Finish my sentence... I'm sick and tired of...
Having one of those days... I'll start..
I'm sick and tired of:
- waking up every morning praying it will be a "good" day.
- well meaning people freely sharing my medical information with anyone who will listen (how about a little discretion people?? It's personal medical information here- not the weather!)
- this damn disease being the topic of every discussion.
- insurance companies that can't seem to process claims correctly the FIRST time through.
Ugh... have at it ladies... I know someone else is feeling frustrated today...
Comments
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friends who DON'T ask how I'm feeling emotionally but ask for detailed medical info;
family members who urge me to "keep fighting" and say "You'll be fine." (Are you oncologists on the side?)
tired of missing my old life and hair
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Every ache and pain instantly becoming "cancer" in my mind. So far I've decided I've had toe cancer, ear cancer, hair follical cancer.....
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People telling me that having a positive attitude is half the battle.
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Having LE..and knowing it will never be gone!! Thanks BC
Having no specific BC support groups close by and that meet after work.
My LE compression garments disappearing when I returned them for a bigger size....this is a month ago..grrr where is it!!
My referrals being put in wrong, so another month goes by before I get my scan...
Got area(s) of skin cancer - so surgery in January
Insurance co not paying for Oncotype test..
I could go on...and on..just the LE disappearing would make my day!!
Harry Potter where is your wand?
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Everyone telling me I look great. I'm sorry, but how am I supposed to look? (Just diagnosed end of Nov.,IBC, Chemo now; surgery, rads, etc, coming down the pike) First AC treatment done, seven to go. "Not dead Yet!" Hell, we're going snowboarding tomorrow if it doesn't rain.
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cancer. period.
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I can relate to many of these as well...
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Having people tell me that I "look great" and don't "look sick". WTH - I just decided to have both of my breasts removed, undergo having poison pumped into my body so that I could become a lving toxic site; and then radiate my chest for 30 sessions; all for the heck of it. I guess the $300 worth of Estee Lauder makeup I bought before shaving my head really works since I don't "look sick". I decided if I was going to bald then I would at least try to make my makeup look good. Honestly though how good can you look when your face is swelled to the shape of an egg and you're bald and flat-chested as a wall. Oh well.... I guess people mean well.
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Being tired. I feel like I'm the poster child for fatigue.
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Of so many things.
I think my main one is hearing someone say "oh I had a friend/sister/relative go through that. Keep on working and living a normal life and you'll be fine!" I want to say "Really? And they had the same type of cancer I do? The same stage, advancement, aggressiveness? The medicines were all the same and they had the same stresses outside of work?"
I'm tired of my boss, who's second wife died of lung cancer, asking me "Do you really have to take the whole day off for chemo? Couldn't you just have it done in the afternoon?" My company is too small for FMLA to apply and I pay for most of the mortgage.
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...being asked "how I feel." I'm getting microwaved daily by a machine that would put the lasers on a museum security system to shame. How do you think I feel?
...trying to figure out what the still-evasive "new normal" looks like.
...people disappearing from my life because of cancer.
...feeling like some surreal tattoo advertisement.
...being told to "be positive." When you've been carved like a turkey, then talk to me.
(I got a million of 'em...lol)
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...or rather, people disappearing from my life because I am dealing with cancer.
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It's damn frustrating briefing out every other person; about your disease, current words and then their humble words.
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Doctors nodding pleasantly at me without listening and doctors poo-pooing SEs.
Being bald. It was fun, but now it is getting old.
Everyone telling me I will be fine, because I look good and have a good attitude. I sure hope I will be fine, but I have no guarantees and my odds are not the greatest.
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All of the above and people saying "I'm sorry" It's not your fault, it's nobodys fault, please stop apologizing!!
Nel
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not being able to normally participate in my life...
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I'm sick and tired of...
BEING SICK AND TIRED!!!!!! It's hard planning anything when you're not sure how you are going to feel from day to day.
People saying within earshot "she looks good". How am I supposed to look? Just because I've had a DMX doesn't mean I'm dying tomorrow. Next year may be a crapshoot but other than foobs I hate and some dark circles under my eyes I look the same..
And Myopia I get it! I've had toe cancer too! (J/K)
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not being me!!! I want my hair and my life back
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Myopiawmn"Every ache and pain instantly becoming "cancer" in my mind. So far I've decided I've had toe cancer, ear cancer, hair follical cancer....."LOL, can't agree more:) Sternum, knees, throat, skin... But yet, I always shrugged off everything and know that from now on, need to pay attention to my body. So after chemo & BMX, I guess I'll be going to the doctor every week to get checked.
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--being told that losing my hair wasn't so bad because I look so good in hats. Well, when this is over they should all come to my backyard hat bonfire because I don't agree.
--being told that I don't look sick.
--being told that at least they caught it early.
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Reese- totally agree! I can't tell you how many times I have said that exact same thing!!
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IL- let me know when the bonfire is! I have a few things.. I.e. hats and wigs I'd like to toss in myself!
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...being scared
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-that whiny (cancer free) jerk at work who wanders in late complaining that she "just didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning." while I'm on time every day and still going thru chemo.
-not being able to smack that whiny little jerk upside her head, point to my chest and shout; "CANCER! WINNING!" without getting fired. Just ask Charlie Sheen how well letting his freak flag fly went over with his employer. I'll cut to the chase............not well.
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Bwa Gracie, I have also had moments when doing a Charlie Sheen would be so incredibly satisfying. Never thought of it quite in those terms, but you put it well.
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Here's another.. people who explain their disappearance by explaining "I didn't know what to say to you". I just want to scream "I'm the same person! Say whatever you would have said before" I do understand some are scared to say the wrong thing- but come on we are still the same people. Say you don't know what to say but for goodness sake say something!
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My best friend (also a hairdresser):
Said "Oh you're brave." in a surprised voice when I said I was going without a wig.
Same BF failing to turn up to my house to put my first hair dye post tx on.
BF and everyone else treating me in such away that I feel I'm a stranger to them. I'm me. I want you to be normal with me, so I can FEEL NORMAL MYSELF!!!!!!!!
Liz
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People insisting on coming into work sniffling, sneezing and coughing. STAY HOME if you are sick! Stop spreading germs and joking that "it's making its way through the office". Ugh!!
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MadisoninMd, I just step up close to them and whisper; "Are you sure you're alright, because that's how it started with me." Then I scratch my scalp so that my wig teeters from side to side and I walk off. They usually go directly home after that.
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Gracie, you are BAD! ROFLMAO
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