Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?

That's the issue in a nutshell.  All that self-doubt can leave you not kowing which end is up.  My goal next time is to go slow and trust in increments. So then, if there are red flags, I have time between dates to think about them.  I just read somewhere today, to write them down, so that you train yourself to listen to your own feelings but also so you can see if there is a pattern.  Too many red flags and he goes, hopefully before you're too attached.  Anyway, that's the plan.

I found out after I/we broke up that my bf of 4 yrs kept his profile 'inactive' during the entire relationship.  I deleted mine of course, early on. I thought it was pretty weird. I think he thought he was being practical. Mind you this man put $25-30,000 into my house in materials to remodel, paid for all travel, dinners, entertainment, etc. He was not a rich man either, just had a good, stable income. But he never actually moved in. It was a very confusing relationship. 

Fearless...how did you find out about the other girl?  Maybe it's not true? 

Mybee...I like the idea of writing down the red flags.  Gives us time to mull it over and not let stuff go that we shouldn't ignore.  I ignored the red flag when my last guy told me early on he usually gets bored with the women he dates.  Thought it wouldn't happen with me...guess what?  He got bored and moved on.  Could have saved myself a lot of heartache.

Twoputter- it's funny but they do give you clues early on.

I liked the writing idea too.  Puts it in black and white.

Sometimes less is more.  Let them reveal themselves.  Again in my recent reading, they said that creeps will read a profile and then mimic the interests of the woman in order to manipulate into their lives, for whatever reason.  And it could be a well-intended reason.  But you want to know who they are not who they want you to think they are (as in just like you and the perfect man for you).

You can tell I have been thinking a lot about this stuff lately.  Really wanting to change some patterns.

I'd give you tips but apparently my profile is unattractive to men

I figured that was the case, I've shortened mine up a lot recently too.

I had never thought about the photos that way but it makes sense.

I agree.

I was on POF several times (inactivated or closed my profile when I was dating someone - one at a time please ) What I would recommend DF is to close your profile and then rejoin after a bit, with a new photo or two. You will immediately pop up as new to the site, go into a lot of inboxes, etc. and attract renewed interest.  You'll get a lot of hits immediately. It's like real estate. They tell you to do the same thing with your house if it isn't moving (at least in the old economy).  If a property sits too long, buyers start to wonder what is wrong with it.

 On a different note - Here is a link to an article/program I have found interesting over the past week.  I haven't bought any ebooks, yet, but might.

http://recoverfromemotionalabuse.com/how-can-i-ever-trust-again/#comment-918

If you are inactive and then become active, I don't think you come up as a new member and won't get the same response.

As far as the initial emails, ask them questions.  Men love to talk about themselves. Or be a little provocative.  They love that too. But they don't want to type for too long.  Most of them are not good typists and don't have the patience.  They just suffer through it to meet you in person.