anyone starting chemo in Nov 2005

Kim, not to worry about the exchange, I'll put a note for you to be one of the last ones to have it sent to-when you check in here, can you let me know if that is ok? Otherwise, I'll send out an email to everyone to just take you off the list. I'll keep you in my prayers for surgery. I'm glad to know that it isn't cancer related.

Mary Lou, I am SOOOOOO sorry about your kitty missing! Oh my gosh, that must be hard. I'd be so bummed out to not have my Rosie Kitty around. I'll say a prayer for you, too. PS-I just love how in love you and your hubby are. Warms my heart every time I read about the things he does for you.
Sending out package tomorrow! Can't wait!
Love and prayers, Debbie

Good news, my kittie is home and safe. I was so happy to see her. Now we have to take a trip to the vet. She is still a baby, but she thinks she wants a boyfriend. LOL

Hope all is well, I will have to go back and read the post later. Just wanted to share the good news this morning.

God does listen to our hearts in so many ways.

He is probably tired of me calling on him all the time. But I lay all my cares upon him, and so far it is working .

Through Christ all things are possible.

Love to you all

Deb I'm looking forward to the exchange. Thank you so much!:)

(((HUGS)))

Mary Lou - It's great to see guys taking their wows seriously. My hubby is a sweetheart too. He has taken good care of our son and me during this time. Since there isn't anyone else who can help, he takes off the first week after treatment and makes sure I have all I need and son does not miss school and completes all his homework. He also goes to school events and soccer games. He is a true blessing.



Debbie, it sounds like your husband is in this category too.



Anyone else out there with a great husband (or significant other) in their life helping them get through these challenging times?

Just let me say yea are bless to have great husband to stand by you.I wish sometimes that my husband would put is arms around me and tell me that he loves me.But i just got to take one day at a time and hope things will get better in my life. Gladys

I am happy to hear you are doing the counseling, Deb. I hope it allows you and your husband to be truthful to each other. I know it is difficult, but it is a good difficult.



My quilt group is having a two-day quilting retreat this weekend and I decided to go but to come home to sleep. It's only 12 miles from my home. I was at the retreat all day yesterday and am now so excited about going back today I couldn't sleep past 4 a.m. One of the members of the group had breast cancer three years ago and went through a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation and has been very available to me throughout this experience. I met a new member yesterday and she had a mastectomy, TRAM, chemo and radiation, also three years ago. What was so wonderful is how they talked about their radiation tatoos, the Decadron high, nose bleeds, all sorts of stuff, but they were goofy about it and we laughed. It was the first time I have laughed about this stuff. They knew exactly what I was talking about, and they were so matter-of-fact about everything. I just loved it. It was the most positive thing! I kind of thought I'd be more aloof about what I am going through, but a lot of the other women wanted to talk about mammogram scares, what chemo is all about, breast cancer, everything. I wore my little fleece cap and showed them my fuzzy head and that was nice too.



I used to be a teacher and absolutely loved my work, but always had a hard time on Sundays because I hated to see the work week looming ahead. Now I dread Sundays because chemo is on Monday. I have been blessed with okay chemo treatments, so why am I being such a wuss? When I say dread, I mean butterflies in the tummy, an overwhelming desire to weep, stuff like that.



You asked about husbands. I met mine eighteen years ago, we have lived together for fourteen years and have been married for five years. I never thought he was a patient man, but he has been surprising me since I was diagnosed last June. He was my nurse after the surgery and has gone to every single doctor's appointment and chemo treatment with me. He has put my needs first every time. I worry about him because he is under a lot of stress due to his work and what is going on in the world (wars, religious strife, prejudice against Muslims, injustice), but also coming from his children (33 and 35), actually one of his children. He has done everything for his children but it is never enough, and his daughter makes him suffer every single day. She is cold, judgemental and focused only on herself. I have had to put her out of my life for the time being, because I decided that being positive was important for me now, and to do that I had to put destructive, negative people aside, at least during this part of my treatment. I hate to see my husband hurt so badly, but I can't do what I used to do, which was to be a bridge between him and his daughter, sort of like a counselor who is always trying to get one side to understand the other, be patient, loving, etc. etc. I can't do that anymore, because during Christmas of 2004, exactly six months before my diagnosis, she created a horrible family rift by lying and manipulating us all. I was still suffering from the situation when I was diagnosed, and have not dealt with it. I have put it on hold.



