WHY would I put myself through this?

LadyGrey, it sounds like you are regaining your sense of humor, something that will serve you well on this journey.

My thought has always been that I wanted to do everything I could medically to beat it, plus everything I could do in the complimentary/life style way....combining those would give me the best shot.....it isn't an either/or type of thing to me.

Remember we are all lay-people here. We can give you our experiences, our points of view, our biases; but you need find a really good medical team whom you trust and who knows all the particulars of your unique health situation....ask questions from what you read here; but don't do, or not do anything, solely based on what you read here.

I can't stand green tea either!

What if you just eat the honey and skip the tea altogether?

LadyGray,

I thought I couldn't go through the chemo, mastectomy and radiation I was originally prescribed.

And then it turned out I was stage IV and didn't have to do any of those things.

Now when I think back, I think how lucky I would have been to be able to go through all this and be cured in the end.

So, beware what you wish for. 

Things could be much much worse that a chemo. Don't procrastinate starting your treatment because with this desease time is of the essence and the clock cannot be turned back.

LadyGray,

I made my choices when I procrastinated and didn't get checked on time. I was sure cancer couldn't happen to me and the thought of metastases didn't even cross my mind.

I don't find other people's choices frustrating.

What I find frustrating is that yet another person can get themselves in a bad situation because they don't understand the seriousness of the consequences.

LadyGrey:  I've been following this thread with interest, as I understand your quandary.  I had a mastectomy, after no clear margins were achieved with a lumpectomy.  I hasten to add that my surgeon would have performed a re-excision, but I knew that my boobs would be so mismatched (!) anyhow, so I opted for a mastectomy.  I was clueless as to what prosthetics were available to me.....

Then the time came to decide on chemo -- to do or not to do.  Yes, my onc gave me a choice.  Based on "statistics" (I live in Canada and the oncotype DX was not available to me), the difference was not terribly significant and I initially said "Nope, not gonna do it".

Ultimately, I decided to have chemo, followed up by an aromatase inhibitor (Femara) for five years.  For me, there was always that "What if I didn't, and the cancer came back?" question in the back of my head.  How would I feel about that?  But that's just me -- always doubting myself.

Will the surgery, the chemo and the AI be enough to keep the beast from recurring?  I don't know, nor does anyone on these boards know.  My onc doesn't know, the bc researchers don't know.  All I (or they) can do is hope that cancer doesn't recur.  Statistics say I have a good chance of dying from something else, or even maybe old age!  But, as one famous person (can't remember who)  has said "there are lies, damn lies, and statistics"......

What I'm saying is that you have to do what feels right, and what you feel (currently) will have been the right decision a year, two years, five years from now.  I wish you only the best, along with the knowledge that what you did was the right thing for you.  Because, believe me, none of US knows what is the right thing for you.

Hugs,  Linda 

Eve - not what I wanted to hear about wornoutmom - maybe if she hadn't procrastinated with treatment she wouldn't be in this situation. I'm very sorry to hear this news, very sorry.

Sue

We each have to make decisions as to what we feel is best for ourselves. I hope for those who decline traditional treatment, that they never see this ugly disease again. I just want to say this....once it goes to stage 4...there are no more stages and it is no longer curable. Is it so wrong to treat the cancer you now have with drugs etc and do the natural stuff to hopefully ward it off from returning? The natural may very well prevent cancer but what about the cancer you already have? With great respect to all, Mazy

CookieGal - the risk of node negative HER2 recurring is 23% - chemo/herceptin halves that - big benefit IMHO. If I hadn't been HER2 - chemo/herceptin would not have been on the cards.

LadyGray, I was lst diagnosed in 1990.   I am not going to bore you with details of my years with cancer and treatments, but I was one who was never going to do chemo.  And I was fortunate enough to be able to avoid it for many years ( at least 8 or 9 forget now) since I was ER+, PR+ and responded favorably to hormonal treatments.  Then my onco sort of eased me into chemo because by that time I had found that even though I was Stage lV, I could live with cancer with a good quality of life.....lst we did oral and then moved on to the infusions.   I did have the oozy smelly nails you mentioned, but that was only with one chemo....I also had constantly tearing eyes and neuropathy and edema and a bunch of other stuff, .....but when the side effects got too bad, I told my onco I was done with that treatment and we moved on to another one....and I am fortunate in that none of my side effects have really stayed with me.  I do have some neuropathy, but it doesnt keep me from doing things and I still am able to work.  I had a very strage SE with my eyelashes in that they now grow toward my eye and scratch my cornea if I don't have them plucked out about every three weeks in this one area, but that is NOT a normal SE.....it's a PIA, but a small price to pay for life when you look at the big picture.  As I said earlier, I do not want to bore you with my treatment history, but the point is I found that chemo, the thing I said I would NEVER do has kept me alive. Is it fun, NO.....is it worth it?....well, that all depends on you I guess. I am still here after almost 14 years of being Stage lV and I am still enjoying my life so it has been worth it for me. Right now I am waiting for them to come up with a new treatment plan for me and I am hoping it doesn't interfere with the Xmas parties I plan on having.....If it does, I have understanding friends and they will help me with the party or maybe I will have to put them off until after the lst of the year.....however, I do plan on being here next year and that is a good thing. I always have things planned ahead and that gives me something to look forward to and keeps me going.

