Finish my sentence... I'm sick and tired of...

...people telling me how brave I am and how I'm handling this so well.

Um...hello??? How am I supposed to "handle" this??? I don't have a freaking choice!

 ...and asking me how I'm feeling. I know you mean well, but can you please stop asking me about my cancer!!! Talk to me about the kids, the weather, work...anything!!!

...the co-worker comparing her breast implants (which she got because she wanted bigger cleavage, not a medical reason) to mine as if I just didn't like my originals. I'm still in the expansion stage but she keeps asking me things like how big I'm going to go and how she couldn't stand not having her own nipples. A,duh, I'd like to have mine back but that's not an option.

...people telling me 'of course you'll survive', when actually there's a good chance that i won't 

...my husband's lack of support

...the fear of not seeing my kids grow up

-Not being able to go to work and just work. I manage a small town drug store and all of my customers are my neighbors. They mean well... but I have a job to do while I am still able to be at work, and I can't stop to fill everyone in. I think sometimes I should just write up a card explaining everything to hand to each new person who asks.

-waking up at 4am soaking wet. I hate mornings. I hate being sweaty. I hate being up in the morning, being sweaty.

I keep hoping someone is going to tap me on the shoulder and tell me "It's just a bad joke, you really don't have cancer".  I'm tired of being too tired to even think of what my life was like before.  Fatigue has a whole new meaning to me.

of being afraid

of being forced to face emotions

and this is merely my beginning

people who say "you will be fine".  -my doctor is not sure i will be fine, i am not sure i will be fine but somehow they all know that i will be.

people who have messaged my husband and said" they hope i get over this soon." like its a cold or flu and in a few weeks i will be back to normal. hmmmm had both breasts and all nodes out this week on my way to chemo etc.. as soon as i am strong enough.  not feeling so normal am i missing something here

Of feeling like a crappy mom to my 8 and 6'year old girls. I feel like I'm just going through the motions.





And of course of just being sick and tired. I wish I had the energy of some of the women I read about on here.

alison34-i can tell from reading you here alot of the same things i hear.

it seems so many people i have met mean well sometimes but really have no idea what to say to me

of the lymphedema in my arm, hand, and fingers.  (I'm a puppeteer and it's affecting my work)

of my knee joint deteriorating from the arimidex.  (I can hardly walk without lurching)

of the countless aches and pains (I didn't have this before)

of all the stupid pills I have to take.  (I never took pills before)

 damn, I miss my "before"

I am sick and tired of being tired.  I used to have so much energy and now simple things seem like monumental tasks.

Dripping sweat from my face preventing me from using nice makeup. And on my back soaking through my clothes. It's happening as I type.

Also, "It'll be over with before you know it and things will go back to normal".....what the hell is "normal" about being 31 with breast cancer, bilateral mastectomy, chemo, Herceptin, rads and tamoxifen?!