anyone starting chemo in Nov 2005

Debbie, I sure hope Daniel is feeling better real soon. As a mom of 3 little ones, I understand completely. I am so glad to hear that you have a wonderful support system that can help you out with times like this. Give Daniel some hugs and kisses.

Kim

Debbie - Glad baby is OK. Yeah!!

Lat56 - Sorry to hear you're having a hard time with the side effects. It's hard to get through those last side effects. When I finished chemo I did not feel completely done until the painful side effects went away. Hang in there, this is probably the last time you will experience these side effects. Hope you feel better soon.

Hi ladies,
Mary Lou-thanks for being just so darned sweet. I love when you respond to any of my posts. I'll be sending prayers your way for NO pain. Also, no big deal about the exchange-send it when you feel up to it!

In fact, I love you all! I am such a dope, I get a little rush of glee when I see that one of you posted under another thread I read. I think to myself, "that's one of MY chemo-sisters!" Is that lame?

I have a nagging cough, I think I caught it from Daniel again. So far, it isn't out of control.
PS-He is doing MUCH better today. Thanks to all of you for thinking of him!
Time for Ambien and bed! Love and prayers, Debbie

Just got back from having a FU mammogram and the tech saw a spot on the same breast where I had the lumpectomy. They repeated the view and did not see the spot again but just to make sure she ordered an ultrasound. More testing!!! I had a feeling this would happen as soon as I switched healthcare provider but I understand that they don’t know me and have to be certain bc did not return. Boy...when she told me they had to repeat the view because there was a spot, I was so stressed I just about fainted and my mind started racing...How can that be? I just finished chemo on 3/3 and my surgery was in Oct '05 with clean margins. Could cancer come back so soon??? She tried to reassure me and told me the second view did not show the spot but because of the BC dx they have to be sure. I will pray that all is well. There is never a dull moment after bc dx. Is there? I’m scheduled to have the RADS simulation done next Friday. I hope this latest development does not delay it. I am ready to be done with it all!!!

Debbie, I do the same thing. I just love my sisters.

I just started to feel better today. I had a bug of some sort. I have the exchange ready for Michael to take in the morning.

The hard part was being able to sit up and write in the journal. That was a very important part for me, so that is why I had it so long.

Hope you all enjoy my writing. About as bad as it gets.

Anna - wish you were on the list, it was so nice to receive the box. And I just wanted to send it to you so bad. I kept thinking , this would really lift your spirits. I have been thinking of you.

Odayls - I pray that all is well with you. My heart started beating fast when I read your post. I have to go through the test soon, so I know what you mean by it never ends.

Love to all

Kay, Kim, and Lat hope all is well with you too.

Odayls,
Our worst fears are that we go for follow up and they see something. I feel a little nauseous reading your post and my thoughts are with you. Please keep us posted. As far as the 2 ladies at the appointment I'm really not that surprised. 1 in 7 women will have BC in thier lifetime. I tell people to quick think of 7 women and then think 1 may have BC in their lifetime. Everyone knows 7 women.
When do you find out the US results? Keep us posted.

Chiahead, you're right about our worst fears. We go through so many tests and hear so much bad news that our nerves are shot. No wonder we fear the worst.

What also got me so unnerved is that they told me they were booked yesterday and could not do my US so I would have to call scheduling for the next available appointment. I find out today their next available appointment is not until 4/13! Do they even realize the agony we go through while waiting????

Laproscopic, along with removal of my gall-stoned gall bladder. I have had stones for a few years, just had a flare up in Jan. So just getting it out at the same time as the ovaries.

That SUCKS about your u/s. Do you have any more facilities? It seems ridiculous that you will have to wait almost a month, good grief. We have 5 big diagnostic centers here and we are a small town community. I would be on the horn getting that u/s scheduled asap. It is really a short procedure, seems like they could be a little more accomodating. I am breast cancer patient, hear me roar!

Really good luck and hope it is much ado about nothing.

Chin up,

Margerie

Margerie - Glad to hear you're having Ooph and gall bladder removed Laparascopically, so much easier to recover from. I'm so sorry you have to go through so much. Boy, this journey is really not for the week.

