Calling all TNs

LuvRVing,

I held up pretty well with Radiation, I was really scared that my breast would really burn up given I'm so pale.  I've got one nasty burnt & peeling spot on my side next to my breast and just this morning I've noticed my breast is pretty red from the boosts, I've been using Aquaphor and aloe, not pretty to look at but not too uncomfortable or painfull.  I figured if we can get thru chemo, radiation should be a breeze.

I think I'm going to count from date of surgery, it was only 2 weeks after diagnosis anyway.   

Riley, you sound like me, I am that clumsy also!   

I was diagnosed Feb 22nd.  surgery March 7th so i just say March.

O+ 

I have only really just begun so I am not counting yet.  I do however countdown to when I am done with chemo and start rads.

I am B negative

Maggie

I know this is long but it is worth taking a look. It is from the newletter...POSITIVES ABOUT NEGATIVES:

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    Although I don't fully feel like this and I don't have any animosity for
anyone who does not have breast cancer and never thought about it, I do find
that I have no desire whatsoever to shop or celebrate the holiday. It seems
to me that there has been so much change in my life that all I want to do is
hold on to what I have and try to move forward...shopping, celebrating,
singing, all those things just seem meaningless this year....funny..it's the
first Christmas I have not looked forward to....and I have not bought
anything.....hope the kids won't be too disappointed....don't even think I
will make pierogi...the food I have always loved to cook.
So here is the article....

