mum diagnosed

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mebiscuitsinmebrew
mebiscuitsinmebrew Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hi everyone,

 not really sure where to start or what to say. I'm a bit emotional right now. My mum is nearly 70 and diagnosed with bc last month. She's had a lumpectomy and seems to be recovering well. I've moved back in with her and dad so I can keep her spirits up and help with the cooking and cleaning. 

We went to the drs a few days ago and have found out it's stage 3 aggressive bc and she will need chemo. My mother is the most wonderful woman and has always been our rock. She's the one we turn to to make everything better when things go wrong and I adore her. 

I think right now everything is new and scary and I'm staying positive and keeping mums spirits up as well but I'm not sure what happened today, I just broke down. I've been angry and just had an arguement with my dad over peeling potatoes of all things! lol.

I've just taken myself off to my room to have a cry as I won't do that in front of my mum. She needs me now and it's our turn to look after her. But I'm so emotional right now. I'm angry, and feeling guilty that I lost my temper, I don't like this moment of weakness either. 

There's no real point to this post I guess, just needed to vent.

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  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited January 2012

    I think it would help if you ask your doctor Rx an anti-depressant. Ativan really helped me.

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  • Margi1959
    Margi1959 Member Posts: 178
    edited January 2012

    Hugs to you, darlin - it's a very scary journey and you have every right to feel angry, hurt, confused, helpless, etc.  I think caregivers go through a huge range of emotions.  Your best bet is to let your mum lead - if she feels like talking, that's the time for you to listen.  If she feels confused, that's your time to do some research.  If she feels scared, that's your time to comfort.  If she feels like dancing - then, by all means dance with her and savour every moment!  You CAN do this, I promise. 

    Hang in there and if you ever need to talk, please feel free.  

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  • mebiscuitsinmebrew
    mebiscuitsinmebrew Member Posts: 2
    edited January 2012

    thank you both. BarbaraA, I'll definitely keep that in mind and will go to my drs if things get too much. This was the first wobbly moment I'd had, other than bursting into tears when my mum first told me she found a lump. I don't know how but i just KNEW it was cancer.

     Since then I've been keeping my wobbly moments to myself, allowing myself the occassional cry in the shower before putting on my happy, positive and strong face in front of mum. 

    Margi, thank you for your advice and kind words. It means a lot to me and also relieved that the mix of emotions is normal. At the moment my mum comes first so I will definitely let her take the lead. 

    I'm the youngest out of 5 kids (i'm 27) so I've always been a bit shielded and protected. My mum made sure I had the happiest of childhoods even protecting me from my dads drinking problems after my brother died. So now it's our turn to look after her I just wanted to make sure I'm doing the right things. Even if that does mean forcing my terrible cooking upon them :)

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  • Margi1959
    Margi1959 Member Posts: 178
    edited January 2012

    LOL I'm sure your mum loves your cooking, honey!  You're doing a great job!  <3

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