Hair Hair Hair - Another question
Comments
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I never got any mean comments, actually just really nice ones. The only thing I notices is when I was bald, wearing a scarf some people (mostly women) in my building ( live in high-rise) sort of ignored me in the elevator. I could tell they were uncomfortable and didn't know what to say. Once I went topless they were all chatty with me about how they loved my short hair.
It was fun when I posted pictures from my visit with my parents and old friends from high school on facebook at the end of August. So many people on facebook did not know anything about my diagnosis. I was getting the "love the pixie… did you decide to go short for the summer?" comments. No one seemed to notice the giant booby prizes I now have, or at least no one said anything.

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I have found that sometimes people say things that get under my skin, but it not meant to be mean. I was at a friends cookie exchange a week ago and when I walked into the kitchen she said "doesn't Margie's wig look great" there were a bunch of women there and I only knew about 1/2 of them. This is the same friend that bugged me to see my head when I lost my hair and pushed to see my incisions after my BMX. Oh well you can't control peoples stupid comments.
I am 17 week post chemo and go topless most of the time now. I have 1/2 inch of hair all over my head. I will be wearing a wig New Year's Eve but otherwise the wigs are in the past for me.
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I tend to assume that people always mean well by their comments (until they prove otherwise). So a comment like "your wig looks great" or "you look really good", even when I felt like crap, I interpreted as a compliment given out of love and support. I know sometimes people take that as a back-handed compliment, but I never think of it like that. I think the best compliment I received was from the doctor doing a fellowship with my plastic surgeon who said that she had just finished doing a fellowship in medical oncology and she was shocked at how good I looked compared to the patients she had observed in the middle of chemo.
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LuvRVing, I agree with you, I tend to think people mean well. Even my dear old Poppop didn't mean to hurt my feelings. He'd be devasted if he ever understood just how deeply his opinion hurt. I guess I'm just not sure why he felt the need to express his opinion when I didn't ask for it. I have been getting so much support and tons of compliments, so I was really taken back when he said he didn't like my hair and was glad it was from Cancer and not because I wanted it.
Ladies, while I'm sorry you are receiving the strange & rude comments from family members too, I feel a little better knowing I'm not alone.
AND I'm very proud of all of us.
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I just have to echo SpecialK. Since breast cancer, my father-in-law has said some horribly insensitive things. I took it personally but have come to realize that he puts his foot in his mouth all the time now and doesn't seem to know it or care.
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mkw1...Nioxin has a component in it to make the blood rush to the surface of your scalp.
If you get drops on the forehead or on your face you'll notice a red spot for a while till it fades. The blood that comes to the surface encourages the hair to grow.So you may have a couple of long hairs growing out of your cheek.......just kidding. But that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I think we have to get a hard core surrounding us when it comes to dumb comments. Like the answer should be "who died and made you king or queen"?
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I started using the Ovation cell therapy as soon as I finished chemo. Don't know if it helped or not, as I have nothing to compare to. But my hair came back very thick and seems to be growing at a good pace. And it smells good too!
Kathy
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mkw1 - I've been using Nioxon, I like it but I do notice a nice peach fuzz growing on my face. LOL (I know its from Chemo)
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I'm still peachy from chemo.
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If it wasn't for this thread I probably would have freaked when I noticed it! How long does the peach fuzz last?
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Good question considering my last chemo was 1.19.2011! It's almost a year already!
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artsee that is sooo funny....really? My daughter bought me a bottle of the nioxin shampoo for Christmas. I am ten months out and have a really good growth going on, almost as long as Carrols and very thick. I was using the biotin shampoo, but now will try the nioxin.
Hard to beleive at the end of Feb , I will be able to say "I am one year out from chemo" seems like yesterday.
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I am about 8 weeks since my last chemo. I have a halo of hair on my head. There is also a hairline that I can really see. Will post pictures beginning Jan.
Keep posting your pictures ladies. They give us all so much to look forward too.
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I can say that my mom was not trying to be insensitive or mean.. she really loved my wig and thinks I look great... but I think its not appropriate to say it out loud to my other family members.. It would be like saying to a group of people after someone gets a boob job, "Hey everyone, doesn't so and so's boobs look hot?" I am sure it would be meant as a compliment, but its not appropriate, and very awkward. The only other comment I got from someone that was a little off was "why would you get a mastectomy? You'll have all those scars."... hmmmm.. just stupid is all I can say. EVERYONE else has been super kind and supportive.
