Fear of Chemo is overcoming me!!!

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ravs
ravs Member Posts: 18
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment

I am scheduled to start my first cycle of the dreadful treatment Monday 5th. I am terrified to say the least. Being diagnosed a stage 3, any experience of how many cycles I may need. Onc. Says about 6 now and maybe 5-6 more later depending on how quickly they can remove the lump, full-scale MAST is advised after 6 cycles of chemo.

Any old survivors here?? would like to know how difficult it is to cope and so on..

Fingers crossed for everyone, live to fight another day.

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  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited December 2011

    I recommend reading the threads about your specific chemo regimen, joining a thread with people starting chemo the same month as you, as the support was invaluable from people having the same experience.  Also the threads "Tips for getting through Chemo" and "More tips and a shopping list" as they have much valuable information.  The anticipation is worse than the event - you will be scared but you can do this.  One of the great things is that with neoadjuvent chemo you will be able to see the cancer shrinking prior to the surgery - I would imagine this will be comforting to you as you will see the effect.  Good luck to you! 

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited December 2011

    Ravs,

    SpecialK makes a good point! There are quite a few threads here that can really help you get some good perspective on treatment. You might want to start at the Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After forum. Within that forum, you should find women who will be going through chemo the same time you are, with whom you can share experiences.

    In addition, there's some really good information on the main Breastcancer.org site all about Chemotherapy, including What to Expect, Managing Side Effects, and Dealing with Chemo Fears.

    Hope you find this info helpful!

    --The Mods

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  • SharonMH
    SharonMH Member Posts: 353
    edited December 2011

    Hi ravs, Welome to the club that no one wants to belong. I am also a stage 3. I did chemo before surgery, I could feel the tumor shrinking, then I did  radiation. Chemo is very doable. I was never sick.  I was very tired. I am two years out and NED (no evidence of disease) and doing well. There is also a forum for stage 3. Good luck with your chemo and the rest of your treatment. Looking back now it really did go fast. SharonH

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited December 2011

    ravs, one thing that helped me tremendously was a guided imagery CD by BellaRuth Naperstak called Chemotherapy.  You can find it on this website:   www.healthjourneys.com, and you can download it immediately, if you're interested.  I was also terrified of chemo, and I found the positive thoughts and affirmations on that CD very calming and helpful in restructing my thought process.  I haven't been on that website in awhile, but they used to have little snippets you could listen to to see if it was something that interested you.  

    Also, as SpecialK suggested, look for the December 2011 chemo thread here (click on Forum Index above and scroll down to the Chemotherapy Forum).  The support of other women who are also going through it will give you strength & comfort.    (((Hugs)))   Deanna  

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  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited December 2011

    Ravs - so sorry you are here, but it's a great place for advice and support.  I was terrified, too.  But I showed up and it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be.  I have a blog and there are pictures of me getting chemo.  It might help you to "see" what to expect.  You'll find it at

    www.mch-breastcancer.blogspot.com

    Someone here has said, "you don't have to be brave, you just have to show up."  It's a good way to look at this.  You know you have to do it, and you will.  You can get through this with the help of your family and friends, and all of us here.  For sure, find the discussion thread for those who are starting chemo the same month.  And it's a good idea to read through one of the earlier month's posts as it will give you some idea of what people experienced and how they dealt with side effects. 

    I had my bmx first and then 8 rounds of chemo. I had a PET scan two weeks later and all the cancer was gone. Believe me, it helps to know that and makes everything you endure worth it. 

    Hugs,

    Michelle

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  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited December 2011

    I too was terrified before. Cried on my way in. but guess what I was fine. I just finished all four rounds of A/C. on to Taxol in 2 weeks. I really feel fine. the lonliness is the worst part. I can't work. too many germs there. You can do it!

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  • AlaskaAngel
    AlaskaAngel Member Posts: 1,836
    edited December 2011

    Hi,

    I was and am genuinely chemophobic, but I did chemotherapy 6 times, and admit it was traumatic and difficult every single time for me. I got through it. I don't favor chemotherapy for stages 0-1 for various reasons, but I do for more troublesome stages. I did treatment almost 10 years ago. Based on current information, I personally would want the oncologist to also thoroughly discuss the possibility of using metformin as part of your regimen.

    The breast is an endocrine gland, and hopefully as time passes our medical providers will comprehend that the basis for better care has to involve endocrinologists, by educating them about cancer and then putting one of them on each tumor board to make recommendations for treatment.  Right now we are still stuck in the Dark Ages with just surgeons, radiologists, oncologists, and perhaps pharmacists.

    I'm sorry you are having to go through it without better support, but once you have been through the first treatment, at least some of the fear with not knowing what it is like will be over.

    AlaskaAngel

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  • Sassa
    Sassa Member Posts: 1,588
    edited December 2011

    I had 4 AC .  What helped me was visualizing a pie cut into four pieces (5-6 for you).  Each time I had a chemo, a piece of pie was removed. A quarter, a fifth, or a sixth of a pie is a big slice and the pie starts to disappear at a nice rate.

