Choosing Not to Reconstruct

Hi Mary,

I agree that you have already done a lot of thinking on this subject and sounds like to me, you are on your way to making up your mind.

I had a short but stressfull journey to make my decision to a bmx with no recontruction and am so happy with my choice. I just wanted all the cancer gone, and some how in my mind, taking both breasts off gave me more assurance from myself to myself (regardless of statistics, etc) that it was all gone and not coming back (I know there are no guarantees, but I had DCIS and PASH).

I had rather large breasts and disliked wearing bras, but going braless was uncomfortable even at home...like if I had to run to catch my naughty dog or was outside and had to run to the house for something...my large breasts would be flapping all over. And not to forget the wonderful yeast infections I would get underneathe in the summer.

They have mastectomy/prosthetic breast boutiques. Bras and prosthetics are covered by insurance, I am not sure how often because I only bought one bra and one set and never wear it.I hear wonderful things of Nordstrom's but see if you have any of those in your area. 

I am ten months from my bmx today and have never worn my bra and falsies other than at the shop and at home. I have post mastecomy pain issues and could only buy foam ones and a giant bra cuz it had to be so loose. I also did not like the fact that they were "perky." My breasts were large and saggy and thats how I wanted the prosthetics to be.However, had I been able to choose more styles, I am sure I would have found something more acceptable.

After my mastectomy, I was not totally flat and now that I have gained weight, I have even more bigger pouches where my breasts used to be. I was so upset and devastated, until I caught my partner looking down my shirt at my fake cleavage. He has been so instrumental on how well I accept things.Like Kathy's husband, my partner said at our age, he's not in it for the boobs.

I didn't want to go through all that pain and work to get another set of breasts and have to wear another darn bra.And like you, the pictures that the plastic surgeon (and insurance only covered one in a 45 mile radius), were not anything to brag about. 

And I still have feeling on my chest area. Although I don't have all the parts I used to have, I at least still get feeling across there now. I have read of many women who get recontruction lose their ability to feel sensations on their breasts.

That being said, there are many women who prefere to have breasts and are willing to go that route. We each need to decided what is best for ourselves and our unique situations.

I wish you the best.

Should you choose no recontruction, come back and we can give you a lot of tips on your mastecomy surgery and recovery tips!!!

I truly wish you the best.

I am glad to have this forum to share life's adventures with no reconstruction. I had a mastectomy 20 months ago, and the second breast removed 5 weeks ago, and I am very comfortable with my decision to not get reconstruction.

Two reasons come to mind, I absolutely don't want another surgery, and secondly, I think we are about more than our breasts. My body did something remarkable for me, it withstood two surgeries and countless tests so I can be cancer free, I am proud of myself and my body...and I even want to be able to communicate this to others.

 In my case, mastectomy was my only option, because my cancer was multifocal, but no node involvment and very clear margins so no chemo and no rads.

I don't feel good about myself right now, 5 weeks out of surgery is too soon, but I want to learn to embrace my choices and move forward to loving myself. I am thankful to be able to share thoughts here and get support from others in my situation.

i'm another one who chose not to do the reconstruction even though my doctors recomended it . i had my bmx in 2006 and i just wanted to get on with my life with as little surgery as possible. i definately dont regret it.  my recuperation from the bmx was awesome , i was home 26 hours later with very little discomfort. i got a few bras in my regular size to be even and   no one can tell which is me and which is the foob.   i never even think about it ,just get dressed as usual, my husband is just glad that i'm alive and  didnt have to go through more procedures

Hi Mary625,

Perhaps you'd find it helpful to check out my non-profit website, BreastFree.org. There are personal stories, photographs, advice about breast forms and bras, and information about what to expect post-surgery. Many of the stories and photos on BreastFree.org were contributed by women I met here at breastcancer.org.

My story is the first in the Personal Stories section of my website. I had my bilateral mastectomy over five years ago and haven't regretted my decision. I usually wear lightweight breast forms, though I often go flat at home. I do everything that I did before and (thanks to excellent physical therapy after surgery) my posture is actually better than it was before!

Good luck with your decision.

Barbara 

Hi Mary,

Glad you found us and also found breastfree.  My story is also on there titled Carol.  I understand what you mean about it seeming like everyone else reconstructs.  I am almost 6 years out from diagnosis and depsite many people telling me I would change my mind and do recon, I have not changed my mind and am very happy not doing reconstruction.  It just was not the right choice for me.  I think that because I was on the younger side when diagnosed and had young kids for some reason people thought I would want reconstruction.

I have NO physical restrictions-I work out with free weights, run, play tennis, etc.  I had a single mast. and wear a breast form all the time except when I sleep. 