I also worry because my husband used to be much more physically active. He used to work out and we walked every day. I know he misses our walks, and he says he doesn't have time to go to the gym. I am hoping to start the walking soon, maybe even before I finish chemo? I'd like to get back to the gym myself, and I hope that will give him a push. He has been suffering from back pain and sciatic pain, and I know part of that is stress, but part is the lack of exercise too.



I hope everyone is having a good weekend.



Anna

Good morning ladies - Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your husbands. I thought I bring up the topic because as LizM mentioned we get all the support. I can only imagine how hard it must be for them to sit with us at the treatment center and see so much suffering around them. Then they help us get through all the side effects. God bless them!



BTW – I noticed a lot of us take Decadron after chemo and I am wondering how many days do you all take this drug? Onc just increased it to 5 days hoping it can prevent the pain crisis I usually get.



Deb – Thanks for the words of encouragement. I’m hoping RADS will be much easier to deal with. They told me to only use Aloe on the area. I was surprised to hear they want my blood drawn every week too. I thought they only did that with chemo. Oh well, I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry. Did you have your blood drawn every week too?



Anna – Glad to hear you found a quilting group. How nice to be able to share your BC experiences with ladies who have been down this journey. BTW - I can understand about the stepchildren issues. I have a 15-year-old stepson and there used to be so much conflict with his mom that I’ve chosen to limit my contact with him and things are better now. My husband and son maintain contact and that is what really matters. I know what you mean about dreading the chemo treatments. I used to cry on my way there and sometimes I would get there and could barely make it in through the door without stopping in the ladies room and having a good cry. I felt like a child being dragged into the doctor’s office. Hubby was great he would remind me that it will all be over soon and that this was for my own good, etc., etc… Yesterday was a different scenario. I did not cry instead I almost ran into the treatment room. I could not wait to get it over with!! I feel wonderful to be able to complete a part of this journey that has been such a source of fear and pain! I feel a much stronger woman already full of courage and ready to tackle the next hurdle on this obstacle course.



LizM – Yeah…Congratulations on receiving your last treatment this Monday! I hope your last experience is a less anxious one.



We celebrated the end of Chemo yesterday with a cake and today we’re taking Steven to a birthday party. The celebration continues…I better enjoy it before the Decadron high is over and the pain crisis kicks in. Have a good weekend ladies.



Sending many hugs and love your way.

Deb-I am so glad you and your hubby are doing the counseling thing. I am sure it is tough (my hubby and I went through counseling before I was diagnosed), but I pray that you both work through the troubles you are having.

Anna-I have weeks (I just won't say how many because it constantly changes!) left of chemo, too. Also, I agree with the butterflies in the stomach before chemo. I always have to take ativan before treatment because my blood pressure is so high.

Odalys and Liz-I am really excited for you two, and I look forward to joining you in the "I'm FINISHED WITH CHEMO" club.

I agree with what you all say about husbands not getting enough support. That is why I always encourage husbands to shave their heads when their wives lose their hair. I think it shows the world that they are going through this, too! I know my hubby didn't get nearly the "how are you?" remarks before he shaved his head for me.

I have to tell you all a funny....
we went to the outlet mall again (had to celebrate the off-week of chemo). Well, on the way home Daniel was starting to fuss and he started to yell. Suddenly my hubby started to crack up. I looked at him like he was nuts and he said, "When Daniel started yelling, I hit the volume button on the radio to turn him down!" I think that is a great example of how hubbies get chemo brain!

One other thing, I STILL ACHE!!!!!!!!!!! Make it go away! My chemo nurse said that when a person is so sensitive that means that the shot is working. Let's hope so...

Love and prayers! Hope you are all doing great!
Debbie

Kim- GREAT to hear that the surgery went well!! Glad to hear that you have such wonderful support. It really does make a huge difference! My prayers are with you & your family.
LAT56

Wow the board has been busy! I have been away this week end. We went for a 2 hour trip into NC. Had a chance to stop in Mt Airy . We went to a place called Mayberry NC.



It was set up like the Andy Griffith show. Complete with court house and jail . Also had the station where Guber worked on the cars. We took pictures of us pretending to be Andy and Barney.