It’s  the most wonderful time of the year, croons Andy Williams over the
store’s  loud speaker.
 Really?  I think.  I’m sure the retailer wants me to agree
with Andy, which might mean I’ll toss some more goodies into my cart.  But
I am not convinced.  Buying stuff does not equal happiness, nor does
piped-in music mean all is wonderful. I leave the store empty handed and
head to the lake for a walk.  My post-cancer self is sort of like that—she
finds less appeal in acquiring stuff and is much more eager to spend time
in nature, getting exercise and some psychological balance.  I like this
change—I wish I had made it without having to go through surgery, chemo,
radiation, and fearing for my life.  I’ve learned that contentment is not
for sale at the mall or on the Internet, but discontent surely is.  And it
is all ramped up during the holidays.  In most cases, the holidays can’t
stand up to their own hype.  We, in general, expect too much of the
season—family togetherness, a beautiful snowy landscape, peace, joy,
exquisite decorations, and fancy cookies.  Our own living, breathing
Hallmark card—a pretty tall order under the best of circumstances.  But
when you’re dealing with breast cancer, the season of forced glee can be a
heavy burden.  The sadness of what a diagnosis means, the fear for our
future, worry about our kids, anxiety about what treatment will do to our
bodies, terror about whether or not we can beat this disease, anger that we
got sick in the first place—it can be a pretty potent stew of emotions on
any given day.   And we’re often simply sick and tired and not physically
up to our usual, let alone somebody else’s expectation of holiday-level
wonderful.  My first post-diagnosis Christmas came when my hair was a thin
layer of fuzz and my energy was stuck at slug level. I was still at the
point where I resented every woman I saw who did not have breast cancer, so
I was a little raw physically and emotionally.  The only thing I really
wanted that year was normalcy, which I tried to achieve by making myself at
least look somewhat like the old me.  I was tired of wearing wigs, so I
opted for a snazzy silk scarf for a family celebration at our home. Hair
equaled ordinary to me, so I wanted to show off my new stubby growth. But,
for the life of me, I cannot tie a scarf like a grown-up, so that little
number kept falling down my forehead or slipping lopsidedly over one ear
and then another. I looked like a drunken pirate. I considered ducking into
my bedroom and throwing on a wig.  But, ultimately I decided that this is
the way I looked at this point in my life, and my family loved me despite
that fact. Or, maybe, even because of it.    This should be a season of
love, a time for you to rebuild your health, which may be the only gift
your family and friends want. Some thoughts on making the season more
enjoyable for you:  Manage Expectations.  What do you need from the
holidays this year?  Rest?  Peace and quiet?  Or lots of company?  Talk
this over with friends and family and determine what you can and can’t
do—and realize it’s OK for this year to be different.  I found that
decorating the house perked me up, but I still left quite a few ornaments
in the basement because I simply ran out of energy.  Nobody noticed.
Avoid Holiday Pitfalls. Caffeine and alcohol can take us even farther into
the doldrums.  Both are plentiful during the holidays and both are harmful
for our physical recovery.  I generally follow a diet heavy on complex
carbs—grains, vegetable, and fruits—supported with cheese, yogurt, fish,
and shellfish.  I use the Mediterranean diet as a model, but reduce the
amount of wine it suggests because of the link between breast cancer and
alcohol.  Keep Active.  Walk, do yoga, swim, dance—anything that keeps your
body active can help calm your mind. If you feel sadness descending, or you
are getting anxious, get up and do whatever you can handle: walk to the
mailbox, put on a yoga DVD, or hang up the Christmas wreath.  Any activity
will do.  A friend of mine started taking piano lessons during treatment,
bought herself an inexpensive keyboard, and hit the ivories when she
started feeling low.  She now plays pretty darn well.  Enjoy Nature.
Spending time outdoors can increase your energy and reduce your anxiety.  I
actually enjoy bundling up in a warm coat, hat, scarf, mittens, a boots,
and going out into the wintry air.  Too much hot inside air can be
stifling.  Fresh air is invigorating for body and mind.   Honor Your
Emotions. I was sad and angry that first year, grieving my former life.
Pretending otherwise would have been denying my own reality.  Bottled
emotions, like liquor, get stronger with age.   And denying them just gives
them more power over you.  Your body, mind and spirit have been through a
huge change, especially if you have already started treatment, and that can
turn your emotions inside out. Check BCO’s overview of treatment side
effects, which includes anxiety, depression, and fatigue.  Talk it Out.  If
the holidays are making you especially low, find a wise friend, counselor,
minister, or anybody you can trust and sit down and talk about how you
feel.   Sometimes simply expressing yourself is the first step toward
feeling better.    Know the Difference Between Sadness and Depression.
Sadness is not a sign of weakness.  It is a sign you are human.  Yet, if
you are so sad you don’t feel like doing anything or seeing anybody, and if
it’s not getting any better, you might be depressed.  Check BCO’s analysis
of the difference between sadness and depression. Depression requires
professional help.   But before you take any additional medications, check
with your oncologist, to make sure those drugs will not interfere with your
treatment, especially if you are on tamoxifen.   Laugh.  Watch funny
movies, hang around friends who make you laugh, do anything that can tickly
your funny bone.  Even try laughing yoga.  The act of laughing itself can
reduce stress.  I come from a funny family in oh so many ways, but mainly
we just enjoy laughing.  I know that helped my recovery greatly.  And if
you’re going to look like a drunken pirate in your Christmas pictures, you
sure should be able to chuckle about it.

funny, my middle name is Ann.  Just thinking of all the goofy clumsy things I've done.  I remember as child during a field trip I actually walked straight into telephone poll and gave myself a big lump on the head and was laughed at for a good while. 

ksmathews - Congrats on getting your port out!  That was such a happy day for me.  The pain doesn't stick around too long and it was so nice to not feel it under my skin.  Yay for you . . . Kathy

Tina yeah for negative nodes and clear margins!

Good luck starting chemo! 

I am counting from the day I had my PET scan and was found to be all clear.  My blood type is O+.

Rads #10 of 30 done.  So far, so good.

Riley - that's called the Nottingham Scale and my tumor also pegged out at 9.  My Ki67 was 90% so I had a screamer, too!  Another couple of weeks and I would have been Stage IV.  That's why I went with the BMX first, a decision supported by my MO.  I wanted that beast out of me ASAP and I wasn't comfortable with neoadjuvant chemo, just in case it didn't work in my case. 