Hearing you have cancer is overwhelming and not too many positive things go through your head in the beginning (at least they did not with me), but I am of the opinion that it is doable....and this is coming from one who was never going to do chemo.

So far as alternative treatments, I know nothing about them as I have not done any.  I really have not even altered my diet other than the fact I seldom ever have a drink, but that is because the desire is no longer there for some reason.   I did quit smoking, but that was something I needed to do anyway.

I am not telling you what you should or should not do, that is your  decision, but I just wanted you to know that for me treatment was worth it and the reason I put myself through it was because I just was not ready to give up living yet.  Tell your onco exactly what your feelings are and hopefully they will have some options for you that will not have devestating side effects. 

I received a PM from another BCO member, and I wanted to post my response to her.  Yes, my posts can be confrontational on this issue, of extolling natural alternatives that are supposedly just as efficacious as conventional treatment, but I really do have no intention of ceasing from calling other members out on lies that they may propagate.  Yes, of course everyone has a choice, everyone is in ultimate control of their own bodies.  It would be absurd for anyone to think that they can be forced into a treatment they don't want.  But it is equally important to understand that all choices have implications, no matter what they are.  Pretending that these choices are all equal is just sticking your head in the sand.  

Here's my response to the other member: 

I appreciate your comments, I really do.  But when there are blatant lies, such as there are natural alternatives to chemo which are just as effective or that all cancer has been growing in one's bodies for years (these are just the most recent flat out lies posted by a member), I really have no intention of not continuing to call them out.  We're not playing a little dance here, it's not this sweet "educate before I medicate" and all choices are equal kind of game.  For both impositive, and the poor woman that eve mentioned most recently (who played the natural game and is now stage IV), cancer marches on.  And yes, time is an issue.  It would be naive to also say that I'll do this one choice now and then if it gets worse later, then I'll consider something else.  I wish that's how it worked, but it doesn't.  When you've got to later stages, you've lost most of your opportunity.  While it sounds really nice that all choices are created equal and we must at all times maintain control of our bodies at all times, the horse is already out of the barn when you've been diagnosed with cancer. To maintain that it isn't and then try to persuade other women that there are better, more "natural" alternatives out there, is deadly, to me.  Sure, everyone has a choice.  But members also have the same right to outline the implications of both choices, conventional or totally alternative.  Foregoing conventional treatment (in this case Herceptin) and pretending that you're fine with that and will just deal with the cancer later if you have to, is totally naive.  Dealing with the later stages of cancer is tortuous, painful, a really dreadful way to go.  To pretend that one is just going to ride off into the sunset and die this nice peaceful death is an outright lie.  I wish it weren't, and these are all absurd choices that one has to make, but I have no interest in watching as another member perpetuates a lie.  No treatment, or totally alternative treatment, has consequences as well.  

By the way, if one were to do a full search of my posts on BCO, one would find that I actually have a very nice, non-confrontational personality when it comes to other topics.  But no, I'm not going to just sit by while lies are perpetuated on this one issue. 

With regard to how my post here relates to the original poster's comments, I will again say that I'm just calling people out if there are blatant lies.  She is obviously entitled to her own choices, of course!  But again, to think that you're going to just ride off into the sunset is also an illusion. All these choices suck, but they all have implications.  She has a right to at least be entitled to the facts for whichever choice she chooses.

Ladygrey,

I dont know all the stuff on my pathology report, but I can definitely relate to your quandries. Why put mysel through horrible stuff if I will live 5 years and if I dont put myself through it live 5 years? at least those 5 years wouldnt be quiteso bad.......fought with it alot- almost decided not to, but I have a 15 yr old and a 20 yr old that love me dearly, my 22 year old and 3 grandkids would be great reasons to keep going, but my oldest hates me dues to past transgressions. (Long story- lets just say battles won and not a issue now) I havealready started my first round of chemo, so i guess im gonna try to fight this crap. Good luck to you and hugs. lots and lots- I hope you have strong friends and family to support you.in whichever decision u make (beach sounds good lol))

Connie

Voraciousreader made me remember this website which I found very helpful when I was learning about breast cancer - LINK - it reviews much of the information that has been published about hormone therapy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, surgery and much more.  The chemotherapy section for early breast cancer starts about half way down the page. 

It was compiled by Constantine Kaniklidis who did a superb job in reviewing the information out there.  She also has a page about drug interactions - LINK