Here's what cheezed me off today

Hi Everyone, I haven't been happy and have barely had the energy to be cheezed.  I am just in one of those life sucks moods.  Okay, here goes... I'm cheezed that I don't have energy, I'm cheezed about having no hair and knowing it will be years before it's long and beautiful again!

I'm cheezed that Thanksgiving dinner tasted like soap, I'm cheezed that my family and I don't get our holiday trip to ski together this year and I'm cheezed that these last 6 months have been all about cancer!

This has been a very frustrating morning for me!  I have tried for three days to contact my PCP to get clearance for surgery (at another hospital) and I can't get an app't!  Twice I have been ignored and put on terminal hold, and today when I finally reached a real human instead of a machine, I was put on hold again, then told they couldn't find anyone to see me, then given a direct number to call which turned out to be "not a working number".  This is Cleveland Clinic of Florida...a well known medical facility with supposedly an outstanding reputation!  If this is how they treat a patient with a life threatening illness, I would hate to see how I would be treated if I just called for a regular check up!  I just want to scream at the incompetence of our medical profession!!  Now I have a call in to my BS to see if they can get someone else to give me clearance for my surgery.  This is just ridiculous.  One thing for sure...I am SO GLAD I didn't choose this facility for my breast cancer surgery and treatments!

Rockym, best of luck with rads. I hope your mother is doing better. I also hope the nasty relative isn't (doing better, that is).

So I was really cheezed off last week. My tx for the mets is Femara (daily pill) and Aredia (monthly infusion). So last Thurs was my Aredia tx. I had a UTI so emailed my onc the night before to ask  what would be since I was on abx - he said it would depend on bloodwork. I mentioned to the nurse as she was opening my port that I thought the infection had spread to my kidneys since I had mild pain there. She spoke to the onc who decided that I should have IV fluids in addition to the Aredia to make things easier for my kidneys. I was seriously annoyed by this - not by the onc & nurse, they're doing their best for me, but by needing extra IV fluids with a routine thing like a UTI. I don't know how many times over the years I've had UTIs, sometimes with kidney involvement, but this is the first time I needed IV fluids with it.

I hate cancer.

Leah

Leah, I'm with you... I HATE CANCER!!!!  Sorry to hear about the additional fluids.  Sometimes it feels like our health issues are never ending.

I'm 18 days PFC and instead of feeling better, I am dragging.  I guess this last tx just wiped my body and mind out.  My eyes have been twitching a lot and also watering.  I barely have eyelashes and if I don't put on mascara, I look pale and sick.  Of course the crappy part is that with my eyes watering it messes with the mascara.  I can't use waterproof either because it's too harsh and hard to remove for my delicate lashes right now.

Anyway... my flight is booked for tomorrow.  I need to go care for my 79 year old mom (500 miles from me) and see that her health care needs are taken care of.  I could go on about how many old things I am dealing with, but that would just be whining and I'm usually not much of a whiner...more of a bitcher :-)

Sometimes life just sucks!

So, I had to get bloodwork done before see MO.

Gave my good arm to the LAB person ... she stuck the blue butterfly needle in ... out ... in ... out  ... played with the other end ... 30 sec later ... she was putting gauze & tape on my arm. YES, no blood came out into the test tubes. She said ... let me have the other arm. SORRY, no needles or IV in the other arm. So, she slapped my good hand and poked the arm more. OK, I am getting LAB done in a hospital. Isn't this the only thing she does everyday? Anyway, she called another LAB worker over and she got the job done with no problem. WHF

Rockym - my parents are 85 & 86 ..  LIFE sucks when you have to do it all ... so, B I T C H away. 

Nips soon to be 3D tattoos I hope (no special glasses needed) ...  Carry On!

I am cheezed that it is 2:41 a.m. on a thursday night Friday morning, I have appointments tomorrow and I CAN'T FRIGGIN' SLEEP!

Rohanna, when I was dx with mets, my onc said it was a "chronic condition" and likened it to diabetes and high BP. While I'm not so blase as to feel it's an easy thing, my onc's attitude is one of the reasons I stick with him.

Leah

I HATE this whole process!!  Never been really sick before, so I am having a hard time navigating through all of this doctor/hospital red tape!