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I agree that most dumb comments come from trying to empathize. It's how humans connect.
But the dumb comment thread is pretty amusing.
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it is hard to remember how long the peach fuzz lasts, my last chemo was Jan 13th. That i can remember very easy! I think maybe a month or so, and once it starts to grow it comes in really fast and it's really hard to control. Be careful what you wish for.
I can't beleive how fast this year went by. Last year (in treatment) took forever. Happy New Year!!!Pam
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Every time she sees me wearing my wig, my mother-in-law says something about it. It's always something pleasant such as: "I like your wig", "Your wig looks nice", etc. Buuuuut, it's just one more reminder that it is not my OWN hair. I'd just as soon she not say anything...
On a happier note, I am starting to see some nice dark hair coming in underneath my chemo white hair. It is not growing evenly by any means - still quite thin and barely there in the front, and being a natural redhead, I'd prefer a more auburn color, but at this point, I'm not complaining. MY HAIR IS GROWING BACK!!!! YIPPEEE!!!!!
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MizMarie: don't despair! After the white peach fuzz, mine started growing back in the balding male style...more around the sides and back, thinner on the top. I am 13 weeks PFC and it is definitely thickening up top just in the last week or so. Hang in there.
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MizMarie.. I agree.. I would rather they would have said nothing. They think they are being supportive, but that is not how it feels... When I had my wig, I just wanted to be normal, not reminded that I was wearing a wig...
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MizMarie, I am right there with you. At first the fuzz on my head looked gray, but it now filling in slowly but surely and I am seeing some darker color. 10.5 wks pfc.
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Tuesday was 13 weeks PFC for me and my hair is a dull drab grey/taupe. I really hope my natural hair color comes back. I know if I trim the white ends off it would help but I just don't have enough to spare.
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mkw, I have just been using the shower soap on my bald and semibald head.
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Does anyone know which of the Nioxin products is the best? There are numbered 1,2,3, etc. I have started with the 3, but was just curious if one was any better than the other.
Thanks,
Denise
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Denise, I think your supposed to use the one best suited for your hair type but since we don't have any hair to begin with I'm not sure, choose by the type of hair you used to have.
A friend of mine who bought it for me went to Sally's Beauty and asked the sales help which one to use and they have her #1, for fine hair. I've never had fine hair but I'm still using it.
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mccrimmon324, thank you so much. I just got confused trying to decide which to buy.
dday
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Hate to throw a damper on the Nioxin shampoo products but there are some ingredients that may not be good for BC ladies. There are definitely parabens in it and it rates more than moderate risk on the Skin Deep site. There are a number of BC specific sites that do not endorse its use for us.
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So, I just got a phone call from our public affairs officer for the medical center saying he needs to take my photograph for our lobby-WHAT?!? I work for a Veterans hospital and apparently some mandate came out today from on high that they must post a photograph of the designated POW coordinator (me) in the lobby so that every visiting veteran and family will know who I am. I almost had a heart attack. My hair is at a very strange, unmanageable length-I'm completely unhappy with it right now and I'm trying to just tolerate it while it grows out. And now it will be immortalized in the hospital lobby:( Oh well, I asked him to hold off for a week while I figure out what to do with myself. Guess I better make a hair appt. It's almost funny...almost....
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dragonfly - I feel ya on the weird 'do. We went for a ride in the convertible on Christmas Day, I had my hair plastered down on the sides, kind of spiky on the top. When we arrived I looked like a chia pet. Had to make a quick detour to the powder room to re-slick. I would recommend a healthy dose of pomade or gel and stick the sides down big time and then run your hands around in the top to give it some volume. That seems to be all I can do with mine at the moment. I guess the alternative would be a hat that still shows your face?
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MizMarie, I couldn't cope with those comments from your MIL. If I were in your place I would avoid her.
Some of the comments from family and friends posted here are really upsetting. I guess people don't know what to say, feel they have to say something, and just say the wrong thing. -
On TC my hair started growing in (*baby hair first) 2 weeks after the last treatment...but to get real hair coating the head took 1 month longer. Then again they lowered my chemo dose one notch because I had severe neutropenia. IT DOES GROW. It helps to eat well and destress. I read alot of Buddhist philosophy. MY hair is now about 2 inches long. Grayer but thicker. Trade off.
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