How to stop the worrying?

I think the biggest factor is time.  It just takes time to get beyond what we've been through and to realize life can return to a new normal.  The concern will always be there, but it won't be as all-consuming as it is immediately after active tx ends.   It took me 2 years to realize that continuing to worry about a recurrence was stealing joy from today.  And if it never happens, then I would have wasted so much time for nothing.  Walking has proved a great way for me to know that I am doing something very positive for my body while boosting endorphines.  Also getting away for the weekend, out of my usual routine and around people who didn't know I've had bc has also helped re-energize me and get my thinking out of the bc rut.  But the biggest factor is time.  So be patient with yourself.  Don't expect to be exactly who you were before, because you've changed. But do expect to be happy again, because you will be.   (((Hugs)))   Deanna

I am also a worrier to the max.  I ended up seeing a therapist who was also a BC survivor so she understood my fears and worries.  Sometimes you need the validation that it is ok to worry after all we have been through so much.  I am also on Zoloft which I found really helped with my mood swings.

I hear ya. I'm a worrier too. (got it from my mom). You've gotten a lot of good advice, but here are a few random ideas that helped me.

--I talked to a BC counselor (also a BC survivor) which helped a ton. Also, she suggested I keep a journal  (get your worries on paper and out of your brain. Also, you can see, over time, that you're making progress in this "journey").

--I go to a guided imagery class for cancer patients/survivors. Similar to meditation, it helps calm the mind. I like the connection of the group but there are CDs/tapes if there isn't a class near you.  Maybe a yoga can help?

--I got a couple of books from the library on dealing with anxiety, and some of their ideas help. In terms of exercise, they suggested a decent cardio-vascular workout for 30 mins 3x/week. I'd been walking daily but their advice is that more intense walking (or other exercise) can be better. They had other practical tips, too, and exercises to help you identify your thought patterns and work through your specific concerns. They also had some ideas that sound good in theory but which I didn't try, like setting aside a specific period of time to worry each day and start to train yourself to not think about your concerns all day long (easier said than done).

--in times of intense worrying (i.e. waiting for test results) I take my DH's advice and try "distraction therapy." i.e. make a point to do something to get your mind off it.

Good luck. This is all so stressful.

jwilco, great, sounds like you have a lot of options. I was reluctant to call the counselor, too, (even though my local cancer support center offered 3 free sessions per patient). I've only talked to the counselor twice (once before starting rads; once a  few months after finishing Tx) and just those two conversations made a huge difference. Just an FYI. Good luck with everything. We'll be worrying, I mean, thinking about you.

In the past I've worried about a lot of things...maybe even worried myself into bc, yet, I don't seem to feel all that oncerned about it. I read a book.."The Power of Now" and it changed my thinking somewhat.  When something happens now I try to think.."It is what it is".  I can't control what has already happened...I can only control my reaction to it, and how I handle it going forward.

The tipping point for me with worry is always something that happens in the family and I become the go to person for all their "issues".  They always call just before bedtime to assure that I won't get sleep!  A person can only take so much and since my dx, I am trying hard to process that.  My DGD calls about a fight she had with her baby daddy and how she can't live with him anymore.  He yelled at her and threw a plate at her because she didn't cut his pizza when he asked her to.  She has no money, a rattle trap car, and her father ( my DS) is ignoring her.  I am going to call him and tell him he needs to step up to the plate, but I have my doubts that will help.

It's times like this when you just want to run away and leave no forwarding address!