April 2011 chemo

I'm still lopsided.  I really dislike it and would rather have none than one.

I don't think I can have TEs either due to the radiation.  I think (but am not sure as I've not started investigating) that I will have to get a breast "pocket" rebuilt from either stomach or back skin.  Then an implant inserted. 

I will have to stay the way I am for the forseeable future but would like to have something done later next year.

How many rads to go Windlass?

Thinking of you all.

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

Windlass -- I wish you could be done before Christmas, too!  But you're not far behind.  Hang in there.  Lots of hugs back atcha!

I am excited because today I am getting a second wig before my radiation appt. My first one is long human hair and a bit hard to maneuver and get it to stay on my head without glue. Hopefully tomorrow I will get an easier one I can wear more often. It makes a huge difference in my looks -- and my outlook, too.

Without a wig, I have a hideous bushy, ugly, masculine hairstyle. The worst part is that my hair no longer looks thin and non-existent like I've had chemo, but it's vibrant and thick and in your face ugliness that makes it look like I've intentionally CHOSEN to have a foofy, unstsylish, middle-aged-woman-let-her-looks-go hairstyle. There are plenty of women out there my age with this hairstyle (which I've always found unattractive), but I don't want to be mistaken for one of them professionally or socially.

A male colleague commiserated with me yesterday and said, "Yeah, I see where you're coming from. Women who have your hairstyle on purpose are also wearing 'mom jeans' or polyester pants." And they're probably named Ethel or Beatrice.

Not to knock all of that, just to say that before cancer it totally wasn't me. And now it sort of is.

*cry*

Seriously...when does it end?!  Yes, Windlass, this is the surgery where they took out the hard tissue expanders and put in soft implants.  It was just on Monday, so I'm still pretty sore.  And, I have to wear a stupid bra for 3 weeks STRAIGHT...24/7..and there's this tape under my boobs that is irritating me to no end.  3 weeks like this?  ugh.  I took a peek and the one side didn't look so great, but I'm putting it out of my head and waiting to see what happens.  

The doc said they'd be bigger than before, but honestly, I don't know.  Mom doesn't seem to think so.  My own ones had a natural 40 year  old hang to them (y'know, not too bad, but natural) and nipples of course.  So these kind of go flat on the front like the TEs did.  So, I'm not feeling like they are this fantastic improvement or anything.  I'm sure once they are healed, they'll look good in a bra, but these gigantic scars across them right now are pretty lame.  

I'm still a fuzzy duck...little bit of hair trying to grow.  I may have to go get that stuff Lisa took!   It really is disheartening after so long to still feel like we don't look good.  How long can we be good sports about this whole thing?!  

Love to you all. 

ROTFL on that salon! I am at the chemo center (weekly mandatory hour-long drive down here just so they can look at me and send me home) and that made me laugh out loud here in the very high-end, genteel Dana Farber 9th floor waiting room!

Merilee: I have the beehive hair thing going on too, and it's SO UGLY!

At this rate in a few months I'm going to look like Lyle Lovett with all this curly, post-chemo, anti-gravity hair reaching for the ceiling. (Forgive me in advance for posting this photo)

Profbee: You get to have cleavage again! Just think of the upside when those bandages and bras come off - cleavage is good!

Mine seems to have a life of its own

Thank you for the continuing laughs, BernieEllen and windlass.

Hilarious, BernieEllen!!  Thanks for the laughs!  Great way to start the day.

Scc- I cut all the ends off  of my curls ( about 1/2) inch and my hair is laying down much better. I was surprised it worked so well, but I was ready to shave mine as well.

I can only imagine how much it must stink to be waiting so long and then be unhappy with your hair.  I guess I may have that to look forward to.  I've JUST this week got a little stubble on my head (I did that second round of chemo so I'm behind you all now)...and I have to shave my armpits for the first time in AGES!  LOL.  I sure hope I don't wind up with curly hair.  I wouldn't know WHAT to do with it!

1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
5. Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles
7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
13. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, race of people who lived in Biblical times.
14. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
16. When the three wise guys from the East side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony