Worried about ovarian mets...

Just thought I would post an update...  Met with the gyn onc and my medical onco the other day.  The good news is that the ovary and fallopian tube the surgeon took were benign, but it turns out that the one he took WASN'T the one with the mass!  I was shocked to learn this--as was my regular onco who said that he feels that we still don't have any real answers.

I was even more surprised to learn that the "bad" one wasn't biopsied at all--he said he would have had to remove the ovary.  He did say that when he was in there, the ovary that it's in was large, but that it looked smaller than it had on the scans.  And he said that he would expect it to get bigger if it had a malignancy in it.  And where my other oncos and gyns were concerned that the mass had formed a blood supply that runs through the middle of it, he said that doesn't mean anything, so I guess that's a positive (though I still don't feel terribly reassured!).  And he said that no matter what he would have taken at least the ovary/tube he took because it was so big and full of so many septated cysts.  Still, though, I knew in my heart that that one was fine, so I almost feel like the surgery was pointless.   Especially since I still have many of the same symptoms I had before the surgery and still have a belly full of fluid.

My onco read part of the surgical report to me yesterday before I left and said that the gyn onc stated that he would have removed both ovaries/tubes and the uterus, but that he was doing what he could to preserve an ovary during the surgery because of the instant loss of estrogen AND because he believed that I hadn't made peace with losing the opportunity to have another child.  He thought that removing both at once would be physically and emotionally damaging to me.  So I guess the gyn onc was trying to do me a favor?  But after reading this, my medical onco did not seemed pleased with me and asked, "Did you tell him you wanted another baby?!"  We've talked about this at length before & he's made it clear that he thinks I should have let that go of the 'baby' idea soon after the diagnosis, so I think his focus shifted from the surgeon to me by the end of the appointment.  I guess I should have been more clear about accepting the decision to do what was safest with the surgery since I know that even if everything turned out really well, having another baby just isn't realistic just given that I have another 4 1/2 years left on Tamoxifen & there's talk of putting me on an AI after that, and ALL of my hormonal levels are in the menopausal range with the exception of a really elevated Estradiol level, so I probably couldn't even have a baby if I tried.   

After seeing him yesterday, though, he set me up for an ultrasound tomorrow, so I'm hoping that will give more clarification.

Thanks so much for listening...  Now I feel like it will all be benign in the end, but I REALLY didn't have that feeling before the surgery.  It was all of your support that helped me through.  You all helped me more than you'll ever know!!!    

Thanks so much, Susan!  I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving...  :-)