Something's been bothering me...

Hear, hear! Heather.

You are so right.

People want to believe that we did something to cause our cancer so they can comfort themselves that since they aren't doing such things, they won't get cancer.

I know because that was my approach too before I got cancer. (Guilty!) Doesn't help that the general interpretation of medical studies is that various diets/lifestyles etc. are correlated to cancer. Such correlations are often so slim as to almost be worthless, in my opinion.

Since getting cancer, I have noticed that some of the most healthy living people get this disease. (Including me, never smoked, always exercised, eat well, healthy weight, etc.) I'm now convinced it's a disease for the healthy. 

Don't worry, the "blame-the-victim" people will one day understand, when they themselves, or their loved ones come down with cancer too. I don't wish it on anyone, but I don't have to. It just happens all the time. 

Maybe they want to know so they can protect themselves.  However, there are so many ways to get cancer that no matter what we do, "if" we are dammed to get it, it's going to happen.  My mom was so afraid of cancer that we were not allowed to say it accept to call it the "C" word.  She was so proud that no one in our family ever got it.  My only peace is that she left this world before I was diagnosed and only found out on the other side that her last child of 8 got the "C" word.  When I was diagnosed I cried in shame for feeling I let my mom down by being the one to bring it into the family.

But, you see, I was given Premarin for years for Menopause symptoms and told it was safe.  I ended up with ER+PR+Herp- bc.  Nothing I could have known to do would have stopped me from getting it since I took the Premarin.  How was I to know years later they would find hormones unsafe when my own gyn said it was safe.   The sad part of my story is I endangered my life by taking the Premarin to stop my horrible Menopause symptoms and ended up taking Arimidex for over 8 and 1/2 years which gave me worse menopausal symptoms.  My Onc just told me a couple of weeks ago I could get off of the Arimidex after I finish my last 90 pills.  Whew!  Maybe I will get to go at least one day without depression or fear of the side effects!

Best of luck to you with your travel on the road to survive bc.

The presence of these risk factors does not mean you are likely to get the disease, and their absence does not offer absolute protection either. For example, a family history of breast cancer is considered a principal risk factor. Yet 80%-90% of women who get the disease have no known family history. Just read that on lifescript.com while looking for something else>

Argh, I so relate to this topic, I have pretty much heard it all about what I must have done to cause my bc. I had to conclude, like a lot of you, that what was really going on was other peoples fears about their own illness and death. But it is so unkind and unhumane! And I found that it was "new age" "spititual" people who were the absolute worst, all that stuff about The Secret was huge when I was dx'd in '07.

Then I started to notice a flip side- certain people, when they found out about me, just gave me so much love and care and empathy. Sometimes I am mothered by people I barely know and that is just amazing. Some people are really gifted at giving care and concern.

You are probably right thatsvanity, my dads side of the family all have had some kind of cancer and died from it. My daughter and i both carry the same gene of significance of an uncertain gene, we both have the same gene but the they dont know what.