Starting chemo Sept 05

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  • hopeful1
    hopeful1 Member Posts: 54
    edited March 2006
    Leanne -

    I too am speechless. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. My children light a candle for me every week at church. This will now be for you. May you find the strength you need to fight this. From reading your posts over the past months - I know you will.

    May you also find the support and wisdom you need from other mets sisters on this site.

    I wish there were more I could do or say at this point. Just know that we are all praying for you.
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  • txred9876
    txred9876 Member Posts: 392
    edited March 2006
    leanne,

    It is very often that I think of all of us and pray that each one of us has a wonderful outcome from the horrible ordeal. You are very much in my thoughts and prayers..Stay strong and let us know how things are going.

    Tina

    I have been a bit absent from the list as I have been going to the office a few hours a few days a week as well as making some calls from home. I have to keep my mind busy. Also I had belly button hernia fixed on the 9th. I am sure the first time I ended up in the hospital was due to this because as soon as I started chemo up again it got infected again. I found out for sure today I will lose my medicaid, but if I move into the adjacent county (where my boyfriends house is) then I can apply for another Medical Assistance program (MAP). So it looks like I will be making a move shortly since my medical ends at the end of the month.

    sorry for the long post...and as always. Everyone is in my thoughts and prayers.
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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited March 2006
    Leanne, my tears are flowing thick and fast here in Tamworth, UK and I don’t usually swear but my language is foul as I am typing this. Life can be just such a bixxx. Leanne I am sending healing thoughts – keep that fighting spirit and punch and kick with everything you have.

    I don’t really feel like typing too much now with Leanne’s news, however, Peg, I am still doing relaxation – not too deeply though. I particularly enjoy aromatherapy. I have just had a new bath and we decided to have one with the Jacuzzi jets. I have been told not to use them for now as they massage the back etc – typical!!

    I saw my Dr to talk about going back to work, phased from June with a view to full-time from September. She had other ideas – she has strongly advised me to consider part-time for 12 months??!! I feel like I am being penalised – hubby and I were just at the stage where the off-spring were not calling on our money and we could start considering more exotic holidays (Jacuzzi bath) etc and now we will have to start considering money more again. But hey, what’s money – of no importance at all is it?

    Not quite plain sailing yet Peg. Had a letter following my heart check. Seems to receive Herceptin safely the blood has to be pumped into (or through) the heart at 55% - mine is 51.8%. I have now got to go for an MRI or a MUGA scan – waiting for appointment. Anyone know more about this?

    I currently have a chesty cough and a cold but my Dr has given me precautionary anti-biotics, so no high temperature is developing this time.

    My friend is in having her lumpectomy today.

    Sandra from the UK
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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited March 2006
    Leanne

    You have been in my thoughts constantly. I go to a support centre and I met a lovely lady called Maragaret - her prognosis was a couple of months - 18 months ago - we had a good old giggle on Thursday and she looks wonderful.

    Come to think about it, my dear old dad was given months to live when I was 3 years old - he died 7 years ago.

    Fight girl, fight.

    Sandra from the UK
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  • leannem
    leannem Member Posts: 137
    edited March 2006
    Hi

    Thanks everyone for your prayers, good thoughts and encouragement. It has been of some comfort to pop in here and read them all. Plus to read everyones great progression to post treatment!

    We have been doing it pretty tough emotionally since the latest news but I am hoping the sadness and fear will soon lessen and a new sense of normality will soon settle in. Scott and I took the kids to Sea World on the Gold Coast this weekend which was a nice get away. I just couldn't stand staying at home, answering calls, etc.

    Tomorrow is a brain scan which I am a little scared of. I suppose it is natural now to fear the worse but I haven 't been having headaches or dizziness so here's hoping that one is clear! Then to the Onc Wed for the results and start the new chemo. yuck. This next 6 weeks is just going to be so hard.

    I also need a new heart check Sandra, as I have only just learnt my heart function was less than 100% (not sure what) so need to see what is happening there.

    So many variables.

    Glad to hear everyone is slowly starting to enjoy there no more treatment status! I think it is always scary though and I know my news hasn't helped any of you put those fears behind you.

    Oh, Marg, I PM'd you.

    Love
    Leanne
    xoxox
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  • Calico
    Calico Member Posts: 1,108
    edited March 2006
    Leanne,

    my prayers will be with you forever!!!!!!!