I've been "roaring" all day. I called my surgeons office and they could not believe the new facility would even talk about a "spot" without comparing this mammo to my previous ones. I'm in the process of getting a doctors order from the Rad Onc faxed over to the facility were I've been receiving care. They can see me as early as Monday. It's a shame they are an hour away and both traffic and parking are terrible towards that part of town if not I would just have RADS there. Perhaps all this is happening so I can rethink my decision to go elsewhere?

Thanks for understanding my pain. Take care.

Odalys: My heart and prayers are with you. I can't stand how you have to go through the waiting yet again. I totally agree with Margerie about feeling like the victim of a violent crime and having to return to the scene regularly. I long for the day when all of us forget to think about what we are going through right now, when we get back to living without the constant dread. It's weird, I can take a lot on my own shoulders these days, but when I see someone else buckling a little bit under the strain it really breaks me down. The tears are pouring as I write this.

There can be up to three chemo patients to a room at my oncologist's office, and the other day I was in a room with a big, burly-looking man who pretty much slept through his chemo treatment. When it came time to flush his port and do all that he asked the nurse to bring the trashcan over, because he always vomits when they do the Heparin (something about the smell). Man, that just broke me down. The faucets were turned on! Knowing that such a big, strong-looking man could be turned to mush by a part of this made me so emotional. The same thing happened when I saw a pregnant woman in the waiting room. Then I realized she was there for a follow-up visit. She's been through the chemo and is now pregnant. I'm glad she didn't realize what seeing her did to me.

All I have to do is imagine my daughter one day sitting in that chemo-lazyboy recliner and the tears flow. Too bad our president and congress have nixed cancer research funding. I kept hoping our children would not have to go through any of this.

Enough of that.

Margerie, good luck on your surgery. Why do we call it Ooph?

And what's the FU you are talking about, Odalys? I know u/s is ultrasound, but I don't know the other.

Mary Lou, you are so sweet to think of me. Don't you hate being the amazing case that gets presented at a conference? Wouldn't you rather be a plain, easy-to-determine case? I hated the fact that every time my doctor gave me possible outcomes (surgical biopsy, MRI biopsy, sentinel node biopsy, etc.), I always ended up with the worst-case scenario. But you know what, I have made it through this far, and I never even knew there was so much to get through. Something made your doctor decide on a surgical biopsy, and that's what you have to hold on to. That positive pointer was there for you and saved you. I pray it will always be there for you.

I wish all my sisters a good weekend.

Anna

Hi ladies! Thanks a million for helping me get through the last two days. I am glad I could just type away all my fears instead of venting them to my poor DH or my sweet younger sister. They usually end up feeling so helpless and I really don't want to add to their worries. Plus, I know only my chemo-sisters can really relate. I told DH because I could not keep a secret from him. He is confident results will turn out fine and does not have much faith in the tech and doctor who read the mammo. He thinks I should have all my testing done at the current facility and then transfer it to the rads facility. I'm going to do just that. I'll keep you posted on the results. I am going to stay positive and believe as Margerie said this has been "much ado about nothing".



Anna - Every time I read one of your posts I can feel the love. God has blessed you with a big heart. Please take care of yourself. I pray that God will shield you from all the hatred and violence in this world and will replace those painful images of your daughter "sitting in that chemo-lazyboy recliner" with her being happy and healthy and full of life! I wish and pray that our children never have to experience this painful and ugly journey.

On a lighter note, FU stands for "follow up" and Ooph is short for removal of the ovaries (Oophorectomy).



Mary Lou - OMG 12 cm…glad they finally caught it! I'm also shocked about your X. Good thing you’re no longer with him. I don't have much respect for men who hit women. As far as I'm concerned, they are just cowards! I'm happy to see the B6 is helping you too.



Well, it has taken me over an hour to type this post due to so many interruptions. I better go now. Love you all. Talk with you later. Hugs......

Girls, wanted to just pop in to say hi. I had a great week end so far. Went with Michael to look at new trucks.

After I got over the sticker shock, it was fun. I drove a 1500 Dodge Ram. Was so high , I could hardly get my arse up into it. ( Running boards are extra ) LOL
Had really big tires on it. 20 inch! I bet the price of them are off the map.....

(I always say, it's cheaper than the children. LOL)

We're looking at the mega cab. Michael's parents will be able to ride when we go on trips. Plus our adult children. And still be able to haul in it.

