February 2012 MX

I've got a February 6 date.  I am finishing chemo on January 4 or 5.  I would like to wait together.

Dear Nel:



Me too! I'm very sad and upset about the surgery. I'm scared about not being able to be physically intimate with a man in the future. I'm trying to read all of the supportive things here in the forums and not see the situation as hopeless, although sometimes I do. I cannot go straight to reconstruction because of rads. I'm trying to think about the things that define me or that I want to define me other than my breasts. I've had a bumpy couple of years leading up to this and was trying to define myself on account of all of those issues--marital, friends and other relationships, son leaving home, father dying.

Oh, Nel, I am so with you!  Most of what you wrote could have been written by me.  I too was in the process of separation when this occurred.  I don't know what the future holds either--we have not talked about it since the diagnosis.  It's hard to be in this sort of "alone" but not really.  I have no hair either.  I have almost 100% decided on BMX rather than MX.  I can't go directly into reconstruction because of need for radiation.  Radiation then really limits my choices because it could cause problems with implants.  I may pass on reconstruction too.  I don't see myself having 8 hours of surgery and a long recuperation.  There is too much I need and want to do.  I have a big old birthday in the new year except I'll be 50. I'm worried though that my current state of mind is not the best one for making decisions about reconstruction.   

 I don't know what else to do at this point except to live each day as it comes.  I try to think about what I need to handle this day and this day only--not what's coming up next week etc.  Sometimes works and sometimes doesn't.  I've tried to figure out from a spiritual or religious sense what the plan is for my life and the answers are coming slowly.  I'm also trying to concentrate on not identifying with body parts, body image or appearance as what defines me and trying to define myself by other qualities such as giver/receiver of love and music.

Hi Guys,

Maybe I'm not completely inept.  I did manage to find you.  As I said on the other thread, my surgery is scheduled for Feb 1st.  I'm going to have a BMX (sounds like a bike race) with immediate Tram (sounds like a cable car..  This is begining to have a transportation theme..)  reconstruction.  Can't say it sounds like fun, but it will be good when it is done + about 6-8 weeks:>  I will be 49 in March and I'm fortunate enough to say my year hasn't been as rough as you all have had it.  I wish you both the best and look forward to having some partners in crime to comiserate with.  Sorry for the silliness.  I blame it on the night shift and a lack of sleep.

Carolyn

my surgery is scheduled for 2/1/12

not sure yet if I will have TE's placed. My appointment with the DIEP surgeon is on 1/26/12. I will find out then if I am a candidate and if I am I will have TE at the time of my mastectomy. If I am not a candidate I won't have reconstruction

Good luck to everyone

Will be scheduled for a double mastectomy in Feburary.  One is preventive.   Will be 6-12 months before have recon though since I smoke although will be quit by this Monday.  I vote for Tram and come out with them smaller.  A good C would be heaven since since 16/17 have been a D and then later DD/DDD.

I could have this done sooner but want my Son will be out of town for his Army Reserve time until 2/4.  Naturally I'd like him to be around for this but he's also a Medic/Nurse in the Army.  Poor kid, sucks to be him as an only child of a single parent at times like this.  Knew my Dad had to take care of his Mom as an only child and never intended to have only one specifically because of that.  My body had other plans though.

So, before surgery will enjoy relatives coming in town as we go and attend the Gasparilla Parade of Pirates here in Tampa.  Talked them into it for the past year; they book travel and we buy tickets to sit on the parade route; then I get diagnosed.  Oh well, we'll enjoy the time! At least will do a long weekend mini vaca in July though.

Ladies, I just wanted to offer some hugs and encouragement.  I had my BMX with reconstruction (TE's) last year on Jan 27th.  I just finished my last reconstructive surgery in December.  This time next year you will be through the worst of it and feeling so much better physically and emotionally.  I know it is a long, emotional, scary process, but you will get through it.  I just wanted to send cyber hugs! 

I just scheduled BMX with DIEP flap for 2/7.  Really crappy couple of years leading up to this and waiting for the final step in a divorce. 

Kind of nervous about the long duration of the surgery and don't like the idea of being in the hospital for several days....but I figure I'll be well drugged and very sore, so it's probably the best place for me.

I finally got a surgery date for my BMX for Feb 1st. Meet with plastic surgeon tomorrow to make final decision about what type of reconstruction...TEs with implants or DIEP. Since being diagnosed in Dec. I have read as much as I can to make informed decisions but it is difficult. Here's wishing all the February surgery folks good luck as we go along.

I am so sad after reading your posts that some of you have had/are having to deal with life's hardships like divorce while you are also having to deal with breast cancer, surgery, chemo,etc. I don't know why so many calamities hit us all at once. I too have bee dealing with way too much these last few years..multiple deaths in the family, then in May 2010 my best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer and one month later my husband was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer..the kind nonsmokers get. I helped my BFF thru her BMX and chemo and my husband thru his two lung surgeries. My husband has been on chemo for 15 mos. It has slowed the progression of his cancer but not stopped it. Then we got my "happy news" after a routine mammogram just before the holidays! It seemed like a bad joke! . I will never understand why bad things happen to good people. Some days feel overwhelming. ..so I don't take it one day at a time...sometimes it is one HOUR at a time! But we are all still here and we will get thru this! Hang in there everyone.

Sadie, you're right!  One of my Sisters said "body makeover! let's turn this into a positive!.  I already thought of it that way.  My breasts are not who I am and maybe I feel like I won't miss them so much because I'm single.  Who knows.  I'm a bit concerned that I'll feel a big sense of loss after but too bad.  It's the right choice for me. 

Smoke-free since 5:30pm on Friday.  Go figure...Friday the 13th is my quit date.  LOLOL

As the day of my surgery approaches ( 02/01/12 ) I can't help feeling more and more concerned that the pathology report after the surgery will show more than LCIS. Though I am not worried about the surgery, last night for the first time I found myself praying that there won't be anything worse. I know if there should be anything else, that I will deal with it just the same but I also know the wait will be awful. I guess once you start on this journey, everything is nerve racking as nothing is really certain and anything can happen. Is this common? Does anyone else feel the same way?

Be strong Nel and everyone else; we are all in this together

Thanks for posting the dates

Jocelynlally-Hope all goes well for you