MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Good luck at the band festival all those with kids participating.  My oldest played baritone horn in the band from 4th grade through 12th.  I always enjoyed the football games, concerts and festivals.  Miss those, although I always did enjoy the end of the marching season.  LOL

I might as well chime in that I think the pic is a bird's nest, but that has already beeb guessed.

Hi, all. New here, and learning so much from all of you. I'm 48. and just had rt. mastectomy and will be starting TCH in December. Planning delayed reconstruction with lat flap after chemo. Feeling pretty overwhelmed and just soaking up the wisdom here on how to get through this. Hard to get rid of the surreal feeling. Helps also to hear about how you are are dealing with others' reactions and stupid comments.

Just stopped by to see the mystery pic.....I know someone already guessed it, but I also think it looks like a bird's nest. 

darlam

Welcome

This a wonderful group of ladies.They have helped me lot just reading there messages everyday.Just ask any question....someone will have the answer ....or find it:)Hang in there

darlam sorry you have to join us here but it is a great place to come for support. 

I changed my bandage today and boy am I bruised.  But Dr did say it was in a hard spot.  I was able to switch to tylenol today.  Still pretty sore but not horrible pain.  Took a shower which made me feel better.  DH took me to Walmart to get some bandages and then went to the nursery to get a couple of plants.  Came home and went to bed, got up when a friend brought by some food and flowers ate a bite then went back to bed for a couple more hours.  Guess my body needs the rest to heal.  Then one of my childhood best friends called me and she wonders why I don't like telling her things.  She crys and carries on like I am dying.  She is one of those that her whole life is full of drama.

darlam welcome to the group.  So sorry we have to meet this way.  If you have any questions, just ask.  We all know what its like when you have tons of them, so dont be afraid to post away.

Sherry still praying for B9 results.  Take care!!!

Darlam - so sorry you've joined our little "club." But this is a place where you'll find answers to your questions, support, and a shoulder to cry on when you need it.

Sherry - Take it easy, please. Rest up. Keeping fingers and toes crossed for B9 results.

Valjean - Congrats on 3 years. I don't know whether I mentioned DISH status on this thread or another BCO thread. DISH stands for - Damn I'm Still Here! That's damn in a good way It was started by Musa Mayer from the BC listserve. She's also the author of "Examining Myself, One Woman's Story of Breast Cancer Treatment and Recovery" - one of the first and most helpful books I read after being diagnosed. She also wrote. "Advanced Breast Cancer: A Guide to Living with Metastatic Disease."

Anyway, back to DISH status. Originally, you earned DISH status when you reached 5 years since diagnosis. She also came up with very tongue-in-cheek rights, privileges and rewards for women who have reached this status. Women, less than 5 years from diagnosis, clamored for recognition as well, so Musa came up with a DISH level for everyone. At 3 years post diagnosis, you've reached the DISH HAHA level ("Hot as hell always.") New HAHA's will receive a year's membership at Jenny Craig, a 35,000 BTU through-the-wall air conditioner, and a walk-in freezer. You'll have the opportunity to shop for a new wardrobe from Tropical Designs, Antigua."

MP looks like the wood-chipped floor of a rodents cage.

Just feeling sad today. I find that I am discouraged, not encouraged by posts of "15 year survivors" and such. I want to think that I am going to travel this incredibly difficult road and then put this experience behind me; instead what I am realizing is that it will never really be over, and that a large number of people do experience recurrence, even when you are node/mets negative, and do all the tx, etc. etc. That is not a good feeling. Having said that, I realize that I "should" be grateful that I have a good chance at a significant number of more years of full living; and that others with more progressive stages of disease than mine would be thrilled to trade diagnoses with me. So then I feel guilty that I am grieving my breast, the awful year to come, my loss of health and relative youth.....I just feel like I am going to feel like a 75 yr old instead of a 48 yr old for whatever years I do have left and wonder if it is worth it. Can't seem to stop crying today. And oh, yeah, if I could just get this darned surgical drain out so I could MOVE....who knew that would be the thing that makes me the most crazy right now? Again, I'm sure there's much worse to come, but right now that's the thing just pushing me over the edge. Sorry, ladies, just needed a place to whine.

Darlam: I wish I had known about this site when I was at your stage. I had no whining location or shoulder; my wonderful husband is a gift I received after I was finished treatment. Keep coming back!

darlam,



I for one would never trade my dx with anyone (I would be glad to give it up altogether though).



Never apologize for your feelings. No matter what stage you are this whole journey is scary, especially in the beginning.



Things will get easier for you once you have a treatment plan. Does your cancer center have a social worker you can talk to? Maybe you can get a referral from your doctor. I find it helps to talk things out (I download on my BFF). You might even consider a low dose anti-depressent if talking it out doesn,t totally help. Also check and see if there are any group meetings you can go to, it migHt help to speak to others in the same boat in person.

Reesie:

Thanks. Again, I don't mean to be insensitive to those with even more serious diagnoses. My cousin's husband is in the terminal stages of brain metastases, and like I said, I feel guilty even being sad about my own situation. 

I do have a treatment plan. I have already had surgery; Rt mx. and I will start TCH on 12/1. Yes, it is better having the answers (finally)...it is quite a waiting game just to get to that point, isn't it? Took 5 weeks from diagnosis to surgery because no one agreed on the plan, biopsy didn't fit with clinical picture, etc etc. 

I don't think my cancer center has a social worker, but I already see a therapist and am on Effexor due to mild depression which was very well managed...until now. 

The cancer center does have a breast cancer support group BUT I will not be attending due to the fact that the nurse who facilitates them is also the one who handles counseling and coordination of BRCA results. Long story, but let's just say that my surgery was waiting to be scheduled based on these results and she couldn't be bothered to follow through appropriately. She actually lied to me about returning my phone calls and admitted it when I confronted her. I formally complained and she was aware of this. I don't think attending her support group would be helpful to me:(

darlam - this forum has helped me through the last 8 months - I can't say enough good about it.  There are many subjects to look through, many people to ask question - it's a place to vent, cry, & rejoice.  I do have lots of help from my DH & DD (who's a 13-yr BC survivor) & DS but here is where I come for the tough discussions - the subjects that would upset my family.  Whether someone has a "worse" or "better" cancer makes no difference - cancer is cancer.  This forum keeps me as grounded & sane as possible.  I'm sorry you're here but glad to meet you & glad you found this forum - hope to chat with you often.