    Marg,

    Milk Thistle is estrogenic, google and research and ask you onc (it was posted on the Q & A session on bc.org). I took it for 5 yrs prior to bc and wonder now since my bc is er/pr +

    I am starting Femara tomorrow. It's my birthday today (42) and I am feeling soooo sad for all our sisters who struggle with advanced bc. I had two beers tonight just because and it was goooood!! (feeling guilty now)

    God Bless you all today and always

    Calico
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  • linny
    linny Member Posts: 204
    edited March 2006
    Hi Marg,
    I am usually on the thread "starting chemo in Aug. 05" - I am finished treatments and rads. You are the first post I saw re bleeding hemorroid - I have the same problem!! During chemo, it was so painful, I was often in tears after each bowel movement. Now after chemo (I finished Dec. 5) it is still bad, but not as painful (it is NOT a sign of colon cancer) - best advice I got during chemo, take lots of stool softeners (fibre pills for example) or occasional laxatives if needed.
    Linda
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  • Pegk
    Pegk Member Posts: 389
    edited March 2006
    Belated Happy Birthday Calico!
    I've been away for a couple of days because of work. How good does that sound? I worked 54 hours in 4 days! Of course, I got tired, but it was the getting up too early and staying up too late kind of normal fatigue. I actually felt really good. My studio is gioing to be dark for a couple of weeks, but I'll be going in to the city for some easy 8 hour maintenance days, which I hope to combine with some social events.

    Leanne, I'm so glad you got to have some fun with your family, before the next chemo starts. This battle can be won! You can do it!

    Best to everyone!
    Love. Peggy
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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited March 2006
    A birthday card for Calico ;-)

    http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=JY39704728

    Leanne I was also glad to read you decided to go away with your family. I hope Scott is now giving you support, especially with the boys?

    Peg – 54 hours in 4 days!! the mere thought tires me.

    Thoughts of you all, especially Leanne over the next 6 weeks.

    Sandra from the UK
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  • tinkermax
    tinkermax Member Posts: 269
    edited March 2006
    Hi everyone

    I had my oopherectomy on thursday, came home friday lunchtime.

    The gyn said the surgery went really well, no problems at all, which is good.

    I have three incision, one in the belly button (1 stitch) one on the right side (1 stitch) and one on the left where he removed both ovaries (2 stitches) I will have the stitches out on tuesday.

    take care everyone
    Maxine
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  • Calico
    Calico Member Posts: 1,108
    edited March 2006
    Thank you Peggy,

    thank you Sandra for the card, that was very thoughful of you, can't have enough cake, yummm

    Tinker,
    good for you that they are out. You left the uterus inside?
    Hope you recover well.

    Leanne,
    how was the brain scan?
    I pray for good results!!!

    God Bless
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  • Liezel
    Liezel Member Posts: 192
    edited March 2006
    Hi All,

    I have been MIA for a while, and was devastated to come back to your news Leanne. It feels so insignificant to say that I am thinking of you. My heart bleads for you, Scott and the family. If tears and prayers can beat this beast, you have all of mine....

    My news seem trivial now. Brain scan was clear. Had Excission of right axilla on 10 March. That all came back clear as well. I have been suprisingly mobile since then. My arm still quite stiff and painful, but my day to day life went back to normal after the drain came out last Wednesday. Spent the weekend with family and friends at my family's beach house a few hours away.

    Still battling with these horrid headaches. My doc suggested milk thistly for my liver, which I wanted to avoid because of the estrogen, but I am getting desperate now. She wants me to have my eyes checked for mets as well, but I would think that is impossible?

    I am glad to see everybody is getting along OK. Wanted to respond to all, but too upset now. Will talk again soon.

    Liezel
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  • jlpd
    jlpd Member Posts: 54
    edited March 2006
    Leanne, I've been reading posts on other threads...You may not believe it, but you are a strong woman. For that matter, all of us are! You will beat this...you have done so much for other women fighting this disease. Our prayers are with you.

    The ultrasound I had of my liver was normal. It's funny, but I have little faith in the local hospital which is where it was done. I've asked to have other scans, etc., done as soon as this semester is over.

    Sandra...I felt a little depression when I was told that it would take my body 6 to 12 months to recover from chemo. Well, I have to say that I agree my strength is not what it should be, but I don't quit moving and doing what I need to do. I didn't quit working during this whole ordeal, although they lightened my teaching load last semester by one class. I took days off for chemo treatment (and a few days after each treatment). I think having work to focus on (and my beloved children and horses!) made this whole thing more bearable. So, go back to work if you think you can do it...and take days off when you're tired!

