2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS
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ravdeb,
CONGRATS ON FINISHING CHEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I promise that in the next couple of weeks, you will feel your energy come back and you'll be amazed at how tired you really were during chemo. It's the greatest feeling. Rads is tiring, but nowhere like chemo. I hope you plan to celebrate this amazing milestone. Remember when we were all terrified to start?
I went scarfless last night officially....not too much on my head, but i'm tired of scarves and want to feel done. i'm going to try it at work and if i get through today, i'm done for good
normal. who the hell knows what normal is? it definitely isn't what it was before. i keep struggling with that in therapy and my therapist finally said, "you will never have the normalcy you had before. you're creating a new normalcy for yourself. the biggest thing that will make you feel normal now is when you stop feeling like you're in a combat zone and finally realize you don't have to fight anymore."
it's true for me...the days i feel normal are the days when i'm relaxed and really feel like i'm not in crisis mode anymore. it's hard to get out of that mode when we've been in it for so long.
RAVDEB....ENJOY THIS MILESTONE...IT'S THE BEST
Love,
Amy -
YAY!!!! RAVDEB!!! Congratulations on your last chemo. You will start to feel so much better now!
It's funny it seems that everyone worries about what normal is after they finish chemo. I guess we are too busy fighting during chemo to think about it. We definitely can't go back to what normal used to be, but I think my new normal is going to be better. I am definitely more patient, more compationate toward others, especially those with a disabliity or illness and I love my friends & family so much more now. Each day is a treasure! I know you will find the same.
Happy Friday everyone! -
Thanks Amy!
My girlfriend and I are giving a little party at her house tonight and it's mostly for me finishing my chemo! so, yes, I am CELELBRATING as I'm so glad to have finished this part of the fight!
I agree with your therapist that we have started a new normal as I'm definitely not the same person I was before the day I learned I had cancer. Cancer is now a part of my life, and always will be. I remember my girlfriend who was diagnosed with melanoma, telling me that. She has thankfully never had to have chemo or rads but does get regular checkups all the time, gets spots removed and has to go through that waiting game, and this will be for the rest of her life.
I'm sure that some of my past "normal" will return once I'm done with rads and feeling stronger. At least I hope so. I know that one norm will return this summer when all treatments are over and that is drinking margaritas and my white wine!!! I stopped that while on treatments but am looking forward to partying again.
Thanks Amy for your wonderful note and your perspective on things. You have a wonderful supportive way about you that I truly appreciate. And..congrats on the scarflessness!! I am going to do that as soon as I can. I figure..people are looking at me with my scarf so....what the heck. Just have to convince my 16 year old that this it the way it's going to be! And I may get some really cute cap for my walks outside in the sun.
So, enjoy YOUR milestone of scarflessness (new word!).
And again..thanks Amy!!!
ravdeb -
Congrats Ravdeb!!:)
Normal...I can't wait to stop feeling so edgy and bitchy. I have been so impatient with my kids so I'm feeling a lot of guilt right now. My 9 year old suffered brain damage due to a seizure disorder she had as an infant so she looks like a normal 9 year old but emotionally and socially she's at around a 3-4 year old level.
I have been so MEAN on Taxol! UGH! She doesn't handle change or excitement well...grandparents are coming today so she was an absolute booger this morning. Why can't I sit back, take a deep breath, realize the underlying issue at hand and handle things a little better???!!!
Ok...off to pick up my inlaws. My daughter and my mother-in-law have a very special bond so I'm looking forward to her coming as much as my daughter is. -
Thanks Rosemarie!
That Taxol makes me very emotional too and I'm very touchy with everybody. It's not easy to take that breath and cool down. Remember that it's not YOU but the poisons of the chemo that are doing that. Once you are done and get rid of that all, you will lose that frustration, I hope. At least that is what I'm hoping for myself!
I have some guilt trips about how I talk to my 16 year old and things I'm NOT doing that I would have normally done with him had I not been feeling so lousy. I'm hoping all this will pass!
Take care and hope that your time with the mother in law is a good one for all!
I'm going now to make something to bring to a party to celebrate finishing chemo! I have a great group of supportive friends who have been there for me throughout this entire journey. I feel very lucky.
ravdeb -
Ravedeb: wonderful to hear that you've had the last Taxol. I also had a period of irritability and depression off and on, but it has been getting better. I hope the aches and pains that you've had will soon belong gone. We can be "twins" sort of because I also have white, downy hair coming in. I am not yet brave enough to go "topless" (without a head covering) in public, but soon, soon. Have a fun party!
Amy: you husband is a wonder. I know that you cherish him as he does you. You two are lucky and blessed!