    Whenever I started to get down about the chemo treatments left, I would visualize the pie that was left, think I had already eaten a big chunk of it and might as well finish the rest.

    Silly, but it worked. At least, I didn't have to promise myself to "diet" when I finished the pie.

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  • Gator65
    Gator65 Member Posts: 72
    edited December 2011

    I just did my first AC treatment on Dec 1st. It was nowhere near as bad as my imagination made it out to be. I am on day 3 and a have some nausea, but it is doable. I am 1 down and 11 to go.

    Take care. 

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  • 208sandy
    208sandy Member Posts: 2,610
    edited December 2011

    I was terrified before my first chemo - broke down in the waiting room and had to be helped to my feet but then - it wasn't hard at all - I had six treatments and honestly the fatigue and not being able to be out in large crowds was the worst.  You just have to show up as they say.

    Gator 65 - did you get anti-nausea drugs?  Emend is awesome - my understanding is you should be getting drugs to keep the nausea at bay because once it starts it's harder to get rid of - hope you' feel better soon.

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  • PinkShirtNow
    PinkShirtNow Member Posts: 134
    edited December 2011

    Ravs -  I was also terrified before my first chemo.  I just finished 12 rounds of weekly Taxol and it was not as bad as I imagined.  Yes, I have fatigue and some side effects but they are all managable.  I just figure that I don't really have much choice.  I'm not very brave but I keep showing up and trying to handle one day at a time.  I know that sounds cliche but it really is the only way to do it.  If I look at the whole breast cancer journey, it overwhelms me. If I just look at today, it is better.

    I start 4 rounds of AC in a week so I appreciate all of you who posted that it was doable.  I came to this thread to comfort Ravs but I also am encouraged to keep going.

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  • bc50
    bc50 Member Posts: 40
    edited December 2011

    ravs,

    I am also Stage 3 and starting chemo the same day as you.  I had a BMX on Oct 31st. Will have four rounds of AC, four rounds of Taxol and 7 weeks of radiation after that.  If you would like to, PM me and maybe we can keep up together. 

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  • maltomlin
    maltomlin Member Posts: 343
    edited December 2011

    I too was terrified when sitting in the chemo chair for the first time. Just wanted to run away.

    Then I thought about 'all those little kids that have chemo and just get on with it' . They don't even complain. If they can do do it, so can I.

    Chemo was no 'walk in the park' but it wasn't the hardest thing to do either. Just batten down the hatches, mark the chemos off on the calendar and you'll soon be through it.

    Have something really nice to look forward to on your good weeks. It makes all the difference.

    I'm over three and a half years since chemo and it's like a distant dream. Still worry sometimes (of course I wouldn't be normal otherwise) but most of the time I get on and enjoy life & that's what's life is all about.

    Take care

    Mal 

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  • Gator65
    Gator65 Member Posts: 72
    edited December 2011

    208 Sandy - I have Emend, Zofran and Compazine and ativan for good measure, The nausea is not so bad today. Kinda like on the back burner.

    I was scared of the the first treatment, my BP was through the roof. I really feel silly about how scared I was. LOL 

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2011

    The breast is not an endocrine gland.

    Here is a definition of the endocrine glands:

    Endocrine gland: A gland that secretes a substance (a hormone) into the bloodstream. The endocrine glands are "glands of internal secretion." They include the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, pineal gland, thyroid, parathyroid glands, heart (which makes atrial-natriuretic peptide), the stomach and intestines, islets of Langerhans in the pancreas, the adrenal glands, the kidney (which makes renin, erythropoietin, and calcitriol), fat cells (which make leptin). the testes, the ovarian follicle (estrogens) and the corpus luteum in the ovary).

    Source: http//www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=39880

    (Can't make this link live!)

    The breast certainly depends on hormones but it doesn't produce them.

    According to biology-online.org, the endorcine glands are:

    hypothalamuspituitary glandthyroid glandpancreasadrenal glandspineal glandgonads

    More here: http://www.biology-online.org/dictionary/Endocrine_system

    The breast is (hopefully we can trust Wikipedia):

    The breast is an apocrine gland that produces milk to feed an infant child; for which the nipple of the breast is centred in (surrounded by) an areola (nipple-areola complex, NAC), the skin color of which varies from pink to dark brown, and has many sebaceous glands. For its offspring-feeding functions as a mammary gland, the lactiferous ducts that produce the fatty breast milk are distributed throughout the body of the breast; approximately two-thirds of the lactiferous tissue is within 30-mm of the base of the nipple.

    Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast

    Note: I did try to find out what apocrine is, but I am not THAT interested in the minutae of cytology - gave up after about two sentences.

    --Athena, who wishes she had found biology less boring at school OR hadn't needed to know so much due to health!

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