    I finally felt strong enough to tell my other half that enough was enough and I felt we needed to go our separate ways. This has been hanging over me for several years and I avoided it as I wanted my oldest through high school...well, she's almost finished now with her first year in college. My husband really doesn't believe me and he doesn't understand. Quite frankly...may I speak frankly???...I don't mean to offend anyone...but when it's been over six years since we've had any intimacy, wouldn't one realize something is not right? He wants to now go to counseling. Funny, when I suggested it last year he said...why bother, it didn't do any good the last time. Well guess what...it won't do us any good. You can not survive a relationship without trust, and that died a long time ago. After going through bc treatments, I have realized that I am stronger than I realized and I want to live life to its fullest. We have so much to live for and we don't need someone telling us what we can and can not do. Can I say I feel empowered! Thanks for listening ladies!

    Oh, by the way...finally was fitted for a real bra and my protheses. Yeh!
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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited March 2006
    jlpd well done on making a very tough decision, my very best wishes that everything turns out well for you all.

    jlpd I do desperately want to get back to work but I don’t want to keep having days off. I get really protective over my learners and I just hate other people taking my groups – terrible I know. So maybe if I do go back part-time things will work out better – we’ll see.

    (Nothing to do with my full-time job). I have just finished tutoring a group online for the last 10 weeks – the course is called HeLLO (Helping e-learners learn online). It is a good, interesting course – guess what – not one of the learners knew of my condition and not one of them saw me wearing the animal – good isn’t it ;-) So I have had a little bit to keep my mind occupied and active. At the moment I am working on finding out more on the problems Dyslexics face. I took myself off for a 1-day course and now have 8 modules to produce – not too intense so I should be OK. I wonder if any of our September ladies face problems through Dysleixia?

    Speak soon.

    Sandra from the UK
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  • marg1
    marg1 Member Posts: 73
    edited March 2006
    Hello everyone,

    Calico, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you etc... Thanks for the tip on the Milk Thisle, I will stop taking it.

    Peggy, your a maniac -- good to hear that you can handle that king of workload. I go back to work in 2 weeks and not really looking forward to it. I dread the stress in my old positon as director of nurses. My boss said that she may have another position for me. I hope so... my new life after BC --- reduction in stress, screw the housework and play with the kids instead, take harley rides with my hubby, have more sex and take long baths. I had not had a bath in years (only showers). I forgot how relaxing they can be.


    Maxine, I hope your recovery is fast and all is well. Did your onc suggest the removal of the ovaries? My onc did not even give me that option, she said tamoxifen, tamoxifen and some injections, and another that went right over my head. I see her again on the 27th of this month. I plan to research it and get with her. Why not such remove the ovaries is my question?


    Sandra, sounds like your doing geat too!!!!

    Jlpd -- What is your name anyway??? Good for you on your recent decision. Your right life is too short, enjoy, find yourself first then find a good man to share it with. Six years huh... that's rough girl. I freaking when my mojo was missing......

    Leanne, thanks for the PM's -- You are an incredible woman.

    Love ya and I pray for all us

    Marg
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  • leannem
    leannem Member Posts: 137
    edited March 2006
    hi everyone

    1 more sleep til my new round of chemo. I got a phone call from the onc nurse who warned me that even though I am due to start at 8.30am do not expect to be finished before 6.30PM!!! 10 loooong hours of crappy chemo. Not looking forward to it. God knows what I will do for that long. I can't even take my internet and chat to you guys- no internet connection there!

    Jlpd- Congratulations on making such a tough decision. 6 YEARS???? Like Marg I am freaking when the mojo goes for a few days... yikes. I am so pleased for you at your feeling of empowerment. That is what I am chasing at the moment however so far it has been elusive... Congrats again and heres to a healthy, happy future!

    Marg, I would DEFINATELY push for the ovary removal. Like you, my onc recommended tamoxifen and injections but my theory is- why artificially shut off (with those drugs) what we can totally remove?? When I go in tomorrow I am pushing him (actually make that shoving him) for the removal. That is my view anyway...

    I had no idea about the milk thistle- a naturopath recommended it to me to take after chemo. Will go against that one then. Must admit I forgot to tell her I was ER+. She gave me a HUGE print out of herbs, foods, supplements, etc that have been proven through research to help either prevent or help treat BC. Let me know if any of you would like some info. I am only part way through it all- i am looking into taking some of the 'treatment' ones. Also there are a couple that have properties to halt mets that I will be jumping on!

    Sandra- How is the work decision going? I was looking into starting some kind of part time work and that was about as far as I got so I admire your get up and go attitude. However I can see that it would be a great "normal" thing to do after having treatment.

