January 2012 rads

Oh yeah...I forgot to mention that I have to have a D&C over spring break.  They found a polyp in my uterus. Isn't that great. I'm weary. My life sucks right now.

Reading through all the post and boy to I understand - I went through a very difficult period of feeling "guilty" that my cancer wasn't "bad enough" because of what certain family members said.  It took me a long time to get past it and realzie - screw them, cancer is cancer no matter the stage, grade, size, etc.  The mental toll it takes on you is the same at stage 1 as I imagine it is at stage iv - you have the chance to survive any stage and you have the chance of dying in any stage.  We are allowed to feel the way we need to get through this - there are no rules or qualifications, you just have to have breast cancer.

 As far as the rads go - I'm on 5 of 35 and I'm starting to get pretty red, tender and sensitive. The pain I had after surgery is coming back also - I thik the rads is aggravating it all.

Love and hugs to all 

amf099 - It was explained to me that with lumpectomy only there is a 25-30% chance of recurrence and after rads the rate is reduced to 5-6%.  For me personally that makes rads worth it.  I want to give myself every chance to live and and to live a full life without recurrence.  The decision is yours of course, but I encourage you to ask lots of questions and carefully consider every option. 

lifechanging2011 -I first saw the MO who said no chemo which I expected based on what my surgeon had told me.  When I went for my first appt with the RO, as soon as I saw the "Radiology" sign on the outside of the suite, the tears started flowing.  For me, that was the first sign of how real this is.  I'm now done with 4 treatments and I feel a little more tender (more inside than the skin) but that is about all so far.

Maggie - It's going to be okay.  My RO asked me to use the lotion 3x/day (morning, following my 3:45 treatment and at bedtime).  So far, so good, all things considered.  Your posts have been a blessing to me.  Keep your chin up, we are all here for you and you can do ANYTHING!

I had asked last week if anyone had an idea of costs...thanks to those who responded.  I looked online at my insurance company today and the billed rate for my treatments is $742.02/day.  That is about what I expected, but of course that is not exactly what insurance pays.  I am in San Antonio, so of course costs will vary depending on where you are.  Thought this might be helpful for those of you who are curious like I was.

One question for everyone.  I am still having a little pain due to the seroma.  I'm 7 weeks post surgery.  Is anyone else having this problem and what are you doing for it?  I'm having a little trouble getting comfortable at night.  

Thanks everyone, know that I am thinking good thoughts for all of you.   Julie

I went through 20 today.  I put my lotion on immediately after rads and I am a little sore but nothing like it could be.  I was pink and sore when I started.  I was told that rads would bring my chance of recurrence down to about 5 percent and the MO said the tamoxifen that I will take after rads will mainly protect my other breast by about 50 percent.  She said since both breasts have been in the same places and I got cancer in one then I have the blueprint to get it in the other one and my odds are higher. 

I'm a little worried about the tamoxifin and it completely cutting off estrogen.  What about hair thinning and growing a beard?  Come on...She said if the side effects got worse than the disease I could discontinue treatment since it was preventative. 

I guess we will all move over into Feburary rads in a week or so.  Sometimes I do want to scream and get so tired of the daily grind.  Planning your entire life around rads but then I think I should be grateful we have the technology. I do get tired especially in the afternoon and have gotten inflamed lungs. Primary care doctor has me on antiobiotics and steroids. I should be feeling better soon. Nice talking to you gals.

Lifechanging2011 (what an appropriate name) - a seroma is a pocket of fluid that builds up in the place were the tumor was (I did not have drains).  It feels hard like the tumor did, but is bigger.  For the most part it's not an issue, but is bothersome if someone hugs me too hard and when sleeping.  Surgery was on the left side with the tumor in the upper, outer quadrant (about 1:00).  In the beginning when I laid on the left side it was really painful, but is getting better as long as I "adjust".  When I lay on the right and my breast moves to the midline, there is a pulling where the seroma/tumor is and it can get a little uncomfortable.  Still trying to prop my breast on a pillow, which is not so easy as I am not big breasted.  Not a whole lot to prop.  :-)  They tell me my body will absorb the fluid eventually so I guess until then it's just a little discomfort.  In the scheme of things now, it could always be worse. 

Please keep my boss in your prayers, she had a biopsy last week and gets results today.  Praying that it was benign and she will have to join our club. 

Hugs to all, have a blessed day.

I got an interesting call from my RO today.  She was attempting to plan my rads therapy from the CT scan that was done on Monday.  It appears that she could not locat the tumor bed at all.  She said it was as though it had never existed it had healed so completely.  Only the scar remains as a reminder that surgery was done.  That was the good news.  The bad news is that now I am only eligible for WBR and not the partial that I was looking for.

