WHY would I put myself through this?

I agree with hrf! You may only need surgery and possibly rads. DCIS isn't treated with chemo so you dodged that bullet without realizing it!!! Keep us posted on what treatment you are offered. We're here for you...

LadyGrey - take a look at this study - it proves the benefits of chemo/herceptin for small node negative cancers

http://jco.ascopubs.org/content/28/28/e541

Did you have any positive nodes? I know it's a tough decision because it's based on something that is unknown and invisible.

I wanted to tell you about my sister's experience with Chemo and Herceptin.  Like you, she couldn't imagine putting herself through this. She referred to chemo as injecting pure poison into her body. She is er +/pr -/Her2 positve.

It's now been 16 weeks since her surgery. She had 16 positive nodes. But she has dug her heals in and decided she would do whatever was necessary to live. I'm not saying it was a picnic, because we all know chemo isn't. She has had chemo every two weeks and her last treatment is tomorrow.  Chemo is Wednedays.  Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday are her bad days. No nausea at all thanks to medication. Just very tired, and stomach issues plus one day of depression (Saturdays). By Monday she is ready to kick butt and has 9 great days before her next round of chemo. 

She has not had to miss any chemo treatments even though the treatments are every other week. We credit neulasta (sp??) for that. She's had numerous heart tests and her heart is doing fine. The toe nail issues have only recently started.  She made it through sandal season with perfect toenails. Last week she started having some numbness in her feet. Her attitude is it's temporary and this too will pass.

She truly is the bravest, most positive person I've ever met. She is planning a week's vacation before she starts her radiation, to celebrate the end of her chemo treatments.  She considers this a temporary set back in her life and said by this time next year she will be cancer free, have new breasts, a head full of hair (curly she hopes!), and ready to start living life again.  She is my hero!!

I wish you all the best during this difficult time. Meet with your oncologist and take to heart what he/she recommends.

Ugh. That little invasive component had to go and screw it all up. Bastard! Well, my pathology is nearly identical to yours in the ER/PR/HER 2 stats and grade. If you are even mildly positive, they will recommend Herceptin. I had two tests; first one via FISH was 2.4. 2nd test was equivocal (1.87). I am getting Herceptin for one year. I have experienced no discernible side-effects other than a runny nose. From what I've read, Herceptin is a game-changer and supposedly cuts your risk of recurrence by 50%.



For those that are heavily ER+, Tamoxifen (or AI, if you are post-menopausal) are supposed to be very effective.



I did five months of chemo It's no walk in the park. Some days truly sucked but honestly, it was not that bad. I was never sick due to the anti-nausea meds, and only managed to lose 15 pounds. LOL. Seriously, I worked all the way through. We women are tough. Dr. Susan Love claims that chemo cuts the risk of recurrence by a third.



The good thing is you have lots of treatment options now.

Nothing to add other than - My favorite side effect of treatments is BEING ALIVE!



It was tough, but it was definitely worth it. (been NED since April 2010)

ER+/PR+ bc is normally a very slow growing cancer. Chemo only targets active cells so there's normally no point for ER/PR+ gals to get chemo. BUT, you have Grade 3 which means the cells are chaging quicklly so chemo would be appropriate in your case. I can't recall if you got a mast, but the tests for ITC (Isolated Tumour Cells) is normally done at the time of the mast. That would let you know if there are extra cells floating around. I had some and still didn't get chemo assigned!! My surgeon said to "save the big guns for next time". There is a very good chance of recurrence and I can use the less harsh chemos before I have to load my body with the heavy ones. Also, your doc might prescribe an AI or Tamoxifen which will help your body fight the stray ones. Keep us posted, sweetie!

Lady in gray

Did you have clear nodes and what stage are they now telling you? 6MM is concerning.

You may have a chance to stop it in its tracks now where later, maybe not. Just something to think about. The last thing you want is to have to deal with this again, trust me I learned the hard way.

It sucks no matter what, hugs

TLG...I think it may be the Herceptin which is the real key. You may be able to lobby for a gentler chemo, or possibly stand alone H. You still have a really small tumor size. Keep your head up, there may be some good news for you.

You have a family to think about, not only yourself! Get the facts, get off the computer and do what you need to do to LIVE! I can advise this because I, too, read every single possible SE and was scared to death of chemo; but once I decided it was my best shot to live a long and healthy life, I turned off the the computer and didn't log back in until I was done with treatment. For me, chemo was not fun; but I never missed a day of work (except infusion days) or any of my high school child's events (except chaperoning the post-prom party), or anything else that I needed or wanted to do. I did not need to do herception, but a friend of mine who did took her foreign language students on a 3 week tour of Europe between her last two treatments. Many people get through this without all the horrible SEs you are reading about (naturally it is those who are having problems are the ones talking about it). Just for the record, my herception friend is over 5 years out and I am closing in on it. You can do this, and you can be really, really O.K. in the end.

TLG

Stage one is very treatable. There are milder chemos where you will not loose your hair and such. Look at CMF it used to be the standard before AC and TC came alone. It is much gentler and they give you all kinds of support meds, for anti nausea and such. I never barfed once on it and worked all the way through treatment.