    Liezel- congrats on clear brain scan and axilla! Great news! Excuse my ignorance but how do they check for eye mets? I remember I came across something on it last week when I was searching for liver mets info but of course don't remember it now... Why was the milk thistle recommended to you? To help with the head aches? Is St Mary's thistle the same? it also has liver detox properties.

    No news on my brain scan- will get that info tomorrow. I just can't cope with another blow if it is bad news but I am trying to be positive given I don't have any symptoms...says she of the symptomless liver mets....

    love to all

    xoxoxoxo
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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited March 2006
    You will be in my thoughts Leanne, especially tomorrow.

    Will let you know more on the work front when I have seen the Personnel Mannager of our college on 28th. Got mark up on for rads on Friday so will know when I have to go for the 3 week stuff.

    Speak soon.

    Sandra from the UK.
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  • foxxf
    foxxf Member Posts: 171
    edited March 2006
    jlpd you go girl, It's a huge decision but give one you said has been a long time coming. be strong stay true to yourself.

    This thing sure makes us take a long hard look in the mirror.

    Leanne- there is not a day goes by that I don't think of you +++++++++++++++thoughts++++ for you scan. If there is any thing you need please let us know. Get some rest.

    Best wishes
    Nicole
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  • foxxf
    foxxf Member Posts: 171
    edited March 2006
    With much thanks to an organisation called Can Assist, I flew home on the weekend to see my family. It's a 5 & 1/2 hr drive but just a 45min flight.

    It was so wonderful to see them again, my little boy kept coming up to me and saying "you a good boy coming on the airplane" (everyone calles him a good boy so he calls everyone else a good boy too! lol) I went up early Saturday morning and came home early monday morning. I must say that it has been harder that I ever imagined being away from them. This is the longest I have been away from my husband for 17 years and I have never been away from my children. (except hospital stays)

    my husband said that my little boy was crying monday night saying "mummy gone" and that my daughter was quite upset too. The good news is that they are all coming down this weekend for a two week stay. My brother in law is a truck driver and they are catching a lift with him. We are all so excited.

    We will be off to see the sights of Sydney.

    Hope everyone is well
    Nicole
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  • Liezel
    Liezel Member Posts: 192
    edited March 2006
    jlpd, you are a brave girl. I am sure you will have times that you start to question yourself, go with it and work through all the fears and worries. It will make you even stronger!

    Leanne, not too sure how they check for eye mets. I have to go to an Ophtomologist who specialises in the Retina. He can only see me 29 March, after my radiation planning. Until then I have to battle on with the headaches. The Milk Thistle was prescribed to detox my liver. My doc thinks that the head aches are just a build up of toxins and by detoxing the liver it might improve. I'll appreciate it if you could forward me some of the info on natural remedies that you have.

    Good news, My Medical Aid has confirmed that they'll pay for 1 Year's treatment of Herceptin. What a relief....

    Nicole, hang in until the weekend.

    Look after yourselves all!!

    Liezel
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  • leannem
    leannem Member Posts: 137
    edited March 2006
    Hi all

    Just a quick one to say another thanks for the good thoughts and pm's for my "first" chemo. It was a really really long day but I made it! They were true to their word- 10 hours of continuous chemo. Ugh. My veins are protesting though and I am now being scheduled for a portacath in my chest. Not want I was wanting to do but sure beats fishing around for a non compliant vein I guess!

    Yesterday I slept most of the day and today thought I was super woman and went out for lunch then some shopping. BAD idea! Crawled home feeling awful and spent the afternoon in bed. Am heading back there shortly actually.

    I am feeling generally okay at the moment. I definately feel better now I am back on some treatment and "doing" something about this beast. I just have to hope and pray this is the answer for me.

    hope you are all well and sorry its not very personal
    xoxox
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  • Pegk
    Pegk Member Posts: 389
    edited March 2006
    Dear Leanne,
    I'm glad to hear you got through #1. The battle has begun again. Getting a port is no big deal and I'm sure you'll find that it makes your treatments easier. I never regretted getting one and although I'm anxious to get rid of it my Dr. wants me to hold on to it for awhile.
    Take care of yourself and continue to feel the encouragement coming to you from around the world.
    Love, Peggy
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  • txred9876
    txred9876 Member Posts: 392
    edited March 2006
    Keep your chin up Leanne...your doing great.....

    Do what you can but try not to overdo it to much...

    As always your in my thoughts and prayers...as are you all..

    Tina
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  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 7,209
    edited March 2006
    Hello my sisters,

    I am back in the country, and almost back to my time zone. My trip to France was wonderful. I saw so many family and friends that my social calendar was far more full there than it ever is here. There were new babies, new spouses and even a few never-met-before adults.

