WHY would I put myself through this?

I have read your story and my heart goes out to you. You've had a rough road littered with the worst side effects and lots of uncertainties about the ultimate efficacy of any choice you make. Whatever way you choose to go if you can make peace with your decision then that will be the right one for you. Though you would really dislike me, I am very cheerful (most of the time except when I'm ticked off at being stage IV), I wish you the best.

Caryn

Omaz,

No, she is using an iPad! We suspect she was on petco.com ordering doggie treats.

Caryn

Love it!

TLG - How are you doing?  We're all here for you anytime you want to talk.

Oh boy. 

One at a time.  My hope is that your medical support is on the ball now and the system failures are completely behind you.

With you in spirit,

A.A.

No cheery, peppy or perky platitudes, just hoping that you do not have to go through such suffering again.

Caryn

Tlc- read five Lessons I didnt Learn from breast cancer. It was the first book that I finally felt I had something in common with. Funny and irreverent.



Although I hadnt started chemo at christmas last year, I had just had my first surgical biopsy a couple weeks before that. Hosting 40 people at my house on christmas eve definately kept my mind on something other than bc. It was a good thing as I can dwell on something and stew about it for hours.



Are you on an anti- anxiety pill. Mine really helped with my panic disorder. I was depressed, cried everytime someone looked at me, couldnt eat and my heart was pounding. Doc said I had every symptom. Cymbalta worked within 48 hours for most od the symptoms.

LadyGrey - Hope you made it through today without any troubles and sleep well tonight.

Good Luck today Lady Grey!!! This round has GOT TO BE BETTER  than your last one!! Geez!!!! Love ur sense of humor

LadyGrey - How are you doing today?

I too have been through it all in the last 1 1/2 years. I have read that her2 pos. horm. neg. at one time was the worst bc to have and out of all her2 only 7 % is just her2  only. I thank God dearly for giving us gals a life saver. I really don't think there is enough info. about just how good it is for us early stagers but if it does better for us than the stage 3 and 4 gal we will be around for a very long time!!! I asked my onc. just how long she thought that I may have had these nasty cancer cells growing and she told me only 4 to 6 months before I felt the 3 lumps. My bc was a little strange to all the Drs I saw because I didn't have 1 solid mass, I had 3 kind of like a chain ooo each 1cm plus an area of 5 cm specked with cancer cells. I think part of this is because of the crazy her2 grade 3 cells. I am so glad to be putting all of this behind me and moving forward. One more great story to share a gal 28 y/o on the thread where I started Aug.10 chemo was stage IV and early this summer she was declared by her onc. to be NED and she is her2 : ) Also good her2 movie to watch is Living Proof I ordered it online....great movie about how herceptin came about and what the Dr.Dennis Slamon had to go through to get it approved. We all need to thank this man!!!

I worked all through tx only missing 1 day because I didn't feel good. I can honestly say my side effects were minimal and I believe most of it comes from mind over matter for me.Once I make up your mind that this is what you have to do you have to find the best possible way to get through it. Maybe I'm strange but this is how I roll.

Lady Gray,

I want to applaud you for continuing to struggle through this.  Your family is grateful to have a mom that is willing to fight even when we don't feel like fighting any more.  I understand the depression, but I keep thinking about my mom.  She fought and we were given more time with her.  She had a very rare cancer of small intestine, but knew she needed to try for her family.  The last time I saw her in her home was Christmas.  Even though she knew things were tough, she gave us the best present.  She fought for us.

 Now I'm going to fight through this for my family.  Even though I have had to stop working at a job that I love, I know that I will get through this.  It is one day at a time and sometimes one second at a time.  You WILL get through this.  We will be there to help. 

LadyGrey - good to hear you are doing better this time, I hope it continues.

((((((HUGS))))))

Sue

TheLadyGrey I'm so glad that you are keeping us updated. I think of you often and hope that you are managing the SEs. The SEs are very real indeed. I had the most miserable GI effects from TCH from day 6-10 of every cycle including unbearable cramping and diarrhea to the point that I had to convert to a liquid diet during those days just to get through. The MO never found anything that helped. I just drank my Ensure and suffered through those days and was miserable. No amount of positive thinking was going to change it-I vividly remember crying and thinking I couldn't stand it another day but then it would finally end and I'd get my strength back for the next cycle. I also took every single precaution against neuropathy and thought I was fine only to develop neuropathy in both hands several months after chemo ended. We are all so biologically different and there is no way to know who is going to get away with minimal SEs and who is not. No regrets here either-I agree that we are so blessed to have Herceptin. I often think about what Dr. Slamon said in the outtakes from the movie Living Proof. He said that the future lies in targeted treatments like Herceptin and he hopes that we can eventually get rid of "slash and burn" chemo. Until that day comes, we are stuck with a less than perfect option. Hang in there LadyGray and keep telling yourself: you just have to show up:)