This talk of killing yourself tells me that you are feeling cornered and desperate. You may think you don't want to put your family through it. I guarantee it will make you family closer. It is one of the hidden blessing in this nasty thing called Cancer.I think most women have similar thoughts and it is important to gather a support group of people who love you along with great professionals to guide you through the overwhelming amount of info that you suddenly need to digest and  make decisions about. Get thee to the Doc or therapist who can help you make decisions. Some women opt out of chemo all together with stage one and do fine.

If you want to PM  me go ahead. I have been through chemo twice and I am still standing and making new plans for my future. It sucks and you feel picked on but there is a way out and forward I promise.

Lady Grey, you say that "killing myself is not a more noble death". You've got it wrong sweetie! Killing yourself is the most selfish thing a human can do - not noble at ALL!!! Google those kind of thoughts!!

As for being brave, there's a great saying on these boards that you don't have to be brave, you just  have to show up!!

You may get off without chemo and save it for next time (as my surgeon says)!!!

I do understand what you mean about being 'done'. I am under inestigation for nodes in my neck. I am not even worried because, I too, am done! I have nothing left to fight with either. But if this is a recurrence for me, remember, that you haven't even given your cancer any trouble yet!

TLG - I am disturbed by your recent post.  You are making assumptions that are not borne out by the numbers.  You are an intelligent and intuitive person - please try to absorb what those of us who have already had this experience are trying to tell you.  Stage 1 cancer is not likely to kill you.  Chemotherapy has manageable side effects, you do not need to lose your hair or nails, any nausea can managed, the majority of us are still productive and busy people while receiving chemo.  The vast majority of us receiving Herceptin have no cardiac issues, you will be monitored while receiving it.  Chemo is just a few months - a short time to not feel your best.  I understand your emotional exhaustion - I have suffered losses in the last few years myself and sometimes it is hard to mount a rally to what life hands you, however, nobody kills themselves in a vacuum.  It may permanently solve your temporary problem, but it will permanently affect everyone that loves and cares about you.  I know that you have been blindsided by the changes in your diagnosis, and I know that you are feeling that you are not up to this challenge, but you need to look at what treatment of your very early cancer entails with a rational eye and realize that you can, in fact, deal with this.  Please don't dwell in the short-term aspects of chemo, look forward to the time beyond your treatment and to living and doing well.

I know I (and you) am/are  not unique in asking WHY should I do this.  At age 62 I was dx with 6 cm, IDC, Her + (info at bottom of  this post).   I had travelled to many parts of the world, including India, England, Greece, Mexico.   I had lived a decent number of years.   My only son was getting married 3 weeks later, my DH had died 5 years earlier, I had no significant relationship and had quit working when my DH became ill.    My son could/ would inherit my (small amount) money, I had no outstanding debts, and my overall contribution to the world was nill.     HOWEVER, I chose to undergo dose dense chemo, herceptin for a year and have been NED since.     

Since diagnosis, I have become active in my community, including being elected as an officer of one group.   My first grandchild arrived and I get to play with her almost every week.   I have made friends with some wonderful and interesting people.   Life goes on and there will be bumps and detours along the way.    Is that what "they" call the will to live?    

Best wishes with your decision - and I have to add that suicide is not the answer for me.    

Hey there, Lady! There is nothing warm and fuzzy about being triple positive, but it is what it is and a whole pile of us have done the "full meal deal" and have gone on to live well - side effects be dam#*ed.

No it is not a cake walk, but there are things that can be done to minimize side effects. I was scared stiff that treatment was going to leave me an arthritic, osteopenic, chemo brained cardiac cripple unable to work or control my life, let alone enjoy it. Guess what? Almost three years out and I am going stronger than ever. I did pick and choose options on the treatment menu, exercise and take care of myself - to live the fullest and be "there" for my adult kids.

Yes, your kids are grown, but you are still an integral part of their lives. In a quiet moment last Thanksgiving, one son, 21 and a hulking college fullback took me aside and said " I'm thankful for one thing, that you are still around"  a man of few words, that spoke volumes... If I had not done anything but surgery, I had a pretty much guaranteed  probability of reoccurrence, or worse by now. I wouldn't have seen him graduate, or see his brother go to MIT. I wouldn't have been there to help them move or get them set up.

There is a life after treatment. Yes there are potential side effects that scare the living sh*# out of us, but no one gets them all! Last week, I was in a bit of a panic wondering what Femara would do to me as I need my hands and a brain to work. Guess what? I feel better on this than on Tamoxifen - who'd a thought?

Bottom line, a diagnosis of cancer is a real kick in the pants. Treatment is no joy BUT with it, there is the very real potential for real good quality of life to get out there and enjoy those children and maybe even be around to see grandchildren. You have many options open to you other than a premature exit - everything looks pretty grey there now, but it does get better - ask anyone of the thousands of us that are on this site .....

You are not alone, but you, alone, must decide what you wish for yourself. If you are like the rest of us,our choice was the chance to have a normal and full life outside of treatment for as long as possible. For many of us this is not a pipe dream, but a reality... courage, strength, positive thoughts and cyber hugs.