Happy Thanksgiving

everyminute
everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I have been thinking this morning about Thanksgiving's past -

There are the ones before I knew about cancer at all and thought we were all going to live forever and nothing was going to change. Oddly, they weren't always happy.  There was the family stress, travel,  the sick kids (why always on holidays?), trying to please everyone and be the "perfect family" for the day.

There were bittersweet and down right painful ones:

The one where first my mother in law was first ill and the first one with out her - our matriarch - stand out.  We gradually were happy again and able to celebrate, though it took time and was never quite the same.

We lost Joe's brother the year I was diagnosed - another hard year.  We were a little lost and I was so scared.  I ran my first post treatment 5k that day (a week after finishing chemo) and my dad cracked his head open - so we spent Thanksgiving in the ER.  Wasn't boring. 

The one before my dad died two years ago, we knew so much more, and knew it was his last, but were able to celebrate and enjoy the day with him.  He died 3 weeks later and those memories are so vivid - if I close my eyes I can still see him, singing Frank Sinatra songs, dancing in his wheel chair and raving about the food!  We were unsure until the day before, how we were going to get him home to our house for Thansgiving - so many limitations, his health, the wheelchair - but we did.

This Thanksgiving will be the first that we won't all be together. My oldest daughter will be with her boyfriends family (she will come home on Saturday and we will spend the day together).  We have organized a run for our friends and having everyone over for breakfast and then going to a friends for dinner.

It's still not perfect, I miss my Dad, my brother in law and my mother in law, but it's good.  Life is good.  I don't want perfect, I want real and happy. I have real and happy.

I hope you all have a real and happy Thanksgiving. 

PS - This wasn't meant to be as depressing as it ended up sounding. I am happy and I am thankful.

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Comments

  • MaxineO
    MaxineO Member Posts: 555
    edited November 2011

    Thanks, Mary.  So much sadness and happiness concentrated into one holiday. Last year, I was anxiously awaiting a lymph node biopsy scheduled a few days after Thanksgiving.

    But. There are always blessings.  And I agree. Life is good. Savor every moment with your loved ones. Even the messy emotional ones.  Happy Thanksgiving to you!

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  • KSteve
    KSteve Member Posts: 486
    edited November 2011

    I understand what you mean . . . I think the holidays have a new meaning for me.  Last year I was a couple months into chemo and somehow managed to still put on Thanksgiving dinner.  I just wanted everything to be as "normal" as possible for my kids.  It was an exhausting day and couldn't really enjoy the food.  This year, I am so excited to prepare the dinner and will thoroughly enjoy the food, the games, and my friends and family (and I have hair again!!).  I think I took the holidays for granted before cancer.  Now I'm going to live in the moment.

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

    Kathy

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited November 2011

    I get this one Everyminute.  I have my whole life to celebrate, but am especially grateful to have the holidays.  So major thanks this year.

    I do miss my parents though, and looking back, now wish that we had done more Thanksgivings with my parents as opposed to with my sister where my father stayed home.  But at least did the last Christmas together.

    I try to do something active with friends prior to the feast.  That gets me outdoors to celebrate the world around me.  Thankful for that time too.

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  • JadeGirl
    JadeGirl Member Posts: 35
    edited November 2011

    Happy Thanksgiving to you too!  What a lovely post.  I love your handle as it says it all - enjoy "everyminute" you can!!

    Last holiday I was emerging back into 'real life' following (what I thought would be) the last stages of treatment and had such a lovely time reconnecting with everyone - I admit, I was a 'chemo hermit'.  This year, I will be in the middle of my second time with this but I am determined to have an equally fab time - I had chemo today but told my husband there was NO WAY I would be missing out on the good things in life from now on.  Depending on how I am feeling, my "plan b" is to be propped up in a quiet corner and be woken up when the food is all ready...haha what a fab excuse not to have to cook this year!  

    Anyway, however you are spending it - Happy Thanksgiving all!

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited November 2011

    Great post Mary...I was going through chemo this time last year and my grandma might not have very much longer with us so, I'll be soaking up tomorrow with her.  Life changes and we must change with it.

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  • LoveLee
    LoveLee Member Posts: 13
    edited November 2011

    This post just got me thinking about last year.  Lets see...last year this time i was in the hospital getting my DMX.  I was sent home on a snowing like crazy Thanksgiving day!  I think the 100 mile ride home was the scariest part of the whole surgery lol. Last years holidays was the toughest one.  We had lost our dear granddaughter Summer, Dec.28 the year before of SIDS.  I remember thinking how hard it was going to be. I made it through surgery and the holidays. I am so thankful for my 3 Grandsons that since have been added to my family. Life does change.

    Happy Thanksgiving to all

    Vicky

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited November 2011

    It's kind of like life is what it is the good with the bad but alway ALWAYS so much to be thankful for... 100 things to be sad about 10000 things to thankful for!

    Happy thanksgiving:)!

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited November 2011

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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  • dood
    dood Member Posts: 17
    edited November 2011

    Hi Everyminute,

    Glad to know you are doing well.  I have not posted anything since I was diagnosed.  I was a stage III-A, Grade 2, 2.2 centimeters.  I have gained alot of weight and am always tired.  I admire you for staying in shape, that is what I need to do!!  I walked the treadmill tonight for just 1 mile and I am worn out, but I am going to keep it up because I know that this weight is not a good thing.  I had reconstruction twice on the left and am feeling a lump, will see my surgeon on Tuesday, the 29th.  The pectoral muscle is over the implant and it is on the left side.  I will keep you posted, will not really know till it is taken out, she operates on Fri and Monday so hopefully will know soon.  I was two years out on 7-31-2011.  It is certainly a worry, but maybe it is scar tissue because I have had to have the reconstruction done twice, the 2nd time was in March of 2011.  I think about you now and then because our stage, etc.. was the same.   You take care and will let you know as soon as I know.  Dood

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