Feeling Weird Today
Wondering if anyone else has felt this way or is it just me? I woke up this morning feeling very weepy. I had my BMX one year ago tomorrow (the 15th) but woke up this morning thinking that this time last year, I still had my own breasts and they felt so nature and "normal." I have had reconstruction surgery and am almost done - tattoos on the 29th of this month! Grieving process??? I am not typically a "crybaby" but today is proving otherwise. . .
Comments
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Hi DJL, I understand where you are coming from. Are you, perchance, taking tamoxifen? I ask because after about 10 months on it I realized I was getting very 'weepy' - so feeling like crying could be attributed to the changes you've been through and that drug too.
Just so you know, after you get through all the recon, it does get better. And yes, it is a greiving process.
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No Tamoxifen but on Aromasin - which I just started a couple of weeks ago. Maybe that is part of the feeling! Just hope it goes away soon!
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Hi DJL, It will be a year for me on the 16th. I've shed a few more tears than normal because I can remember everything so vividly. I am so thankful that I got through it and can enjoy the holidays this year. My reconstruction is almost done too...tats next month. I do really miss the natural feeling of my breasts too, but I miss the peace of mind that I used to have more.
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What a difference a day can made. Yesterday the tears and today - just get joy. Woke up this morning thinking - this time last year, I had cancer and today I am good! A little talk with the significant other last night helped put things in perspective, too. He reminded me of all the good I have and how much I have changed and grown from my experiences the last year. On the bright side, too, I have met some of the most wonderful, kind, caring people through this experience that I otherwise would not have had touch my life.
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It's been a year to the day that I had my mastectomy and diep. I keep flashing back on that time and remembering just how difficult it was to go through. When going through it I had to be strong but I cried a lot while recovering from the surgery. You can't help but feel grateful that it is in the past. I met a new man in September and we have really hit it off. He's as happy with my "new" breast as I am. For anyone single out there, don't let what you have been through keep you from going out to date and have some fun. There are some nice men around who will love you for who you are.
Snowflower
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I think many of us get like that around certain cancerversaries. I know my one year of h e double toothpicks started around October 2011, surgeries started the day after Thanksgiving, and my bmx was January 2011. I notice at times I mourn the way things used to be and I think about how things used to be.
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