MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

My daughter age 16 now has been in the loop since last year when I had the initial DCIS dx. I had no hesitation sharing the information. The MO said she should start mamograms 10 years earlier than otherwise (i.e., 40 instead of 50 here). They wouldn't test me for BRCA because I didn't have a family history and that could be partly due due to the small number of women in the family tree. I don't want her to miss the opportunity to say "yeah, test me." She hasn't shown much sign of being bothered by it, but of course DCIS is the least threatening story to have to tell your kids.

My kids have been very supportive of me during these past trying months.

I've struggled with having the BRCA test taken.  My 29 yr old daughter said she doesn't want to know. She said she will be proactive in checking and getting mammos, etc.  She has already had her first child so that is covered.  

That being said, I seem to recall reading that it can pass through the son.  He's 32 and going to get married this year.

I'm still deciding whether I should or shouldn't.   

Thanks ladies for your imput.  When I read the article I was abit taken back.  I understand this is something that comes with age and a maturity level.  I just felt that it was a bit misleading.  I worried so at the start of all of this but with time it has gotten easier in my mind.  I get the reason behind testing at a certain age, but they need to know.  Also its her choice on how she is going to deal with this.  My son also knows because I felt it was just as important for him to know.  If they were younger I dont think I would have really said to much to them.  But given their age, you bet I did.  Even if it was just 1 or to of us that have had BC in my family I still would have told them.  There have been 4 of us women who have had it.  So they need to know something so they can do with it what they need to in the years to come.  Thanks ladies for your help!

Elimar, thanks for the welcome.  If I have the test done, she doesn't want to know if it is positive.  And, she doesn't want to have the test herself.  

It's been a tough year for her.  She had two miscarriages, then had to deal with my diagnosis and treatment, and now she is 4 months pregnant and hoping she'll bring this baby to term.  I just think it has been too much for her.  Perhaps she will change her mind later.

newfmama....Having suffered through infertility and miscarriage myself, I can imagine that it just is too much for her right now. I think I would just quietly get the test done and if it's negative, you could tell her so she can be relieved about it and if it's positive then you can deal with how that knowledge affects any decisions you need to make about your own health. Maybe someday she will want to know when she has children of her own and thinks about how that knowledge could affect them.

I hope and pray that she can carry this baby to term.

(((VAL))) Happy Bday sister! I will be 60 on 1/31. Oh hate those milestone birthdays that end in a zero! Hope your day was great!

Happy belated Birthday Valjean! Hope you had a terrific day. Cheers to many more b-days to celebrate!

Valjean, it was probably a good thing your Dad got deployed as your Mom seemed to be popping out babies every 10 months!! How hard that must have been for her!! So young with 2 babies on her own....wow! She had good company while he was away, but how does a Dad bond with his kids in this situation? I`ve always wondered.....

Happy birthday, one day late, sweetie!

It has been a while since I have been on here . I have missed all of you. I don't know the last info I gave on here, but Radiation ended for me on Dec 7. and since they stopped herceptin during rads, I wont finish with herceptin until August. I tested that I am fully menopausal., so I am on day three of Anastozole which is the generic of Arimidex. I was already having hot flashes off and on day and night all of 2011, but now they are more intense. I had three in a row this morning at 1:30 a.m . Has anyone else had effects this soon from this pill. I have a question. I have a friend who is a three year BC survivor, she has the braca 1 gene, and had both breasts removed and reconstruction, but now she has a lump in the middle of her chest, that they want to do a pet scan , she is freaked out. She has heard that you shouldn't have more than four of these in a life time, and this will be her 5th, any comments? She is wondering if she should just have them remove and test the lump, and skip the pet scan.

Zumbagirl, I don't know where she heard that but I believe some of the Stage IV gals have alreay had more than 4 PETs, so I don't think that's true (I have only had CTs, Bone Scans and MRIs).



Happy belated Val - couldn't get my FB working last night (kept losing the wireless connection) so I couldn't say it on time. Hope it was a good one.

thanks Reesie, I will let my friend know. She is the only person I know that doesn't have a computer or lap top, so I told her I would ask my buddies on here. That will take one of her worries away :O)

Happy Birthday to Val!  You are a hot 60 year old!