I love Christmas and love putting up the biggest tree that will fit in our room (9 ft this year).   Many years ago we were being relocated from CT to MO, and we had to be out of our house on 12/15.  We lived in a Residence Inn for a couple of weeks and I put up a real tree in our unit!  Everyone thought I was nuts, but I had to do it!  And the past seven years we've traveled from MO to MA for Christmas to spend with our grandchildren.  We still put up a real tree every year except once when we took an extended trip for three weeks and didn't return home until 1/15. 

According to the Mammo I had a 2.9 cm tumor, at the time of surgery I had 3.3 cm and .6 DCIS, (didn't show up on Mammo)  I'm assuming it was all attached.  I was 8 of 9, don't know what my Ki67 was, if that is the Oncotype score I've asked to not know the number, my anxiety over this crap is bad enough, no reason to have that info if I can't do anything about it.  I've heard exercise helps, so I've been doing about an hour plus on my eliptical 6 days a week.  If nothing else, I'm actually losing weight at a nice steady rate. 

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year.  I love to do up the whole house and really get into the spirit of things.  Unforturnately my husband hates the holidays and really has to force himself not to be a Scrooge, he can be such a downer sometimes!  There's nothing better than a real tree, something magical about the way it smells.  We broke down and got an artificial a couple of years ago, and I use the Yankee Candle plug ins Christmas scents all over the house, not the same but better than nothing.

LuvRVing, certainly don't need to know mine then.  All I can do is eat as healthly as possible and keep on exercising.  Been trying to stress less, hate to say it but I really need to cut some people out of my life.  Their constant drama is just not worth it to me anymore.  So sad, the person in question has been a friend for over 10 years but the negativity just rolls off of her and I'm done with that. 

Blood type - I'm O+



Yay on the port removal ksmatthews!!



Catwhispurrer - awesome news on your path report! Good luck with your chemo!



Painting - I hope you are able to take some joy in the season. I know you have so much on your plate right now. If all goes well with my chemo, let's try and do lunch in a few weeks. Someplace totally indulgent .



Titan - JAM - I can see that! Thanks for the article. I've been following the MUC1 trial, it is moving slowly .



My tumor characteristics were the nastiest of nasties, for sure. Nottingham 9, ki67 over 90%. Blech. Water under the bridge.



I'm happy to say it looks as though the Eribulin is helping. My pleural effusion appears to be down, and I am feeling better physically. I'm in the chair now getting treatment.



So I think I'll be able to do my Xmas trip - yay!!! I have to cut it a few days short for tx, but that's ok.



Have a good day everyone .

Suze- so happy to hear you are feeling a bit better and yes, YAY!!! for the trip! i hope you have a wonderful time!

Michelle- good to hear from you! Sounds like you are doing well and will be finished with rads before you know it!!

Ks- having the port removed is a little piece of heaven!! Congrats!

Don't know my bloodtype, and don't figure it matters anyway. Wait a week and they'll have a different opinion anyway. I don't put too much stock in the "science" of BC anyway--- it changes too much. I believe treating cancer is as much an art as it is a science... not to mention a crapshoot. How people fare during and after treatment is due, IMO, to individual factors that are still not fully understood.

My Ki67 was 99% and I don't put too much stock in that either. My surgeon at Sloan-Kettering told me it is simply a function of where the needle punch took place during the biopsy---- doesn't mean the entire tumor was "fast & furious". Nonetheless, I wanted that sucker *out* and was glad to have surgery ASAP followed by adjuvant therapy.... just in case my 2.3 cm tumor turned out to be chemo resistant. Knocking cancer cells out of the bloodstream via chemo is not a tricky as shrinking an intact tumor.

F*ck this... here's some humor:

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first
date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and
had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful
until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should not have had that extra latte. ! ! They were
about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of
nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for
a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going,
there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let
her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her
pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing,
so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and
indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could
think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As
she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen
to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her
flesh from the icy metal.. It was quickly apparent that she had a
brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment,
she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a
reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some
assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with
her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he
burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally
managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously,
as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real
problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from
the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was
only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her
first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the
fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show
prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'. And you
thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment... 'This
gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was
sitting next to her on the Leno show.

If you laughed at this pass it on.