Mary-I had a BMX with no recon in April of this year. I go to the gym-weights,core, cardio......I also run, swim, lots of hiking, some biking. I have no physical limitations from my BMX. I returned to the gym as soon as I got my drains out(1 week post-op). At first I was very cautious but soon I found my way back. My BS didn't believe in physical therapy. She said that studies show women who get early PT don't do any better in the long run. At times I wished I had some guidance though. Good luck with you decision! Your thoughts on the MX mirror mine. I don't regret my decision. It was the best option for me. I haven't worn a bra since befoer surgery & haven't wanted to try prosthetics.

I might add that my doctor pushed VERy hard for reconstruction.  She refused to even do the mastectomy until I met with a plastic surgeon.  I'm happy I did because the plastic surgeon suggested if I didn't want recon, to have a reduction on the other side.  I'm happy because I'm now a B cup.    I wish I just had it off completely but this is a good compromise I guess.

I was angry that my breast surgeon thought she knew me - she told me different ways I would "feel" -that I was just not thinking clearly, etc.  Hm.  No, think not.  You don't know me.    But the plastic surgeon pulled up a stool and said "Tell me about you."  And I did.  And I finished by saying "I don't think reconstruction is for me."   Her answer "Yes, I think you're absolutely right".  So she was willing to listen when the BS was not.  

My BS still comments when I go: 'So are you thinking of reconstruction?"  Me "Nope - I'm happy the way I am...." 

Ladies - thank you for all of your stories. I too am sitting on the fence so to speak. Had a umx in July - still considering removing the right breast (waiting for genetic test results before final decision). Not sure about recon. I am on the smaller size and have never really liked wearing a bra either. Have done a bit of reasearch and I am not crazy about the surgeries, scars and possible complications that comes with recon.

I think people do expect one to have reconstruction - however, at this point, I think I would be ok without.

Edited to say I'd be interested to hear if anyone else asked about the potential for seeding during implant recon and what the answer was. This was a major factor in my decision making process.

I had two breast surgeons I consulted recommend PS's to see. One even made appts for me. IMO, that's all about the business end of things. If you do decide to reconstruct, they hope to keep you in the same hospital system.

My story is a little different so I thought I'd share my experience and brand new decision. I had my second bout with BC in June '10, due to prior rads had to have MX and chose BMX. I had immediate reconstruction with TEs - not reconstructing was not even something I considered. Now, 18 months later, I have been through necrosis that lasted almost a year, resulting in eventual removal of the rt side TE, since August I have been trying to decide what to do next. I sought a 2nd opinion with a PS and had surgery scheduled for May '12 to have TRAM flap. This weekend I made the decision to have the other TE removed and forego any other surgeries. My body has been through enough, 3 surgeries in the past 18 months. I am fortunate to be cancer free. I have decided to accept my body as it is and move forward with my life. I just can't imagine another year of major surgery and healing. I am done. I tried and it didn't work and I am going to love my body just the way it is. It took a lot of soul searching to get to this point. Interesting a lot of people gave me the opposite advice, they couldn't believe I would go through all this trouble just to have breasts. I don't think you can truly understand it unless you live it. I am at peace now with my decision but it took all of this to get to this point. 

Mary: I am 19 days out from a BMX with no recon. I applaud your research, this is at best a very difficult and personal decision. THe discussion boards have been a huge support system for me as I went through the inital process of deciding what to do and what to expect. Like KMPOD I approached my chose from a risk/benefit point of view. I am a prior OVCA survivor (2004) and had gone through chemo and blood transfusion, etc. I was told if I did the MX my risk of having the bc return was 0%, I would also not have to do chemo, radiation or ever have another mamo. So the decision at that point became a no brainer and for peace of mind I did the BMX. I also found out after talking to the PS, who definitely pushed TE's, that if I ever chose to reconstruct I could do it at ANYTIME.  I saw my chest bandaged after surgery and have seen my incisions when bandaging was changed and was not freaked out. I know that there is still a healing journey ahead of me,but I do not regret the decision of no recon.  As many before me have stated, my breasts do not define who I am.  I am just so happy to be cancer-free that the loss of my breasts is minor in the grand scheme of things.

"Seeding" is when the needle track from a biopsy pulls cancer cells into good breast tissue. If you get a mastectomy, they are removing all breast tissue so there is no issue. Those with lumpectomies sometimes get the needle tracks taken out with the lump.

I am known for saying "Why should I wear fake boobs to make YOU feel better?"

I am 3 years out and loving it!!! Flat and sleek and sexy.....! It still feels wicked to not wear a bra. I make sure I get slinky material that feels good against my body. When I used to buy clothese I'd show my DH and say "look how pretty", now I say "look how soft!".

Thanks Tina, and all of you here. Now that I've made my decision can't wait to get the TE removed and get on with it and like you said, love this body as it is.