I still remember the prayer that my DS and DIL did for me, asking that God take the tumor away "as if it had never existed".  When I heard those words from my RO, it brought back that prayer immediately!  Is it possible that I have been healed and do not need rads at all...I know prayers work, but I've always prayed for others...never myself.  I have a lot of thinking to do over the weekend, before I have to begin treatments next Wednesday. 

Banba, I am in Greece and also got a prescription steroid cream from my doctor. I asked today if aloe vera was OK, and they said to go ahead and that it can be helpful. I got a pure aloe vera gel and will try it today.

First treatment tomorrow.. I see a lot of ladies are upset about your radiation.. Me on the other hand is looking forward to getting started. Think the pros outweigh the cons... Want to take whatever they will "throw" at me so I know I have done all I can to get rid of this nastyness I did not want in the first place.. I want to do all I can so I will be around for my future grankids..

Ossa - I don't think people are upset about their radiation, I think it just wears on you and you need to vent.  I've only had 6 treatments so far and I'm already done with it - the every day thing is what really gets to you.  I think your attitude is great and to be honest I feel the same way - tell me what to do and I'll do it, just save my life - but doesn't mean we have to like it

good luck and keep that positive attitude but feel free to come vent when/if it gets to you  

My treatments just seem to be moving along without much event. I am in week three and getting a good tan and redness going. I am continuing a lot of stretching that I learned in PT after my bmx recently so that radiation doesn't tighten it all back down again. I am fitting in walking in order to try to get my energy back up after chemo, bmx and rads. My focus is on creating health and functionality.

Hello ladies.  All is going well so far with me and my radiation.  Skin is holding up nicely....no peeling, burns or anything else.  I do have a little soreness and a full feeling but my RO and nurse tell me this is all normal.  Not using any creams or anything else.  Don't really have a need right now.  My breast is a little red but that is all.

Findingsolace:  My nails are not black but you can definitely tell that I've had some sort of medical problem.  They are more of a tan/yellowish looking where they have pulled away from the beds.  I can't tell yet if I will loose any or not.  I'll just have to wait and see.  There are a couple of them that I'm worried about because the discoloration seems to be over more than half the nail.  Just don't know right now.  I'll keep you posted.  I hate the swelling for you.  It's pretty aggravating to me.  And I am a month from chemo and still have some swelling issues.  Hopefully they will resolve themselves soon.

amfo99:  I, too, believe it's a personal choice.  But my choice was to do anything and everything I can to make sure I don't have to go through this again. So I agree with Ossa. I intend to do everything in my power to keep myself healthy. I feel that the effects of radiation are a small price to pay if it will zap whatever microscopic cells that may be left in my body. I do NOT want to do this again. But in the end, it is your decision and a very personal one.  We all want you to do what's best for you.

HUGS!

Ossa, hope your first rad went well!

#5 done today.  Bit achy, but so far not too bad.

I agree, it is the every day thing.  Annoying for so many reasons.  Disruption to routine, I could have spent my parking fees on something nicer like new shoes, and the daily reminder that yes I have cancer.

Putting on cream couple times a day as suggested.  Not steroid or anything - just water based, lanolin free, perfume free moisturizer as suggested. (using Glaxal Base because costco had huge tub cheap)  Told easier to prevent some SEs rather than treat after they occur.

Told 25% chance of local recurrence if I didn't have rads.  Only 5-8% chance with rads after lumpectomy.  At my age risk of not doing was not okay.  Want the best chance I have of collecting a pension and I don't want to do this again any time soon.

Ossa - good luck! I had #2 today and my breast is already turning pink. Great. I will try a novel(or not so novel perhaps)appoach to skin managment by applying honey to it. I'll let you know how it went.

Ossa:  I hope all went well for your today.  I remember on my first day I thought my heart would pound from my chest.  Yesterday (day 5) I could have fallen asleep.  I woke this morning very tired and it really has not gone away.  Feel like I could use a good, loooong nap.  Breast is getting a little pink and is also tender in the chest wall all around the perimeter of the breast.  SNB area is also tender, feels like I stretched too far.  Saw RO yesterday at treatment time and she says all is normal.  Will keep applying my lotion 3x/day and and hope for the best.  So looking forward to the weekend where I can forget cancer and just sleep.    Hugs to all, thinking of all of you and so glad I have you here to talk to. - Julie

Elizabeth1889, thanks.   I'm sure it's just as rough on everyone else too.  I'm so looking forward to February coming and going.  It's hard to be in good spirits when you know you are trucking to a doctor's office each day.  You're right... so many months of treatment and it gets tiring.  I can't wait until I can have a normal routine again.