Experiencing Stage 1/Grade 1 = "Play Cancer"

That person is lucky they didn't get a slap upside of their head. It's not "play cancer" if you have to take Arimidex for 5 years. Geeesh!

One thing that BC has taught me is that there is no time in my life for idiots.  You tried to educate them and they still didn't get it.  Chances are they are not going to.  If someone said that to me I would walk away and not look back.

A lot of us have relatives like that.

I find helpful to think of them like dessert wine ... best appreciated in small quantities

Take care.

Play cancer! What fun! And I got to have my breasts cut off as a prize!

Idiots.

Leah

I like the rip off your shirt and show them the effects of your "play cancer". I'm sure they would be speechless and feel like total heels. Seriously, I would do that in a heartbeat if they kept being so insensitive. They would certainly learn very quickly that there's noting "play" about what we've been through. (As I get older I seem to be losing my social filter and have no patience for stupid!)

Corrine - I know what you mean!  People have no clue.  Bottom line is "there is no cure"!!! I have said that to people.....I was also stage 1 but that doesn't mean it wasn't hard!  I had a BMX and chemo!   I don't know why people are so clueless and hurtful!  Sorry you had to experience this.  Hugs!

I've been lurking in the forums after some initial posts around my biopsy and diagnosis about 3 weeks ago.  This post has really hit me hard, however (I have not had surgery yet but am Grade 1 at this point) and I decided to de-lurk for it.  With apologies, this is going to be a rather lengthy vent (or rant).

This post brought to mind something I've been discussing with my husband, sister, and best friend about how a disturbing number of people react when I let them know I have been diagnosed with breast cancer.  I can't tell you how many times I am first asked, "Did they catch it early?" and then received a complete dismissal once I've told them yes.  More times than not, I am also treated to a story of how they know someone else who "really" had breast cancer and how bad the chemo was, etc.  My best friend (who worked with me for several years at a law firm she is still at) told me over lunch this weekend that this was exactly the same reaction she received when telling two female attorneys at the firm about my diagnosis.  Bless her heart, she was furious at their reaction on my behalf. 

I don't want to take away ANYTHING from our sisters (and some brothers) who are battling with horrendous diagnoses and treatments.  As I lurk, I am struck by how they are such great sources of strength, wisdom, and inspiration.

Here's my own battle with that, however (coupled with sincere gratitude that I AM very lucky to have had my own BC found early). 

I am still scared...not so much about the current cancer because I know the statistics and know that this one isn't going to kill me.  But I am scared about need for surgery(ies) and the decisions I am making and what that means for my life.  I've made those decisions carefully, but also based on real fears of recurrence and new occurrences, and being very real about my anxiety levels for the future.  I'm already a statistical anomaly and I'm not willing to trust in those statistics, for this decision, again.

I still find myself on an emotional rollercoaster and sometimes even can't say the words, "I have breast cancer" out loud (I usually say, "I've been diagnosed with breast cancer."  For some reason, that seems to put just enough emotional distance between me and reality.) 

I have had to fight massive internal battles over whether to take the BS's "what I can get away with" (lumpectomy and radiation) or to give in to my very real anxiety over spending the next 20-30 years worrying every time I get the (now increased) mammograms and, I've been told, yearly MRIs. 

Another feeling of being considered "less" came from an insurance company who won't pay for BRCA testing since "only" my mother has had breast cancer (and colon, and now lung), while completely overlooking the fact that I have absolutely no idea of my paternal family history and no way of finding out (my folks divorced when I was 3 and I've never been in contact).  I know it is a business decision and was always a crap shoot since I can't prove I fall into some of the categories that they use to justify the expense of the testing, but this feeling dismissed issue becomes cumulative after a while (and, yes, we're appealing but I have no real hope that this will change anything).

I struggle mightily to balance my fear of the future with my gratitude that it was found early.  I guiltily self-talk through all the "it could have been so much worse scenarios" and then feel miserable when the anxiety and nausea hit (and the "feeling a little sorry for myself" when MY cancer doesn't warrant someone else's serious concern) because it certainly must mean I'm not grateful enough to not have "serious cancer".  That gets even worse when someone questions my decision to have a BMX when I could have something much less radical and I end up feeling like I HAVE to explain that decision. 

As many of you all have so elegantly stated, it's tempting to whip out the "scars" (my physical ones are still in the future but I'd love to whip out some of the emotional scars that making some life changing decisions have caused).  You've also given the appropriate short answer...people who insinuate or act as if our cancer is "play" or not serious don't really deserve our consideration.  I am also fortunate that none of these people play any key roles in my life and happiness so it's a tad easier to dismiss their insensitivities.

But I hope that, someday, some of them will realize that their ignorance and inappropriate responses made our already difficult journey a little harder....and that they will learn from that.

I recently heard a quote (attributed to several sources for several different situations) that I love and think fits our shared situation perfectly, regardless of the numbers next to our diagnoses.  "If you have been there, no explanation is necessary.  If you NOT been there, no explanation is possible."

Thanks for hearing me out.  Back to lurking (but with love, gratitude, and hugs for you who share so freely).

Namaste and Light to all.  Elisabeth

Great quote Ysa.  I'll get in line right behind you Miz Marie. Some gift.

Wow-who said that to you?  If it was part of your medical team I think you should bring it to their superior. 

My personal opinion on this is that the whole pinktober campaign has served to kind of 'glamourize' breast cancer -like its one big pink sorority.  I think this serves to desensitize people from the seriousness of the disease. 

beacon - thanks!  I like your terrorist analogy.  It is sad to me that we are subjected to other people's agendas or character flaws when we are battling to keep our own heads on straight!

Just thought of a good comeback:  Yeah, it's a little like a play heart attack.

[EDITED TO ADD:  I am sorry...I didn't realize I was in the Stage I and II forum.  Please excuse my instrusion...if it is offensive, I will willingly delete the post...but I just felt so strongly about it...]

I would like to jump in here, having been dx'd with stage 0.  I am, of course, very grateful that we found this at the moment it started.  I am, of course, utterly grateful that I don't have to have chemo or rads and that I feel comfortable opting out of tamoxifen.  But here, with no invasion, couldn't get any earlier, I don't feel like I have been play-acting.  My left breast is gone. G-O-N-E.  I am still feeling the effects of the surgery itself, getting tired at times when I might not have before...and this is nearly 4 months out from surgery.   I feel like my entire life has changed.  I see everything differently.  AND, most importantly, I am the one that gets to decide how I feel about it.  Not anyone else.  AND I don't feel like I have been play acting.  This has been real, dramatic and I feel and have felt dramatic change.  Anyone that would belittle my cancer because it wasn't invasive is belittling me and all that I have felt and all that I have defined as important.  I would be incredibly insulted by the "Play Cancer" remark.  Utterly insulted.  And the part of me that is so self-critical would feel horrible, like I'd done something wrong.  What kind of person would want to make you feel THAT???

Corinne...I am so sorry your relatives were so insulting.  I hope that you find the strength to put off the comment like water off a duck's back.  Sometimes easier said than done.  But as so many have said here...who has the time for idiots now???

Play Cancer? Are you kidding? It never ceases to amaze me the things people will say. I am so sorry to hear this. There is nothing playful about this at any stage. Stage 0 is still a "stage", and is still scary. Of course you are grateful, of course you feel lucky (me, too, hence the name Lucky48).

I'd really like to kick this person in the N*ts. Nuthin' like a bunch of sistahs to back you up!