For Older People with Sense

I feel so sorry for all of you who are having family problems...I don't feel so alone now !!!

Seems a lot of us are walking on eggshells when it comes to DILs....they can be problematic...I hate that I have to keep on the 'right side' of mine...she holds the key to my son and his children (theirs, actually !) so I have to keep her on side, when I pretty much always feel like drowning her !! I find a VERY much easier relationship with my Grandsons girlfriends...2 really super girls. One a real worker and homemaker, and the other different, QUITE, QUITE ditsy, and always made up to the nines.....but I love them both. They both will call in and see me, chat to me on FB, and quite often go out of their way to make time for me....always include me if they are having a get together...always remember my birthday...in fact I can't fault them . WHY can't DIL proper be that way ???

I'm also very lucky with my SIL...he's a lovely person...I have known him since he was about 12, he's (about) 45 now. 

Alyson...I admire you for taking in an elder sister... must be HARD work for you....don't think I could do it permanently, a week would be enough with my sister. She is a housework control freak, can't leave so much as a mug about. Everything has to be put away, and she cleans just about the whole house daily...luckily she has a small place, so can do this. She would have a field day in my rambling old house.....or a heart attack, as she'd never get round it in a day. She is younger than me by 7 years, but way too bossy for me. We have a sort of 'prickly' relationship, and walk around one another like a pair of cats....I let it go now, but when I was dx'd she never came near me, and she's only a half hour car ride away from me. She emailed, but never gave me any practical help.....I could have done with a couple of sisterly chats ( and that's ALL!!) and a bit of ironing !!...but nothing. Families !

I had a real argument with the hospital today. I rang to see what the continuing holdup was with my neurosurgery appointment, and was told I had been taken 'OFF' the list, and was now down at the bottom of the queue, as I had NOT TURNED UP at my last three appointments. I was only there about 5-6 weeks ago. I couldn't argue as I couldn't find my appointment letters right at that moment. I wasn't expecting them to come up with this, and was told they were right, and I had refused my last 3 appointments. I tried to point out that this was totally wrong, but some clever little madam was talking over me and telling me the hospital was right. I hadn't the fight in me this afternoon..... funnily enough I have a bad back, and it was playing me up !!!!..... Not sure where to start with a complaint now, will start ringing around in the morning. Trouble is these things take so long to get sorted out, and my walking is getting worse by the week.

Time to go have a shower and get to bed now. I am having an early night...well, its 11pm.... that's early for me.

Isabella.

Ginger....LOL at your post....Even if they do need to relieve themselves during the day, they could surely stop at a gas startion or restaurant rather than using your yard!!!   I will be back to write some more to the rest of you all later....You make me happy I have no children, just pets to deal with I feel very tired so am going to bed.  Since it is my normal habit to get up in the middle of the night anyway, I will just be getting a head start of my sleep. 

Jazz be sure to go to the store where you bought the sewing machine and get lessons, all that you need should be free with the purchase. You may be a computer guru but I certainly am not and couldn't do any of this without instruction. I hope you have a lot of fun. I go for my second class thursday. I need to pin down the instructor for my lessons just for me to get going on all the elements of the machine. Since my concentration isnt so great I am sure I will need a lot of help.

Yes, I am hoping for that cure too! 

I sure don't want my daughter or granddaughters going through this. What seems manageable for me sounds like torture when I consider my loved ones having to go through it themselves. 

{{{{{{{Barbe}}}}}}}

I'm so sorry.

Next time, maybe you should only invite Older People With More Sense. 

~lulubee 

Isabella: I cannot believe this crappoollaa!!! you gotta find the papers! i wetntthru that, with appts, this week, but i always put them in my wallet, as soon as they're on out "MASTER" calendar.. since bc; i've needed a clandar to keep track!

   Im so sorry so many of us are having such troubles with family, and that i started it.. i got so crazy last year, and i thought with some planning, i could avoid the drama this year; but it's not going to work..

   i spent some time with my son tonight, and we are NOt going to see the grands for the week os xmas, nor the week before, nor the week after... and its NOT my DIL its my son!!!!  she's really lovely.. told me she'd "sneak" us the kids sometime.. anyway..... i'm just gonna take muscle relaxants, and sleep even mre, i guess. won't be going thru any decorating, thats for sure.. more for good will.  he's throwing us a bone, and we can see them xmas morn, but early, as they need to see the family(????) for brunch. i don't know if i can, but i'll kill myself trying. it woln't be long, if its like last year, anyway..

   so, now i know, and don't have to "anx" anymore.. we'll try and make some plans.. Murs' off for those 2 weeks!!!it really suxs that he's so selfish.. how do they get raised one way, and turn the other.. retohrecal.. i know they do their own thingarrrrrrgh...

   so, im going to try, try, try to "let it go".....

   anybody hear from chrissy? haven't seen her lately...................3jays

I HATE when people use kids as pawns...in a divorce or in the situations we are dealing with now. It just hurts the kids!! 3jays, you and me will chat on Christmas Day! I decided last night that I'm not putting up a tree. Why? A LOT of work up AND down...and for what??? For me to look at? We put one up in our last house because our neighbours asked why we didn't one year. It was the year my Dad was dying (died on Jan 1st), but I didn't feel we had to explain! Made me realize they watched us more than I realized. Here, no one sees it as our livingroom is at the back of the house.