    My new normal does have me a little despondant though. The aromasin side effects mean that my legs start to hurt, alot, after too much walking. Cobblestones are particularly tough on my ankles. I need to rest more often, and tire so much more quickly. Also picked up three virus's in three weeks, two of which included fever. Could it be that I will get sick more easily/often?

    While in the south of France I met one of the women who posts infrequently on the Mets board, and I found a soul-mate. We had been emailing for a month or so, and read each others blogs, so this friendship was not a surprise at all. It was an incredible day.

    We ate well. Heck, I am no longer denying myself dessert after all of this! [But I did not gain a pound, I am happy to say.] But for the first time in my life, I was ready for a vacation to end.

    Back to work this weekend, and into the regular routine. I will post some pictures and some narratives on my blog this week as I have the time and energy.

    *susan*
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  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 7,209
    edited March 2006
    Leanne,

    You are never far from my thoughts. A ten-hour chemo day sounds like a really long day to me. Whenever you have the energy, please let us know how you are managing. I am sure that we all wonder how you can juggle the children, Scott, the routine of daily life while adjusting to a new [and scary] reality.

    In my thoughts,

    *susan*
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  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 7,209
    edited March 2006
    Janet,

    Wow! That is a courageous thing you have done; and since I know that your relationship with the other half has been in your thoughts for a long time, I am sure that you are making the right decision for you!

    We are here if you need emotional support or just to vent as you go forward.

    All the best,

    *susan*
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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited March 2006
    Leanne – you have so many of us rooting for you – 10 hrs – wowee. I also feel better knowing you are having treatment to batter the beast – yeahh. I am sending virtual battering thoughts to defeat the beast – why don’t we all agree a time where we can send healing thoughts to Leanne – we would need to know all the time differences – who’s good at planning?

    Susan – nice to be there, nice to be back. I love going away but I also like coming back home. We are planning a long weekend in York Easter Weekend – on the way back we will have to call into the hospital for my radiotherapy treatment ;-).

    I start radiotherapy on Wednesday and finish on 21 April. Just got to wait for the appointment for either MUGA or MRI scan to sort out this heart pumping statistic to see whether I can have Herceptin safely or not – grhhhhhh – hospital appointments, just so sick of them.

    Well, the weekend is here again ladies – make the best of it.

    Sandra from the UK
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  • Pegk
    Pegk Member Posts: 389
    edited March 2006
    Hi everybody!
    Nothing new to report about me (I guess that's good!)
    I've been readin through your post and I'm again amazed what a strong and resourceful group we are!
    Maxine, I hope your recovering well from your surgery.
    Janis, you have so much going for you-your children, your home, your horses
    How great to be able to illiminate the negative from your life!
    Nicole, I hope you had a fantastic visit with your family and the rest of your time in Sydney flies by!
    Marg, good luck with your future treatment,
    Leanne, I hope that you're not feeling too bad from that last chemo, but that it's doing it's job and eliminating those nasty cells.
    Liezel, Great news about the Herceptin.
    Good luck with radiation, Sandra!
    Welcome Home Susan! I'll be checking in with your blog!

    I hope everybody is feeling as good as can be and experiences improvement with every setback.

    Love,
    Peggy
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  • lynellb123
    lynellb123 Member Posts: 69
    edited March 2006
    Hi all, Leanne all good thoughts to you as you undergo your latest chemo. Stay strong, you can beat this.

    I am planning to go back to work the first week of April, I'm a little nervous about the effects of being tired as well as the exposure to lots of germs. I hope that I'll stay well.

    This last week of my sick leave is full of follow up visits with my surgeon, my radiation oncologist & a meeting with a new gynocologist/oncologist. I feel like I should be doing something more exciting my last week home!

    To all my September sisters, I hope you're all feeling stronger & better with each passing day.

    Peg, I love your hair & your new avatar. Spring is in the air.
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  • tinkermax
    tinkermax Member Posts: 269
    edited March 2006
    Hi everyone

    Sorry i havent posted for a while!

    I have recovered really well from the oopherectomy (ovaries removed). Just waiting to hear the pathology was good....fingers crossed. I would have thought i'd have heard by now as the op was 12 days ago....i guess no news is good news. As the surgery was done because of the breast cancer diagnosis, the gyn said he doesnt need to see me for a follow-up, so I am waiting to hear from my onc about the pathology, I spoke to him yesterday and he hasnt heard anything yet.

    Leanne
    You are constantly in my thoughts...i hope the new chemo treats you kindly and kicks some cancer butt.

    Hugs

    Maxine
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