Michael does get a discount b/c of his job, so that will help. We are thinking of getting it for Michael's anniversary gift in July. Said he would like to have it around the week of the 4th. ( He gave me a car for Christmas 2004.)

We will be married 6 years on the 5th. He is taking that week off anyway, so may as well get it then. I think we will get the inferno red. It is a dark red that looks like candy red. Just beautiful. But the payments won't be.

We have no choice, his truck has almost had it, if it makes it till July we will be grateful. Just had it fixed, my son did it free for us. Wouldn't take a dime. But would have cost about $850.00 - $1000.00.

And I wanted girls when I was expecting. God knew what was in store, and I feel blessed everyday.

My car is almost paid for so it is time for him. We take turns. I get a new one , he gets a new one etc. Till we retire I guess.

After the truck shopping, we went to Lowe's to price a privacy fence for our back yard. Then Sally's beauty supply to get some pins for my wig and a stand to hold it. Took 6 months to go.

I would always get Michael to help me. But now that I feel better I'm running more on my own. I didn't go much at all while I was still having treatments.

(My pain meds made me feel unsafe to drive. I was kinda in a zone. )

After Sally's, we saw Larry the cable guy, health inspector. I laughed till I thought I would pee my pants.

Larry is built so much like Michael, so the bath room scene was just priceless. It really took my mind off of me .

We had been out for about 8 hours, and when I got home the Neuropathy was in full blown pain. I hurt so bad I cried like a baby. I forgot to take my meds with me. Never again. I did that once before, so I'm fixing me a drug store in my purse.

On the subject of hair. It is almost warm weather, I have a convertible sebring and love to put my top down. But I guess I better not this year , I may have to pull over to pick my hair up off of the side of the road. LOL

Yesterday I got out to take a picture of this very large tree that had been carved into an Indian woman. It was windy and I had to walk a ways down the street.

I felt my wig start to blow, and thought I would lose it right then and there. I was laughing so hard when I got back into the car, told Michael what I was thinking , and he said he was thinking the same thing. We both cracked up.

Well, I really need to clean the fish tank so I'll close for now.

Remember "Let Jesus take the wheel" and the ride will be a lot smoother.

Love , ((((HUGS)))) and prayers to you all.

ML

Hi ladies, I am only online because I was trying to research what was up with my out of control bowels. UGH. I wish I could feel good again. My body is achey from the taxol and I am fatigued. On top of that, I can't seem to keep anything in my system, if ya know what I mean.

It sounds like we are all having some tough emotional times about now. Is that accurate, or am I just hoping everyone else is in the same boat as me? Anyway, I am trying to think of another thing we could do like the Pink Ribbon Exchange to cheer us all up! Any thoughts? Oooh, like maybe a photo album sent around to each of us? I have been taking pictures of this journey since my SNB on Halloween. Have all of you? That might be cool to see everyone's experiences in pictures....Then I found a book at the Bible outlet store a few weeks ago called "Stepping into the Ring." I was thinking of doing some sort of "contest," and sending that to the "winner" (but of course, everyone else would get a prize, too! That is just how I am.....).
Anyway, I could use some smiles. I have not bounced back from this treatment yet, I'm nervous about surgery coming up, I have all these goodies that people are giving us, and while I am normally a giant pig, I haven't wanted any of it!!!!!!

I'm eagerly awaiting an update from you, Odalys. We've been praying for you. Heck, we pray for everyone on this site.....
Love and prayers, Debbie

I posted to your thread on the main board. Sorry you feel so bad. That is how I felt at the end of the Taxol. I felt so bad, that , if I didn't know better I would have thought I had another treatment.

I still could not go to the store and buy food, I couldn't look at it. I picked up what I had to have, and got out.

Sweetheart, I hope you don't get the Neuropathy in your hands and feet. It is still in mine and it has almost been 3 weeks.

You were talking about a album, I had the thought of a web site for us. I would set it up if you want. Then all of us could have the password to open it up and add as we want to.

It is free for a few pages. And you can add to those pages. Also we can have a guest book, and share our stories with others.

At no cost! Email me and let me know what you think..

ww100lbs2go@yahoo.com

Love to all my sisters