January 2012 rads

I'm past the halfway point now. 16 out of 30 done. I'm not feeling much fatigue, but I'm taking a day off every week so that I only have to work 4 days in a row. I start feeling tired around 3. A cup of coffee perks me up. My skin is starting to look really sunburned, but it isn't unbearable. It will help having the weekend to recover. I'm trying to keep it exposed while I'm home. Good luck everyone. We can get through this. 

Have been recomended Glaxal Base by several people... Was told NO oils of any kind... Costco has large tubs of Glaxal ..   Going for my muga on monday.....Have a great weekend everyone

chef127 - I would check with RO nurse or tech.  Literature I was given said specifically no ice packs or other temperature extremes.  I know it sounds like it makes sense, but maybe it has to do with the vulnerability of the tissues.

Hello ladies.  See everyone is continuing on their pace.  Sorry for those of you that the machine broke down.  That's a bummer.  I sure hope they call me welllll in advance since I have to leave almost an hour before my appointment if that ever happens to me.

I have managed to get 2 weeks (10 treatments) under my belt and now my breast is sore and I feel achy all over.  Really get stiff if I sit a long time and kinda hard to get going again.  I'm going to blame it on the rads.  LOL!  I don't know what else it could be.  I do feel much better as far as SE's go.  Taste buds are returning and I find myself eating a lot right now.  Guess I'll be gaining back that 12 pounds I lost.  Oh, well!  Still have some swelling in my feet and legs.  I wonder when that will go away.  Maybe never huh?

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

HUGS!

Ossa, thanks for that info.  Had no idea that after radiation I would need to keep using cream. Hope you gals have a good weekend.

Rjbaby, Momine is right.  I had horrible swelling of my ankles after TCH.  It only lasted a few weeks, and now I am fine.

Ossa, good to know that we need to keep the lotion going. 

I just had my 12th treatment on Friday. I was catching up this weekend on all the posts as I have so little time during the week. One of the things I learned this week is that I didn't ask the right questions. Of course it's hard to ask the right questions if you don't know what to ask. So I learned to ask where the entire treatment area is. I have faithfully applied cream to my breast after each treatment and all throughout the day but no one told me how high up on my chest this was going to go and now I have a rash all over my upper chest. I'm trying to really cover the area heavily in cream now but there really is no catching up what was lost. My breast on the other hand is holding up well so far though it has become somewhat swollen, heavy and stiff (I'm big breasted). It aches most of the time with some twinges of stabbing pain.

 My experiences with fatigue have been kind of strange. I get my treatment at 8 in the morning and faithfully hit a wall at 2 each afternoon. I'm wondering if I had afternoon rads if I would be asleep when the fatigue hits and I wouldn't notice it as much. Anyway, I started getting some fatigue the first week. I don't care if that's too early. It was a fact. But then the second week it wasn't quite as bad. I have good days and I have bad days. But so far, it hasn't just gotten progressively worse each day. It varies. And mine is a strange kind of fatigue. It hits suddenly and I feel shaky and empty, like I just can't move another inch. But I have found if I have tea with caffeine in the afternoon around the time I usually fall apart it isn't as bad.

My RO tells me that the SE should start around the 3rd or 4th week (so I guess I just had to do it early) and that the worst of all will be the week after the rads are done. I may either take that entire week off work or work from home. I have an hour commute both to and from work and I get my treatments in the same city as I work. Because of this I think I might start taking Wed. afternoon off so I can get some extra rest. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me to get everything done and still sleep!

One of the hardest things for me is the moments of depression. I'm so tired of doing all this. I've been in "cancer" mode since September and it feels like it will never end. And at times the dark seems so dark. And then for no particular reason it will lift and I'll feel just great. Who knows why. Anyway, thanks ladies for being here so there is a place we can share and whine and have people around who get how we feel.

Christy

I know exactly how you feel.  It's like suddenly I am fine and then on the way home from rads I just start crying.  I am on 18 tomorrow and I also have a rash.  I use the cream faithfully but still have a red,sore boob.  I go at 11:00 and sometimes around 5 or so the fatigue begins.  Caffeine does help a little. 

It is nice to talk to ladies that understand.

Momine, I hear you loud and clear.  This all started with me at the beginning of June too and I'm SICK OF IT!  I had a really good attitude for so long and kept getting compliments on how I was handling everything.  I had so much positive energy up until December and then all my upbeat thoughts, etc. crashed.  Now, I just want to get to a place where there is no more treatment, doctors, etc. I want my body and mind back so much.  Sometimes it feels like cancer, SEs and treatment is all I think about.  My favorite time of the day is late at night when I watch a TV show for an hour and then drift off the sleep.  

Well I'm off to lucky #13 this morning.  No call from the RO so machine must be up and running again.  Sorry about the vent, but just want to let you guys know that no part of cancer is easy and we all have good reason to cry and be grumpy from time to time.

