Saying Thank You

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rachelvk
rachelvk Member Posts: 1,411
edited June 2014 in Who or What Inspires You?

I've seen a lot of posts here about the stupid things people say to us (whether or not they mean it to come across that way) or how friends and family sometimes let us down when we need them most. I'm relatively new to this whole thing - dx'd in August, surgery in Oct and staring down my first chemo tx next Tuesday - but so far in that time, I've remarkably found more positive responses and support than stupid comments or blank stares.

What amazed me the most was how many people sincerely asked how they could help - and followed through. Families at my synagogue stopped by with meals - I was set all the way through Thanksgiving - so that while my Mom was staying with me for two weeks after surgery, she could put all her effort into taking care of me instead of shopping and cooking. My co-workers and colleagues from other organizations I'm involved with also pitched in. Two women even agreed to drive me the hour to Philadelphia for doctor appointments.

Obviously, I'd rather not have gotten BC in the first place to have seen this generosity, but experiencing this type of genuine goodness was one of the few silver linings. To thank them, I took pictures of the flowers, cards and gift baskets and put together a personalized Thank You card. I'm writing them out now and look forward to sending them.

I just wanted to share that, and maybe start a discussion about the good people that we've met through our journeys. They're out there, and I think they occasionally deserve to be recognized. I know that I'm certainly hoping to take a greater interest in helping people in the future now that I've benefitted so much.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited December 2011

    Rachelvk, thank you for sharing your positive experiences, and what a lovely idea to make those personalized 'Thank You' cards to let your friends and family know what they have meant to you.

    Judith and the Mods

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  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 2,631
    edited December 2011

    Rachel - it is very uplifting to read your thread on positive reactions.  I  had some wonderful experiences too.  My congregation fixed dinner for me twice a week for the entire time I was going through chemo.  My dh and stepson took care of dinner the other nights.

    I found out real fast those people I could really count on and those that were not sincere.

    Strangers were so helpful but I also live in a great area where although I live in a city, it is a small town atmosphere.

    I am taking my positive experiences and giving back to others that are on this journey and even senior citizens that need some additional help.  I would have to say that getting cancer made me more of a compassionate person towards other human beings.

    Thanks for starting this thread and I look forward to reading more responses.

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited December 2011

    Rachelvk - what a great idea to post the positive experiences. Much more uplifting. I have had more pleasant experiences than bad ones and like to focus on those. I have a terrific family who is always there and willing to do whatever necessary to help out.

    I'd like to share an uplifting story about a cancer patient I know. He is originally from the small town where I live but currently lives in a town not far away. His condition has left him unable to work, he has no other income and his wife has taken a leave from work to care for him. The people of the town where he grew up got together and held a fundraiser for him and his family and collectively raised over $5,000.00. This money was greatly needed to pay off outstanding bills including the mortgage pymt. (they were close to losing their house).

    It just melts my heart to know that there still is such wonderful people around willing to step up to the plate. I love being from a small town where caring is abundant.

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  • rachelvk
    rachelvk Member Posts: 1,411
    edited December 2011

    I have an addition I wanted to note - this past Monday, I had to make 2 trips to the ER for different reasons, but based on my low red/white blood counts from my first chemo treatment. Both times, my neighbor was amazing and took me - even when my first call came in to her at 4:30 am. My boyfriend met me at the ER the second time to take me home (he lives an hour away), and my neighbor made sure to stay until he arrived. There are special people out there.

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  • mpeaches
    mpeaches Member Posts: 155
    edited December 2011

    Rachelvk - I have been overwhelmed by generosity - co-workers, friends, and people I've never actually met that I'm friends with on Facebook.  Cards, prayers, gift cards, offers to drive (all my treatment is 90 minutes from home), it's just been amazing.  In fact, the times I've cried on this journey have almost all been associated with peoples goodness.

    I hope your journey is as good as it can be, 

    Purrs,

    Jenn

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  • Mollydog
    Mollydog Member Posts: 93
    edited December 2011

    Thank you, Rachelvk, for your post.  I am one of those that have dwelled a little too much on what people didn't do for me during this whole debacle.  But I have to say for the people that went above and beyond to show they cared about what I was going thru, I made sure I thanked them -- either in writing or in person.  There was my brother who drove from Southern California with his wife just to see me before my mastectomy.  This brother also went to my first chemo treatment with me and my husband.  He also called everyday I was in the hospital with the DIEP flap surgery.  There was my nephew, a cancer survivor himself, who called all the time, even during 100 hour shifts of his internal medicine residency.  There was my good friend here in town who was with me all the way.  And a young work friend who stood by me and grasped everything I was going thru.  These people I thanked, usually choked up trying to hold back tears of appreciation.

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited December 2011

    Rachel,

    Way to go on this topic. I too have been amazed by the kindness and generosity of friends, family and my school community. The parents of my students set up a meal delivery schedule, daughters, SIL, SIL to be took care of things around my house. One of my daughter's co-workers, came over the day after Thanksgiving and installed a new kitchen faucet late in the evening. I could go on and on about how wonderful people have been. Thank you for starting this thread.

    Caryn

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited January 2012

    Call me Pollyanna, but I felt this thread needed more attention. Many thanks to all of you on bco who have been so supportive of my wild ride with bc in 2011. From bmx , to a punctured lung to the express train from stage II to stage IV, I thank you all. This would have been impossibly painful without you. Happy 2012,

    Caryn

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  • rachelvk
    rachelvk Member Posts: 1,411
    edited January 2012

    Thanks Caryn. This board has been a great support for me, too. Wishing you a fantastic 2012 and beyond.

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited January 2012

    I was a bit worried about how the household would manage as I recovered from my surgery. However, my husband and teenage son did an absolutely wonderful job with meals, laundry, dishes etc. I also have a large family which many of them live close by and there was usually at least one of them in for a visit each day in the weeks that followed. And to date family and friends continue to show tremendous support and encouragement.

    Wishing everyone great health, happiness and love for 2012 and many years to follow.

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  • rachelvk
    rachelvk Member Posts: 1,411
    edited January 2014

    Wow - it's more than 2 years since I posted this! I'm glad to report that I'm celebrating my 3rd post-dx birthday this week (I'm calling it my '+3') and had a fantastic party today with so many of the people who supported me during my treatment. I'm at a point now where I'm really feeling that so much of what I went through is behind me. It's still there, in the back of my mind, but having the support of some great family and friends has helped a lot.

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