Paula: good to see you posting back here. I was wondering about you.
Graycie: No, I'm not getting paid for the research, but I am glad to do it. It is something I think I should do if I can, like donating blood. It is for the greater good. The device that I have to wear is like a wristwatch, in fact it does tell the time, so it is really no bother.
I am beginning to have some aches in the armpit area on the side that is getting radiation. It is not bad enough to be agonizing, but just enough to be annoying and bothersome. I learned that the reason for the x-rays they took was to see if the radiation field was including some lymph nodes that lie just above the chest wall. They want to be sure those nodes are getting the treatment. According to the techs, "everything looks fine."
Hope everyone has a good weekend of peace, freedom from discomfort, lots of rest and enjoyment. -
RAVDEB CONGRATS!
Finally! I'm sooooooooooooooooooooo happy for you!
Laura -
I am planning to have a drink at a St. Patty's celebration tonight. I also have not been drinking at all while in treatment and I actually have kind of decided to stop drinking since I read that consuming more than one drink per day can raise the chance of re-occurrance by 30%. This scared me, even tho, I never drink one drink a day.
I guess my plan is going to be to have a drink periodically, especially for special occasions.
What do you all think? -
I think it is just Rosemarie and me left to finish.
I think I have picked up a bug. I threw up twice last night and have had diarrhea all day today. I have spent the day on the couch as life goes on around me. i have no appetite and feel icky. Luckily no temp so have been drinking plenty and resting. Will likely pass...
Amy you sound happy I am glad you have found this new space.
For those with Irish ancestry Top of the Mornin to YOU!Erin GO Bracgh!
Fists up! -
Ok, here is what I look like now...I went to work like this! I'm a little shocked after taking the picture, but I'm over the scarves, so who cares
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Woo-hoo ravdeb!!! Pretty soon you will be sipping margaritas under that warm beautiful sun. Sure wish we could join you sitting by the Mediterreanean or the Sea of Gallilee ..... what a dream!
Rosemarie, thankfully, I only have one child. And I go to work everyday where you are pretty much 'forced' to be in control of yourself, so when I drive I have loud music for the ride home. It seems my 'demons' have worked themselves out and I get to pick up little girl and enjoy the rest of the evening ..... On chemo days, my dad is around so he takes care of her so I can be in my room and just tend to myself.
Tracy, I hope my new normal is better, too! -
Amy, love the new photo!! You look great without a scarf!!
Marymelodi, I have technically one more chemo to go!! Then its only Herceptin for 90 minutes every 3 weeks. Who else has to do that?? -
Terynsmom, I am on Herceptin too. Have had third dose already and plan to do at least one year.
Feeling better today. Off to shop for sisters 40 birthday.
Amy I am proud of you, I think I will lose my wig when I go back to work too. Right now I wear it in public, keeeps the questions down. Once back to work everyone knows anyway so may as well have the chemo crew.
Marymelodi hope the pain in your arm settles.
Ravdeb ,did you celebrate as planned your end to chemo?
Rosemarie my 12 your old has special needs and a seizure disorder too. He is and extra challenge but one of the sweetest people you will ever meet. He is my biggest worry if things do not go well in the future...
Fists up! -
Amy,
You look great in your picture. You have such a pretty face nobody will notice how much hair you have. As long as the weather is warm I wouldn't worry about wearing something on your head. I could never get away with that in NY, way too cold plus I am old so I don't look too good without my hair.
Hats Off to you....
Gracyie.. -
a woman today at the mall came up to me and said she always wanted to get a "cut" like mine, but didn't feel she could pull it off. she said that i could pull it off easily. yeah...i went and requested this hairdo!
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Well, in the spirit of Amy, I took off my wig at work and showed them my hair growth. I have been secretly worried it would grow in gray. But after close examination they said it's blonde. My hair is like baby's hair.
The guys have always called me Red as a nickname and now they are wondering what they will call me. I assured them that my research shows eventually, my hair will return to normal.
Amy, I can't yet go scarfless or wigless but you sure lok beautiful and are inspiring. -
wow Ladies...so many nice things here!
First of all, thanks to all...I am done with chemo and yes, I DID celebrate! We had a wonderful party with friends and it was great! Had my first drink since chemo started!!!
Amy...you look sooooooooo cute! Congrats on going "topless"!!!
Graycie...you are NOT old!
Terynsmom...yep! I'm going to be sipping drinks only in the States!!!! This summer!!! Can't wait!
