The Flat Look Vs Prosthesis (with Pics)

It's always a pleasure to see this inspiring thread surface again, with its encouraging and empowering messages about making choices.

Congratulations, Djustme!

Judith and the Mods

I have purchased a couple of patterned tops that have a drapped neckline, and a built in solid coloured cami underneath at the neckline (Walmart $12). Another of my purchases includes a loose printed t-shirt material tops that have a self scarf which is sewed to hang down on the left side and hides my missing left breast. I bought one with purple pattern and one with blue pattern (sears).  These tops are loose in the chest area but semi fitted at the waist so they make you are very feminine. There are also lots of tops with gathers at the neck, but after trying on dozens, it is clear you have to chose fabrics that don't cling to the chest. Any patterned top with a jacket also works.

Just wanted to tell you thanks for the pictures. You look great, then and at the walk. 

You look beautiful in all the pictures!

Great shots Barbara!! I`m sure they will help more women see how little a difference it really does make just to wear a bra!!

Momine: I am very fond of my stripey sweaters as well.  They are St. Johns Bay from JC Penney. Very reasonably priced when on sale.  They come in several colors of stripes and also a good variety of solids.  I find them very comfortable to wear even with my sensitive skin.  

Barbe:  You are right, it is subtle and really most people are too much off in their own world to notice such things or care one way or the other if they do.  For my part, I am playing at the moment.  The initial thought was that it would really broaden my wardrobe choices to include fitted darted clothes which are really favorites for me. While I am happy with pieces that create a flat look or even an illusion of a bust, I am not so happy with seriously fitted darted blouses that tend to cave in.  I am kind of seeing it as a best of both worlds.   I did specifically pick a form size that was not too ridiculously small for my frame and yet small enough to be subtle.  Also minimizes the weight.  As much as it is subtle it makes an enormous difference in tailored clothes. 

There is another odd thing going on that I will just have to wait and see how it shakes out.  When I had to wear the silicone pad and compression wrap after The Mutants removal, I noticed that the usual nerve damage issues on the right had nearly disappeared. Once I was fully healed and the wraps were gone, it started coming back, not as bad as before but bad enough.  Oddly it seems the pressure of the forms hits in just the right way to simulate the same relief as the pad and compression wrap. Believe me, while I like to look good, I am first and foremost all about comfort.  If the forms and the really comfy bra continue to give relief, I may wear them more than originally planned.  If they become uncomfortable, I will gladly let them collect dust on the shelf.  As I live in a hot climate, it may also turn into a seasonal thing, only time will tell.

I did have a revelation the last week or two.  I have decided that I will never leave the house without girls, be they foobs that all can see or the best two out there that only I can see in my mind's eye.   Whichever ones, I will be wearing them proudly. 

Barbara

These photos are incredible, thank you so much Ladies for posting these pics!! You look wonderful and it all calms my mind.

I may even become brave enough to try stripes! I think they really pull your eye up into the stripe and your eye never sees the "missing breasts". Awesome!

Barbe:  To directly answer your question, I had several follow-ups with the BS but other than that nothing. Remember I had a broken hand/wrist at the same time and the hematoma that took many months to fully resolve.  I was of course sent to the oncologist, but outside of that, I had no LE evaluations, no physical therapy, nothing.  I was left to my own devices but then being inclined to less is more in many medical situations, I was happy with that.

Barbara

Great post Linda!  I've had no recon and I never wear my pros.  I always hated my boobs....now I know why, THEY WERE TRYING TO KILL ME!   Actually, they were big, didn't fit the rest of my body and prevented me from wearing cute things (buttons gapped, etc)  I now wear all the cute things I can and never wear my pros.  I'm sure some folks look and wonder what is wrong with her but I don't care.  I throw a tank top on under my shirt and I'm out the door and comfortable.  I'm probably different but I feel more confident without my boobs in a way.  I'm more confident in wearing certain things and think I look better in them than I did when I had boobs, if that makes sense.  I was always self-conscious of my old girls and tried to hide them, I wore minimizer bra's so I could fit into to things and I hated how creepy men looked at them before looking at me.  But not anymore...they look and you can see the confused, WTH! look on their face....hahahaha!  Love all the pics ladies. 

Hey Girls, Linda I can't thank you enough for posting pics.Really help me!
I had my Rt mastectomy Jan 29 2010 with reconstruction with TE,But March 9,2010 due to infection lost the TE & had a Pot hole, I was so Upset about be lopsided & then May 2011 ,Breast Cancer visited me again to left Breast, so I then got the double I wanted from the Beginning( 1st suregon talk me out of it) Anyway I have decided against any reconstruction & actually feel comfortable in my Matching Even Flat Set.
I don't wear my Prosthesis much & don't esp @ work,Because I wear scrubs, so I just wear an Under shirt & I am comfort in my own skin now. But the other day, this co-worker, ask me why i didn't wear them?? I said because it more comfortable & it's not that noticable. She laugh & said yes it is, there flat & then there flat. I change the subjact & just wanted to cry, But didn't want her to know it upset me. I still don't wear them under my scrubs,Not going let her get to me.
I am glad to know you all look so good ,Thanks for sharing pictures!
Have a Great weekend {{{{hugs}}}} Gina

If men had to rope up and tie down their testicles every day, you`d see a big change in bras!

Flat is BEAUTIFUL!  I am 5'10  140 lbs...and had my PS put in 150cc foobs.

I love it.  Heck, he could have gone 125 and I'd have been just as happy

Flat is freedom!

Good grief, Regina, what a freakin' bitch. I am so sorry. It really is too bad if your BC makes her uncomfortable, and it most certainly is not your problem. Maybe get a really tight and tiny tee and wear it around her, just to rub her nose in it.

Regina:  I am so sorry this happened to you.  Sooner or later, we will probably all run into the just plain mean idiot.  Apparently you found yours.  People like her really are the exception and not the norm.  My idiot who questioned the BMX, who seemed more concerned about boobs than my life, was my ex-husband.  Like it would be better to be a good looking corpse.  Made me grateful he was an ex.  Even he is not that big an idiot.  After a week or so to think it over, he came to realize that upright and doing well trumped boobs.

How do WE treat others?  I ask because if I see for instance a war veteran with missing limb(s), that I know sometimes wear prosthetics and sometimes or even mostly doesn't, I do not feel compelled to ask them why they don't wear them.  It just doesn't occur to me that I need to get in the middle of how they handle that part of their life, and even in the conversation in my own head just presume it is likely about comfort.  Whenever I see people with whatever disabilities or challenges, if I feel compelled, I feel compelled to look them in their face, give them my biggest smile, and say Good Morning.

When I go flat, it is with confidence but not defiance.  I am not looking to shock people or for some kind of confrontation.  I am certainly not daring them to question me.  When I say people generally don't notice at all or if they do it is of no consequence to them I mean it.   That really has been my experience over now some 20 months.

Barbara 

BTW, the underlying purpose of my last post was to let those of you thinking about maybe going flat or trying it out, to realize that Regina's experience with a co-worker was an anomaly and not what you are likely to encounter.  Even the fashion police, Stacy and Clinton, from What Not To Wear, were happy to help a no reconstruction no prosthesis survivor, build a new wardrobe around flat using some of the same techniques we all use.  They fully embraced her decision to go flat and worked with it.

I don't care whether anybody decides to wear forms always, sometimes, or never.  What I do care about and hope for all of us is that decision on any given day is never based on fear or anxiety and that it is no more earth shattering than what color to wear.

Barbara