 My pre op screening was last Monday and Cleveland Clinic had all week to get the readings and clear me, but no, they wait until 3:00 PM on Friday when my surgery is on Monday to call and tell me they need more cardio screening!  I was 50 freaking miles away visiting my GD in W. Palm!  They proceeded to make me an app't with the cardiologist up there in W. Palm so I had to run all over the place in rush hour traffic looking for the location.  Boy...what a fancy place in the high rent district!  Wait till Medicare gets that bill!

 Finally got in and got the clearance.  Dr. was very nice (not his fault his clinic is screwed up!) but CC is going to hear from me on this one!  I had a royal meltdown when I got home, after driving for an hour in bumper to bumper traffic on I-95...yelled at the boyfriend, slammed doors, and pretty much acted like a brat.  Didn't really make me feel any better, so guess I won't do that again!

Now I have something else to worry about...a heart issue.  Does it ever end?? 

rohanna, thanks for your support.  Dealing with mom has definitely taken some of my mojo away.  Crazy relatives and siblings.... crap!  I'll tell you... I am an only child (brother passed 25 years ago) and it doesn't matter.  I've got a cousin that after not speaking to my mom for 25 years has crawled out from the woodwork.  Now that mom is starting to have memory issues, etc. I think the cousin is looking to cash in.  This cousin was trying to speak to my mom when mom was in the hospital and very drugged up and when my other cousin wouldn't allow my mom to be disturbed (my request) the crazy cousin called me and harassed me.  It's even a longer story, but you get the point I'm sure.  I need to put a message on my mom's answering machine that says, "Mom can't come to the phone right now and her ENTIRE ESTATE GOES TO HER DAUGHTER ROCKY so leave a message and we'll get back to you." :-)

You go SAS! I want YOU in my pocket when I am in the presence of medical personnel!

i was in the car with my daughter when she got a phone call.  she answered it and started yelling, 'oh, my gosh.  THANK YOU.  OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.  i'm so excited.'  when she hung up, i asked her what was going on?  she told me she'd gotten tickets to the ellen degenerses (sp?) show. i was excited , too and asked her how many tickets.  she said 4.  i asked her who was going and she told me her mother-in-law, her sister-in-law, and a cousin of her husband's.  i guess my face dropped to the floor because then she said, 'i didn't think you really liked ellen.'  oh, REALLY?  then she told me that it's for her mother-in-law's birthday and she loves ellen.  yesterday was my birthday.  she gave me UV light sanitizer for my cell phone.  my daughter has been married 13 months.  FML

Thank you in advance for listening to me vent.

2 months post-op:

1.  The internist at a University Hospital I saw this week who recommended adjuvant therapy stating "It's so much better now ~ no nausea and your hair won't fall out!"  Ha! He should visit breastcancer.org and get educated! 

2.  His next statement was, "If you were my wife, I'd recommend you do whatever your oncologist recomments." to which my dear husband sitting next to me replied, "She IS my wife, and I will support her choice."  Let's hear it for our husbands who support us in love!

3.  People who use the word "recovered" after surgery as if  "cancer is over" and the word "cured" ~ makes me want to throw up.  What's going to take for the general public to understand cancer is a chronic disease (source:  Susan B. Love's Breast Book, 5th edition).

My sole humorous moment this week was when my husband looked at me while I was naked, and said with a smile, "Honey, now that each breast has had a lumpectomy they are the same size."  I looked and agreed...15 years & 2 separate primary cancer site surgeries later, "the girls" are a matched set (well almost )

Namaste.  CMG

macatacmv:  I would be happy just to get a copy of my final pathology report!  Had surgery on Monday and still no word.  I called the office today and requested the information and no call back, so tomorrow I am calling first thing and talking to the "special coordinator" that I met when I was at the cllinic and put it in her capable hands.  I want an answer by Friday afternoon so I don't have to worry over the weekend.  Not too much to ask!

Tonight I almost lost it with a friend who has decided that she knows more about my disease than I do because she has been suffering with cancer for the last ten years (not bc).  She didn't want to hear anything about all the research I've done and wants me to get second opinions on treatment for an early stage bc.  I already told her I won't do chemo and she keeps saying (like I'm a child) we'll talk about that when the final report comes in.  She can talk all she wants, but my decision has been made...no chemo.  I'm 71 and the studies all say it offers no benefit for my type of bc.  Why do people do this?  She was upset the other day because her daughter would not let her come along on a doctor's app't.  Now I know why!  I know she means well but BACK OFF.....!