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Started crying for no reason while at my puter a couple of days ago, not sure what happened but I had been reading the boards because of the tamoxifen.  (convinced, taking it)  I did not cry at dx, not during surgery, not during chemo, not during rad.  In fact spent my time making little jokes during all that.  Spent my time avoiding my friends and getting new one that had what I had  bc.  Since dx I have focused on nothing but bc and I hate that just couldnt get out of the box.  Maybe, maybe this is the first step out of the box.  I want to thank everyone, the info is great and I can make decisions based on what real people , not on stats.  Started taking more meds for depression hopefully that will ease up. 

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  • jennifer1
    jennifer1 Member Posts: 185
    edited January 2012

    Let me add I may be stage 3a depends on which dr you ask.  I have always been scare to say that and my tumor was bigger than that (6) but not all cancer, some part of it was cyst material.  Sorry bearing my soul tonight.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited January 2012

    Welcome to the stages of grief. You have lost your innocence that led you to believe you would live forever. It's tough to face the bullet that may kill you. It's normal to cry, and you're about right on schedule. You'll go through anger, denial and other stages. Good luck sweetie!

  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited January 2012

    Jennifer- I was the same way, laughed through my dx and made jokes just to put other people at ease then after it was all over, i cryed and was depressed, you just do what you have to do to get through your tx, then bam it hits you!! It will get better! I too have been told 2 different stages, one said stage 3A the other 2b, im going with the latter!

    Hang in there, warm hugs!

  • jennifer1
    jennifer1 Member Posts: 185
    edited January 2012

    Innocence lost- I will stay with 2b also because it was just one doctor that called that and she and I had different ways to go almost everything so I did change drs. thank you Barb, you made me feel better after I looked closer.

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