if you could go back in time...

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minxie
minxie Member Posts: 484
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

If you could go back in time and address what you think gave you your cancer - would you? I know for BC it's not as clear cut as something like, say, lung cancer that's been caused by cigarettes or colon cancer related to a poor high fat diet. But there are certain things linked to BC, and if our younger selves had known about the ramifications, would we have done things differently? Like... putting off having kids until our 30s. Like taking the birth control pill for years and years. Like lots of alcohol intake and smoking.

For me. it would be fertility treatments, especially the one I had to try for my second child. The treatment pumped my body full of crazy anmounts of estrogen while supressing my immune system.  Even though I'm TN, this is most likely the cause. At the time I was doing the treatment I was focused solely on having the baby, not thinking of future effects, and they were very downplayed anyway.

Now that I have my wonderful little guy, I adore him. The one thing that gives me comfort, if I am to die, is my vision of personal heaven - he and I lying together in a hammock on a perfect summer's day, slight breathe ruffling the green sunspattered leaves above us, he curled up and sleeping softly in my arms, snoring his tiny little snore. I love him soooo much I could spend forver in time suspended like that.

But... how different my life would be if I hadn't done those treatments, hadn't had him, and hadn't gotten breast cancer. I wouldn't have this constant weight hanging over me and the special knowledge that very few others outside this special club have - that yes indeed, life is so capricious and cruel and fleeting.  That we are here but for a moment, and the world will go on without us. Would I now be making different choices in my life? Would I be more ambitious? Would I have pushed more for success in my professional and personal life, and gotten our family on an better track instead of this "whatever" attitude and place we're in?

 Hard choices. What would yours be?

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  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited January 2012

    minxie, I th ink we probably all think about this, esp with no family history, and my mom 75, just stopped working f/t and my grandmother and other relatives living well into their 80's and they smoked!!! 

    I think three years when I had uterine ablation to stop heaving periods, and was given "low dose" birth control pills to take every day for 60 days, and then had to have a blood transfusion because my iron was so low (I kept telling them I felt tired, like my iron was off, response was "but you look good, healthy, WRONG!!) anyway, I wonder about the transfusion as well as the pills.  And of course environmental factors that we can't always control.  I thought about cordless phones, and what side I put the phone on and how it matches the side of b/c.  I guess we try so hard to find out, but I think its just not a one answer fits all when it comes to b/c. Thanks for starting this thread, would love to know other's thinking on this.

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited January 2012

    I had no risk factors that I could have changed. No birth control pills, rarely drank, non smoker, breast fed two children, one born before age 30. Had annual mammos, went through menopause without HRT, generally had a very healthy diet. I am an Ashkenazi Jew which puts me at increased risk but I can't change that. I was a flight attendant and there is some evidence to suggest that puts one at increased risk but I got to travel the world and meet amazing people. I wouldn't change that as it was a very enriching life experience.

    Caryn

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited January 2012

    The only risk factor I had was my Grandma, who died of ovarian ca, and her 2 daughters (my aunts) who had bc. Wouldn't change that for the world.

    Minxie, there is so much we can't control. Enjoy your little guy, and don't waste your life on regrets.

    Leah

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  • Janeybw
    Janeybw Member Posts: 199
    edited January 2012
    The only risk factor I have is 20+ years on the pill.  Since I am 95% ER+ that is probably a contributing factor.  I also grew up in SoCal when it was much more polluted (my mom is being hard on herself for that).  I don't think I would have changed either thing.  The pill made my life much easier and predictable and I love being a Southern Californian.  I noticed that I had a tendency to stand in front of the microwave and hang on to the door with my left hand.  My cancer was in that left upper breast right by the micro door.  Who knows???  I know the cancer has made me slow down and take life in the moment more--no more being impatient with the microwave!Smile
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  • beacon800
    beacon800 Member Posts: 922
    edited January 2012

    If I could go back in time.....I think I wouldn't! 

    But I would definitely give advice to a person and this is what it would be:

    1. Limit your alcohol intake, as that seems a risk factor.
    2. Increase your exersize as this seems to improve every aspect of health.
    3. Don't be afraid of breast cancer.  Treatment is awesome now.
    4. Start screening early, keep at it, trust your body and intuition.  Don't let anyone tell you are too young or too fit or too healthy to get breast cancer.  The key to survival is finding it and we have good technology for finding it so use ALL of that technology.
    5. If you need a biopsy, be glad as it will not that  painful and might save your life.
    6. Don't be afraid of breast surgery.  It doesn't hurt that much and the expertise in the field is very high.
    7. Find the best doctors.  For every aspect of your care, from screening to full treatment, seek out the very best doctors. If you have doubts, get a second opinion.   It makes a huge difference.
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  • Denise2730
    Denise2730 Member Posts: 648
    edited January 2012

    I would have dealt with the hot flashes instead of going on Evamist which is topically applied estrogen.

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  • GR4C1E
    GR4C1E Member Posts: 159
    edited January 2012

    If I could change anything I would have chosen my friends much more carefully. 

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  • Susie123
    Susie123 Member Posts: 804
    edited January 2012

    Never drank, never smoked, no birth control pills..just the opposite. took fertility drugs in my 30's to get my 2 beautiful (and somewhat testy) teenage boys. One in college, one a junior in high school. Wouldn't change a thing even if I knew for sure it was the fertility drugs that gave it to me for my kids and my husband of 32 years are the best part of my life. :)

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  • Shrek4
    Shrek4 Member Posts: 1,822
    edited January 2012

    I wouldn't have to do changes either. No family history, healthy diet (organic as I lived in Europe and got foodstuffs from the farmer's market all the time), didn't drink more than any college girl and that was almost 30 years ago, was very active in terms of exercise, never been on birth control, had born a baby at the age of 25, wasn't menopausal when it happened. I did smoke but I wouldn't change that. Not sure if Tchernobyl would have done anything to me as it was so many years ago - I'm thinking if that would have been it it would have happened way before it did. Honestly I think it was the move from Europe to the US, with different type of food, and more pollutants that might have done it. If I would move still knowing what I know? of course. I wouldn't have met the love of my life otherwise. He is worth everything I've been through.

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