Isabella, tell them you live alone - you DO - and were bedridden with pain and out of your mind in agony and had no one to take you to the appointments and in your derlium didn't even realize the dates had passed. I believe the 'living alone' part is your ticket. Most people have at least one person at home with them, you have dogs...lucky you!!!! I have you in my prayers to get it done NOW!!! Remind them of the MRI issues, too!

Well, I guess it could  have been worse and they could have just sent you a thank you note. 

Jazz, I envying your new embroidery machine!  Hope it turns out to be easy to use.  Re:  the Ozzie and Harriet fam.--my DD1 just bought a new house and now wants to do all the holidays at her place.  The thing is, I complain but I really do like doing it here.  If she takes over the whole thing it's like oen of my big purposes in life is over.  Never thought I'd ever look at it like that!  Real reason to do it at our house?  We get to eat the leftovers.  I conceded and she will do Christmas but I'm still doing Thanksgiving.  (Oh that leftover stuffing!)

The story of the cranberry sauce:  my kids only want the jellied kind that comes out looking like a can.  That's what they always had growing up and that's what they still want.  So much for the Martha Stewart cran-orange recipe.  Why is this an issue?  We talked about this for over an hour the other night on conference call.  Oh well, it's better than talking about politics!!

Love and good fall food to all.  Pretty soon I'll get up the energy to get dressed.

Dragon 

Morning all

Jazz, I have a quilting and embroidery machine and  still don't really know how to use it. Have done one or two things but musthave some more lessons. 

Waited around at the court again yesterday, then was excused because the jury they were selecting was a new one for the same trial as Monday nad of course it was the same judge. So off I went and spent my jury allowance hehe - getting a few presents for Christmas.

Today I am very stiff and sore as I fell over again, this time I was holding baby GS and so twisted so to protect him, landed on my side on a table then to the floor. At least last time it was private, this time it was in a cafe. Can hardly walk and the LE under my arm is really up - thats were I hit myself.

Leah, you talk about fussy eaters, DD1 was that and I was as well, there are still a lot of things I don't eat. 

I must get dressed as I have groceries to get - don't fancy that but DH is away so will just have to go.

Hope you all have a good day.

Hi

Thanks I will try the cabbages I have always wanted to do that. Do you think they would be alright in containers or do they need to be in the ground. Pansies also sound great!   

Yes, The guys do arrange their packages however, we have space in front of the house where they all deliver, often rearrange their packages, and then circle around.  I even know the different sounds between the package area and the doors closing. One fellow did his usual delivery routine in front of the house and then opened the door on the other side and hopped out going off into the woods on that side. We cannot see any other house or road from anywhere on the mowed part of the property. I suppose it looks convenient to the guys.  Where I sit during the day is just on the other side of a front facing window with a shrub just outside. I probably should have said that I have seen this before and didn't call. I have been feeling that it is getting to the point where I wondered if all the various drivers were collaborating on where the best pit stops were at!

I get a lot of packages since I pretty well stopped shopping in stores once I moved out here. 

Of interest my DD told me her friends husband drives for UPS and her friend told her that their time schedule is such that they get bonuses for speedy delivery.  So they unoffically keep a jar in the truck for nature's calls. I think that could cause careless driving to hurry to make a bonus.

I am not trying to be fussy but it is getting extreme and I was venting.

Barbe...what a hellish meal for you ! I used to get some of mine cancelling, but NOT at that short notice, had you made a big spread, and gone to big expense ? This falls under the category of unthinking children and other assorted relatives !!! I don't very often get all my family together now. At 60 I refused to cook anymore, so Christmas holidays now I have gone to DDs. I miss all the excitement of decorating the house and making Christmas Dinner ( the one meal I looked forward to cooking, and the one meal I always forgot something!! we used to muddle thru'... something like the Christmas Pud. forgotten, but always found something in the cupboard to replace it ) It was soooo bad mannered of your relatives not to cancel earlier than they did.

