese sandwich! Yes, carbs, and anything yellow, white, orange or beige. Mac and cheese has been a favorite (bought the instant stuff for the first time in years), popcorn, cheese and crackers. I even bought a box of frozen potato blintzes just in case... Good luck in planning your menu for the next few days.

FLDreamer - Wait, there are toys somewhere in this sandbox??? I'm glad we're all here for you, and each other. Hang in there. But you just hit on the most important thing that so many of us keep forgetting through chemo - the cancer is gone (or on its way out). Think big picture, girl, and you'll make it through.

Nancy - Cranky... My word for the day too.

CharB22 - Sending you virtual immunity boosts. Hand sanitizer is your friend....

Dear ladies Thank you all for the support and hugs. My big girl panties didn't fall off. So far so good and as always hoping for the best. Tomorrow is shave the head day so when I go back to work I can sleep an extra half hour since I won't be a slave to the hair dryer.

Fldreamer    Please don't leave the sandbox.I don't have a pail.

I want to thank all the ladies whose posts I read and reread because they gave me hope and valuable infomation. When I read how you girls handle everything including work,children and home I felt I should just stop bit%hin and get on with it.

Nancy - I love your blog. I wish I had documented my journey - I've barely even written in my diary much since my diagnosis. You have some great insights and experiences to share.

 Well, the first chemo is over with and I survived.   My regimen is AC x 4 every two weeks.  Then Taxol once a week for 12 weeks.  I've mentally separated them into segments.  So to my thinking, I have one AC down and three to go.  That is less daunting to my brain!  lol

My port was wonderful.  She accessed it on the first stick and it only stung a teeny bit. Here's a summary of things for anyone who's interested.

1)  saline flush (very quick and easy)

2) salt water started (no problem)  

3) Emend for 20" minutes.  This should help the nausea.

4) Zofran and Dex (something)  Z is for nausea and the Dex is a steroid (30 minutes total)

5) The A (adriamyocin)  30 mintutes.   (This is the 'big' one that is pink.

6) Ctytoxin for 1 hour.

7)  a saline flush and over and done.

I felt fine throughout the procedure itself.  It took a total of 3 hours from entering to leaving.  One hint for anyone who has urinary incontinence or leakage (sorry if TMI).  I wear a pad for protection as well as a Depends.  I had to 'go' several times throughout that three hours.  When I went after the Adriamycin (pink one), I was already peeing pink.  Next time, I'll have some flushable baby wipes in a baggie in my jeans pocket so I can cleanse myself when I'm done.  A is the one that can cause skin reactions so I think that is a good precaution. Again, sorry if TMI.

Please, all of you, keep in mind that it's different for everyone.  I just thought I'd give you a time capsule of mine.  Our chairs were recliners and very comfortable.  I was so thankful for that.  The staff were wonderful as well.  If I have to do this, then I'm determined to try to see the positive as much as I can.  (Actually, I hate it all but wallowing in that frame of mind was dragging me down!)

 Now, at the 6 hour mark after treatment, I'm very sleepy.  I plan to take my meds and get to sleep.  I know the SE could be worse in the days ahead so I'm grateful for how I'm doing now.  

Again, thanks to all of you who've gone before and gave us ideas, hints, clues to what to expect.  Love and hugs to all of you! 

NancyHB  Thanks for sharing your blog.

.Waitress169   So happy you didn't lose those pants!

 FLDreamer  Hope you have a good night.

Rachelvk  I am going to go read your letter now - it has been a rough day. 

DREAMER and WAITRESS glad everything went well.

My stubble is finally letting loose from my head but slowly.  

I don't have a blog but on my Yahoo calenday I write a short little note to myself as to how my day went.  

Peaceful weekend wishes to all,

Peggy 

Jane - Thank you for the vacine link.  I am going to forward to my onc.

June - hugs to you. rest and feel better!

I had infusion #3 yesterday and went to try on wig I ordered.  brought my mom since I was not to sure about wig thing, but it actually does not look too bad.   My onc said my hair would definately go but my infusion nurse says maybe not with taxol.  I have had all sorts of  weird scalp sensations but so far no loss.  I got the short haircut weeks ago in anticipation. 

Was fine through all pre med and herceptin but cried through taxol....no idea why...just sad I guess

Is anyone experiences HUGH HIGHS from the steroids????  I was up at 6 yeasterday and mopped all my floors.  Today I am buzzing around like crazy again...red flushed face....kinda shakey.  The worst part will be the crash tomorrow.  Last Saturday I felt like I was hit by a truck!!!

Anyone else following this pattern.  maybe I am getting more steroid because of the taxol (and allergic reaction potential) then you ac or tch girls?

Judy - I seem to have meltdowns at least every other week.  Sometimes over nothing at all!  Most of the time I keep it together and my DH is the one who has to deal with it but I had a mini meltdown in front of my MO a couple weeks ago.  I always feel a little better after I get it out.  These drugs do some crazy things to our minds and bodies.  I say let it flow when you need to!