Scanxiety (in verse, yet!)

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thePuppetLady
thePuppetLady Member Posts: 127
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment

'Tis the night 'fore my scan,

and all through my head,

run prickles of panic and feelings of dread.

This pain in my back

has been there all this year,

always reminding me of my constant fear.

With this MRI,

what will they find?

Will it light up

all over my spine?

As the hours tick by,

I've only one wish. ..

That all they will see

is just a slipped disc!

(yeah, the scan's tomorrow morning and I'm panicking.  Weird thing is, I appear to panic in verse, lol)

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  • BlueCowgirl
    BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
    edited November 2011

    *APPLAUSE* , you have made me a fan
    With the verse you wrote, fearing your scan
    I will hope that it's seen
    That your scan is quite clean 
    And your worry stops soon as it can

    My fears appear in
    Haiku, including fear of
    My upcoming scans

    Pentameter is also a good way
    To let you know the way I feel today
    My radiation blisters f-ing blow
    I might have mets...don't really want to know.
    But still I do give thanks for lots and lots
    Like xanax, percocet and morphine shots
    While Shakespeare I most certainly can't be
    I wish good luck - in rhyme - to you from me 

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  • thePuppetLady
    thePuppetLady Member Posts: 127
    edited November 2011

    thanks for the fabulous reply, Blue Cowgirl!  I actually laughed out loud!  You sure know how to sling a rhyme, babe!

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  • thePuppetLady
    thePuppetLady Member Posts: 127
    edited November 2011

    Well, the results are in and I am pleased...

    My mind is calm, my fears are eased.

    The only real problem that they could find,

    is that I have arthritis of the spine.

    But they found a couple of spots, as little as could be..

    Not sure what they are, so hard to see..

    Just two little spots....wait... o geez!

    I think they just found my car keys.   :P

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  • BlueCowgirl
    BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
    edited November 2011

    So glad to hear the good news of your scan
    'Twas just arthritis? Shit, girl, you the man!
    I have arthritis in my backbone, too
    Which had me thinking "METS!", the same as you!
    But just because you know you're good, my friend...
    That's no excuse for cancer rhymes to end! 

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  • BlueCowgirl
    BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
    edited November 2011

    This one goes out to all the cancer newbies
    Who just found out they have lumps in their boobies
    You'll learn a lot on breast cancer dot org
    Hey - I just learned that nothing rhymes with org!
    Or maybe I'm just too worn out to rhyme
    I'll have to try again another time
    Might even start my own boob poem thread!
    But not tonight, it's time for pills and bed. 

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  • thePuppetLady
    thePuppetLady Member Posts: 127
    edited November 2011

    I'm da man, lol....:D

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  • amontro
    amontro Member Posts: 504
    edited November 2011

    I like the word "scanxiety" and I've already used it. My CTscan is Thursday and I've been on edge since last week.  Glad you came out mostly ok.

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  • Mandalala
    Mandalala Member Posts: 162
    edited November 2011

    I discovered this late

    but it's just great!

    There is a word that rhymes with org

    but are there any bc Borg?

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  • BlueCowgirl
    BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
    edited November 2011

    This here's a holla
    To Ms. Mandalala~

    Of BC Borgs I'm not aware
    Would BC Borgs lose all their hair
    In Chemo like we ladies do?
    And would narcotics stop their poo?
    And would they need to take sleep meds
    Or other stuff for stressed Borg heads?
    I tend to think that they would not
    Nor would they have to score some pot
    Cause Borgs cannot get stomach aches
    Those BC borgs catch all the breaks! 
    And what about Borg Radiation?
    Can a Borg even have an Operation?
    A Borg with a Mastectomy?
    A Borg with Adriamycin pee? 
    A Borg that wears a headwrap scarf?
    A Borg that takes a Chemo barf?
    I find this concept hard to buy
    I think the BC Borg's a lie
    I also think I've kinda lost it
    Wrote the poem, but shoulda tossed it...
    And so my friends, I bid adieu 
    With Borgless healing thoughts for you.

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  • Mandalala
    Mandalala Member Posts: 162
    edited November 2011

    Laughing

    For BlueCowgirl – an answer:

    If the Borg would get cancer

    it would have an enhancer

     

    The original lump would appear in the chest

    of the queen of the Borg, to later infest

    each and every Borg alive

    in the entire hive

     

    The metastatic tumours

    would spread around like rumours

    Resistance would be futile

    but Borgs would not spew bile

     

    Unless Seven of Nine

    had mets on her spine

    the Borg wouldn't panic

    as their hive mind is mechanic

     

    Their boobs would just be disconnected

    and like you already suspected

    there would be no use for pot

    as they wouldn't feel a lot

     

    So – could cancer really hit the Borg?

    Look for the answer at breastcancer.org! 

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  • changes
    changes Member Posts: 622
    edited November 2011

    You all are too funny! Thanks for the laughs :)

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  • BlueCowgirl
    BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
    edited November 2011

    Ode to the Cancer Borg Queen

    Cancer Borg, hear my cry,
    You can never, ever die
    You are needed by your hive
    So you have to stay alive

    And to pass this grueling test
    Here is what I must suggest
    Squeeze some lemon on your boobs
    Eat all macrobiotic foods
    Alighn your chakras, do it right
    OR else you'll never win this fight.

    I learned this on another thread
    I forget the name...I have chemo-head
    But if you follow to a T
    You'll live forever, sincerely -Me 

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  • BlueCowgirl
    BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
    edited November 2011

    As you can see I scrapped the rhyme above
    It wasn't something anyone would love
    And yet I feel the need to celebrate Queen Borg
    And show it to you all on this here .org
    I'll try until I finally make it right
    Til then I bid you peeps and borgs good night. 

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  • Mandalala
    Mandalala Member Posts: 162
    edited November 2011

    I liked it a lot, anyway

    but of course it's the author's say

    So in eager anticipation

    we await the queen's celebration :-)

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  • crystalphm
    crystalphm Member Posts: 1,138
    edited November 2011

    Nothing about cancer has made me smile, but you poets have managed to make even the ultra serious me smile...

    Sorry no rhyme,

    Maybe next time :-)

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  • BlueCowgirl
    BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
    edited November 2011

    Crystalphm: makes me happy to say
    That this thread brightened somebody's day
    And although all our Cancer can suck
    We can still smile, still love, and still...

    wait for it...


    write bad poetry online
      

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