Ginger I use lots of winter flowering pansies and violas, and sometimes stick a small hebe in the tubs for contrast. Grdnslve mentioned fancy cabbages, good idea here, as they'd naturally be outside in winter....must try this. I fight with the cats for a week or two after planting up the troughs, they think I have provided them with new toilets, often find the odd pansy flipped out of the trough ! I put some violas in about 6 weeks ago, and they are flowering their little hearts out, look lovely.

Alyson...be careful...easy to say as I have a habit of tripping up. Be careful NOT to make a big thing of it with DD , or she might start and think twice before leaving GS with you !!!

Re: UPS guy...daren't try and look back to see who was telling that story as I'll lose everything . I really had to laugh at this...tickled my fancy ! But, living a bit isolated, as I do as well, you watch things a bit more carefully and need to know what people are spending extra time on your property for.....even if it's just a couple of extra minutes.

Jazz....hope you get the embroidery machine sorted out. I wouldn't mind a go with one of those, but can't ever see me getting the hang of it. I STILL have my brand spanking new DVD machine sat looking at me, it's been there about 8 weeks now, and I have absolutely not a cat in h*lls chance of ever understanding it. I am sooo mad I wasted the money on it. I kept telling various members of the family 'I'll never get the hang of it', and no-one listened, they all poo-poo'd me and said 'Of course you WILL' I paid for a lesson from the shop I bought it from. Just couldn't understand them at all...the man who installed it and showed me what to do left saying 'my grandad can do it, you'll will as well' Well, I haven't !!!!!!!!!!!

Leah, I wish they'd take all our youngsters away for two years. I think it was about 1960 when we did away with National Service....then they only took the young men away for a year in the Army. The youngsters today need sorting out, their morals and manners altering, and some sense knocking into their heads. They are so brash and clever, and don't give a damn for anyone or anything....girls as well as boys. I also feel very sorry for them as there just aren't any jobs, or apprenticeships about...so they don't have purpose at all. We just send them off back to college for stupid courses on nail art, dance and worst of all 'media studies' NONE of which lead to employment. Luckily my two G/sons 23 and 19 have good jobs. Older lad is a partner in his parents garage, and younger one works for a motorbike franchise, running their online spares for them, and works for me part time. I also have a G/daughter, who is 23 and she works in admin. in a hospital. She was all set to go off to the police training school 3 years ago, then a young man got in the way, she wouldn't go and take up her place, now she has split up with him and has forgotten about her police ambitions. At least they all are in employment, so many young ones aren't.

I am on the midnight shift tonight, or that should be graveyard shift. I had 2 of my dogs getting very decrepit in summer, didn't think they'd see Autumn, but they have limped along. One on heart tablets has rallied quite a bit...so much so that she is back sleeping in kennels with all the others at night. The other one had slowly declined, getting thinner and thinner, but still going off out for a walk round the garden, still eating her evening meal, so I have let her start to fade at her own pace. Last night she ate her meal as normal, but suddenly, today, she cannot stand, eat or drink....I don't think she will see morning. She is still aware I am there, but she doesn't really want to know, and is fading fast. She is in no pain and sleeping, so I am hoping she will just not wake up again. These dogs, they will kill me !

Off for a shower to wake me up a bit to get me thru' the night.

Isabella.

ginger--by all means put the pansys & ornamental cabbage in pots.   they are fine in the ground too, but can look quite festive in pots.

we live on a lake & it is quite bizarre what people will do right out in the open when they seem to think they are far enough away from people.  nor does it occur to them that people living in rural areas like to watch the wildlife & birds, and use binoculars and telescopes.  there once was a girl who thought she had found the perfect abandoned dock across the lake to sunbathe in the nude, until ds friend mentioned to her as she was getting in her car that they really enjoyed the show.  no wonder his buddies were hanging out here all the time.

Isabella, we posted together - go back up to my last post and see how you feel about it. I'm so sorry about your dying baby, but that kind of balances the new one coming in....right? I have a cat so bad that we just buy 2 food tins at a time. We mostly leave her alone, but she comes to us to be patted and exhaulted over then goes back to her pillow.

Dragonflymary, you get LEFTOVER stuffing???? How??? I've never managed that even when I broke down and started making it with the boxed stuff!!

Alyson, I am TERRIFIED of falling while holding one of my grands. I know I would fall to protect the little one, but even my DD freaks out when I'm on the stairs. I'm the kind of person who puts one foot, then the other on the step  (to have two feet on one step).

Jazz most of the new machines have a mechanical needle threader. You just wrap the thread around the gadget that pulls down, release the gadget and voila! There is a loop of thread through the eye of the needle! Pull it through and you're good to go.

Ginger, every time you say "arrange their packages", to me they're still doing their nature call! heheehe

Hi Chrissy....remembering the drive we made through the Ft. Rosecrans

National Cemetery here with you

it always amazes me