I can relate to the depression we experience during cancer treatment.  I think it is worse during rads because nothing screams "cancer" like that radiation machine and the otherworldly vault we must be inside alone while the machine is on.  Since we have it five days a week there is no escaping the screaming "cancer."  At least during chemo there was time between treatments to regroup.  Also, by the time we reach rads, we are all tired of treatments and "down to our last nerve." Sending hugs to everyone.  Please know you are not alone in your feelings.

1 of 25... My "foob" has felt hot all day... Am I a hypochondriac?

Ralston, I sincerely doubt that any of us could be classified as hypochondriacs at this stage of our lives.  I had #3 today (of 33) and like you I  feel that I am already noticing a difference.  I'm tired, but attributing that to a whirlwind trip over the weekend to Colorado for my grandson's birthday.  I refused to let this damn cancer rule my life, but it has altered it some since I had to be back for treatments. I am feeling some pain in the breast, more than before.  I think one of my biggest issues is that I keep hearing how fortunate I am that I "only" need radiation.  I guess since I only had a lumpectomy and no chemo then I really do not have cancer.  Funny how the divit in my breast says otherwise.  Can't wait to see what rads do to it. 

On another thought, my RO gave me lotion (Medline Skin Repair) at the intial consult and told me  to apply 3x/day beginning on day one.  I don't find the actual treatments so unpleasant, but I am having a harder time staying upbeat even though I am generally a glass half full type.  I keep trying to visualize the radiation killing any stray cells, but my thoughts always return to the fact that is is also destroying the good cells.  I do find that it is good prayer time and that is what I am going to take with me from the treatments. 

Hugs to all, we're gonna get to the end and we're going to have some stories to tell.  Each of you are in my thoughts.  We can do this!

Newksmom100 - I hear you loud & clear!  While grateful to not have to go through chemo right now, not having chemo doesn't make you have cancer any less.  Cancer isn't a competition of diagnosis or treatment, even small tumours can met. People think since I didn't have chemo that it is not that bad and I will be better as soon as rads are done, which makes them feel better.  In reality had onco test that said I would only benefit 2% from chemo, so actually slightly higher chance of recurrence than if I had done chemo.  Not to mention MRI repeat on opposite breast in couple of months to look at something suspicious that showed up while doing pre-op MRI.  Thought of starting over makes me crazy and very annoyed at people who think the cancer will be over soon.  Once there, always there.  Like grief you figure out how to go on with your life, but you don't get over it.

For now trying to concentrate on where I am an not what others think.  Off to rads and weekly apt with RO today.

As for thinking symptoms are in your head - I think you feel what you feel. Other people just have to accept that.

Kaara - Hating cancer and how it changes our lives isn't defined by age.  Yes some of us now have a goal of reaching your age, but if it comes back in 25 years I would still be mad too!  It is crappy all round - rant all you want.  Doing rads & hormone therapy and yes I am tired! I am in my 40's but felt 70 some days - planning on bouncing back and hope you will too.

I have been catching up on everyone. I just started with my first radiation today. It was fine. They have a very nice huge picture on the ceiling with light filtering through the leaves of a tree. I wanted to close my eyes though and say a prayer or two or just be still and think healing thoughts. It was done fast. rjbaby- I never had swelling through my TCH routine but yesterday I took off my socks and woa- a lot of swelling- three weeks out of chemo. I guess it is normal from reading all the other posts so I am not going to worry about it. Are your nails black or just the same color but lifting? I can't tell if mine are going to fall off or not.

Christy- I get radiation near my work also and work 45 minutes away. I will have to see if I take off later on or not. I think a bit of depression is normal for all of us. I try to be patient with myself and not anticipate how I should feel. If depression is what I feel and it moves me to lay around a bit more, than I do. From my past experience, I always feel better in a few days. This cancer thing has made me feel a bit down for longer as I go through this but who knows, I am receiving blessings also through all the support and am looking at life differently, gaining in wisdom, patience and possibly changing a few things in my life because of this. If I have to be sharpened by the sword, so be it. If I am to suffer, well, who's to say I shouldn't? Though I try to avoid it. Funny thing- I was at the appointment and I was laying on the radiation treatment bed and the techs were adjusting the lighting and angle of the machine and I looked to the left of me and there was a huge shadow reflecting on the machine and it was my breast! As if I didn't have to be bare breasted, now I have a big shadow of my breast reflecting in the room! Anyway, I am very small breasted and when I lay down, it seems they just flop to the side but this shadow was of a very nice looking breast, all kind of perky.  I am sure it was the angle of the light and how they were adjusting the machine but it was funny to me to see  this big breast shadow of my little breast.  And so ends my first radiation treatment. God Bless!

amf099

Only you can choose what treatment is right for you.. I have chosen to take whatever they will throw at me. Want to do whatever I can to prevent a recurrence.. Have had chemo, mastectomy and now starting radiation.. Want to make sure all the potential microscopic cells left behind will be blasted and gone.. Good luck with your decision.