Tracy...I agree with you, by the way, about drinking. I used to drink a couple of glasses of white wine on Fri. evenings (well, maybe more than a couple of glasses) but I never really drank every day. I plan to watch how much I drink even though I do love drinking. My drinking this summer will be now and then with my friend...you know...siting by the lake with a glass of wine, or in a bar with dinner and something fun to drink. I haven't done any of that since I started chemo and I do enjoy it.
So...I must get brave and go topless. My hair is soooo thin on top and much longer but not fuller, on back and sides and it seems to be curly but it's all white...very white, I mean like sooooooooooo white! I think I'm more embarassed because it's white than because it's so short!
amy..by the way...you really do look chic. There is a young woman on our street who has always worn her hair like that. I've never seen her any other way!
ravdeb -
OMG Ravdeb, I totally forgot to congratulate you on finishing your chemo. CONGRATULATIONS! I bet you are happy, I remember I was. It will be a breeze for you now, you are over the hard part. I am glad that you had a fun party....When do you start radiation?
Graycie -
Amy -
You look great!
I'm going to post a bald shot soon - I feel it's something I have to do - for psychological reasons.
Hope you are all having a great weekend!
Laura -
Laura, wasn't there a site for hosting pics that was real quick and easy? Not photobucket ...... this site you just uploaded your pic and then posted the link.
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Amy! You are beautiful!
Ravdeb - my hair is just starting to grow back, but it is growing on the top and back, nothing on the sides and toward the front on the top yet. I sure hope I don't have a receeding hairline like my dad and my son! It is growing back light brown which is pretty much my normal color. I can't tell if there is any grey mixed in but there probably will be. It is going to be a couple of months at least before I will be comfortable topless.
Graycie! You are NOT old and your picture is beautiful.
Laura - I am having trouble with bald shots, so far I have not allowed my pic to be taken. Maybe I should reconsider too. It might be something that I wished I would have done.
Hope everyone has a great Sunday! I am off to the Outlet Malls shopping with my hubby. He has to go to India for 3 weeks on business and needs some new clothes!
Love ya all! -
India? Wow, what an adventure. What is he going to bring back for you? Maybe some beautiful saris or a scarf (for your neck or use as a belt, not for your head!!)
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Here's a bald pic of me from my birthday in December just to motivate anyone to post theirs...it can't look any funnier than this My husband said I looked like a psychotic clown or something! Just to make you all laugh. For me, taking pictures of my head and making fun of it was my way to own it all...to take control of all the scariness and sadness being bald held for me...it worked too and now I look back on these pictures and I'm proud.
love,
amy
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Terynsmom! I had not tought about making requests for presents from Inida! Now I will have to be thinking and make a list! I don't think my hubby is very excited about going. He has to get a bunch of shots and they told him to make sure to put the mosquito repellant on before he exits the plane because the airport is full of mosquitos. He also is not very adventurous when it comes to eating. 3 weeks of Indian food is going to be a bit much for him.
I am not used to being home alone for that long, so you all are going to have to keep me company! -
Terynsmom -
I wish I could help you, but I don't know how to include pics here. See my HELP message below.
HELP!!!
MaryAnne - Amy
Can you please let us know how to place a photo within a reply (like you both have done)? Or let us know where to go to learn how to do it?
TracySeattle -
You should reconsider the bald photo thing. It takes a while to get used to looking at yourself bald in photos - but after a while it actually feels somewhat liberating! Go for it, if I can do it so can you. Today, I had my DH do a photoshoot. I felt so bad because I kept having him take more shots, in different areas of the house, with sun light, without sunlight, sitting, standing, etc. He was such a sweetheart and so patient - I know he understood how difficult it was for me. But after I looked at the photos - I was really happy that I did it! Go for it, Tracy!
Laura -
Picture of me on hike two weeks after mastectomy, before chemo.
Making sure I still know how to post pics. If it works instructions to follow.
Fists up! -
How to post a pic.
1. Go to http://www.tinypic.com/
2. In the "upload" space browse your PC files for the pic you want to upload
3. Click "host image"
4. Scroll down the page you will see four choices, put your cursor over the one that is beside Img, left click your mouse, this will turn the info blue.
5. press" Ctrl" and "C" together. This copies the information.
6. Go back to the discussion boards and paste the info in your post. You do this by pressing "Ctrl" and "V" together.
& Good luck! and Fists up! -
Yes, Tinypic is the site I was thinking of!!
But don't forget to try to resize the pics ......... www.resize2mail.com
if they are smaller, we can see them easier and it doesn't make the forum page too wide. -
O.k - lets see if it works! This was me July 05 - after surgery before chemo
and this was me 5 mins ago! ( sorry about the stern face but its hard taking photos of yourself!!!!!
Take care all
Debbie -
debbie...your kids are so cute your hair is coming in great
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