Triple Negative Recurrent BC in a Senior

Hello All - I am new to these BC discussion boards and have spent most of the day searching throughout the internet.  I was grateful to see that there is an entire forum dedicated to Triple Negative BC.   I'm sorry to jump into the middle of your discussion board but I thought perhaps someone here might be able to shed some light on things for me. 

I am taking care of my 74 year old mother who has recurrent triple negative breast cancer.  She was initially diagnosed about 6 or 7 years ago.  She had lumpectomy and radiation treatments.  She remained disease free until she presented with symptoms in November of 2010.  Her right hand began to cause her great pain, especially her fingers.  Who would have guessed that this was the first sign of recurrence.  A CT scan of her shoulder showed the cancer mass in the brachial plex nerves under her arm which were squeezing her nerves.  CT also showed tumors on her liver and one on her lung. 

She had chemo (can't recall the number of rounds 4 or 5) and her tumors were responsive but the chemo was very tough on her and she spent much time in the hospital. All was good from March through November 2011.  Then the back pain began as well as weakness in legs.  Back in for PET scan which showed tumors on the spine and also back in her liver.  She had radiation for the largest tumor on spine so that she could get into rehab and get her leg strength back.  She had began XELODA and was doing fine tolerating it.  She went for her regular followup with medical oncologist and mentioned that she had begun seeing double sometimes and she had felt slight nausea (not during XELODA dosing but on off week).  Dr. sent her for Brain scan to rule out mets.

Well, they were there and plenty of them.  If I had to guess looking at the scan, I might guess 8 or 12.  The largest back near the optic area of brain.  So, back to the radiologist they sent us yesterday.  I was hoping he would say they would target the one lone mass near her optic region but he said WBR due to all the other small ones.  You know at this point, her symptoms are minor.  I only think her symptoms acted up because she was weaning herself off of dexamethasone that she had been on since November's spinal cord compression discovery.  She is back on the dexamethasone (which she hates) and planning to begin WBR on Tuesday.  I don't know if this is the best thing for her anymore.  It sounded like a reasonable plan in the oncologist office yesterday.  But, I look at my Mom and I think that it might be more than she can handle.  She lives alone with her little Yorkie and her 2 cats.  She is to have 3 weeks of WBR then go back to her Medical Oncologist to begin with the XELODA again.  What to do, what to do??  Spent a lot of the day reading various sites on WBR and it is scarey.  Most of the sites I read were for Lung Cancer but since this is a breast cancer site thought I would come here.

You know this is not my 1st, 2nd, or even 3rd close family member battling this ugly disease.  My brother battled staged 3 Non Hogkins Lymphoma over 20 years ago, it was a very tough chemo protocol but he is fine!  My husband battled adult Rhabdomyosarcoma which was 6 months of heavy chemo, then 7 weeks of radiation, surgeries and  a recurrence that resulted in him having a partial lung removal and thank God that was over 12 years ago and he too is fine.  My dad battled primary liver cancer AFTER having a liver transplant and he was fine until they attempted the "radio frequency abalation" to try to stop his liver mets.  I believe that was what hastened his downfall with his disease.  So, I worry about this WBR and what it will do to my mother's quality of life. 

I was wondering if anyone here might have gone through this already or perhaps knows of someone who has?  Yes, I have posted on in the Brain Mets forum as well as the Older Age forum.  But, I can't help but wonder if her experiences might be different because of the fact she is Triple Negative. 

Thanks so much for listening.  Mostly, thanks so much for sharing your stories.  It really helps so many to read through them!! 

Laurie