Was the most normal thing I have done in awhile. Good to get away and have fun.



We also got together with Michael's family. We all stayed over night at his brother and sister in laws. There was 12 of us in all.



We played games, rode the 4 wheeler , played with the horses , and of course ate! Along with a few wine coolers and beer. It was just wonderful . His brother lives in a log home on about 25 acres of land. It was So peaceful. I love to swing on the front porch , but this time it was just a little to cool.



We did enjoy seeing the deer. I'm a country girl , so it was nice to be able to just relax and enjoy what Gods country is really all about.



I really needed a break from the same thing, day in and day out. And I must say , I forgot about the cancer , except for the wig, which I soon discarded.



The itch was driving me crazy and I felt like I was wearing straw on my head. I don't really care if anyone sees me bald, so it didn't matter.



Good to see so many on the boards, and it seems like we are all moving forward for the most part.



Anna, I to know what it is like dealing with the GROWN children. I have to deal with that too..... I just say , I'm married to Michael, and that is all that matters. My boys do right by him, and they get along. The girls on the other hand are spoiled. It is really time for them to grow up and get a life.



I don't have the time or energy to deal with a bunch of nonsense. And I won't. This is going to be my life and I'm going to live it as stress free as I can.



Even if it means someone else is not to happy about it. Tough luck. I have always done what makes the others happy. And a lot of times at the expense of making myself miserable.



I said no more! I have been given a chance to live, and by golly , I'm going to do just that. It is time to see what I want to see, and do what I want to do. For me!



I'm 50 years old, it is my time and I'm going to take it. Michael and I have made plans to take mini vacations . There is enough to see in Virginia , to keep us busy for a year.



Things of interest right under our nose that we keep saying lets do that someday. Well someday is here! I feel like a race horse coming out of the gate. ..... Running , not walking.... into life!



I know I appreciate my life more after BC, than I ever did before.



Blessings to you all , prayers are with those that have treatment this week. I'm stressing already about Thursday.



Google Mayberry NC , and you can see where I went. They have a town event in September, I'm going to put that on my list of things to do!



Take care

ML

Now that it is Monday , I'm feeling excited about Thursday. I really wish it was here already. Never thought I would ever want treatment to get here.

Seems like I have lost a lot of time these last few months. What a wonderful time to be finished with treatments. Spring is one of my favorite times of year.

This year will truly be all new for me. And I will live each moment with new awareness.

Blessings to all my sisters this week. I wish we would hear from special Kaye. I hope she is ding well.

Have a good week.....

Love ML

Hello ladies. Kim, what a mixed bag of news, but I am so glad it is not related to cancer and that it can be treated. Keep us posted.

Odalys, you will lead the way for those of us who have more chemo before radiation. By the time we get there, we'll know all the terms, effects, and tips for the next segment of the journey, thanks to you.

Debbie and Margerie, I am with you--Neuprogen is no fun at all (although easier for me than the Neulasta). I get mine on Monday each week and by night, I am feeling very achey and that continues through Wednesday, then chemo on Thursdays. Only 7 more T/H, so we are on the same cycle, Margerie. Wound up in E/R on Friday with 102.6. Have no idea what caused it so suddenly, but they put me on broad spectrum antibiotics. Scariest part was doing cultures of blood from my port to see if it was contaminated. I would hate to have it removed at this stage. I love not having any nasea, but I hate the non-stop diarrhea. Imodium is my best friend, but between the Taxol, Herceptin and antibiotics, it is a "bummer". Hands are OK, but feet are sore. Oh well, have business travel tomorrow and Wednesday and the distraction will do me good. HOpe you all have a great week and if not, make the best of what you can.
Nancy

Anna I feel for you. I was also in the gray area for rads with one pos node and my tumor being 2mm from chest wall but after consulting with my radiation oncologist decided to go ahead with rads even though I may mess up my implant. Anyway, I finished my last chemo yesterday (woohoo) and will probably be starting rads beginning of April. Unless I convince my medical oncologist to go along with getting my ovaries removed in between. I really thought that chemo would throw me into menopause but I am still spotting and have been since mid-December. I made an appointment with a gynecology oncologist for next Monday after my appointment with my medical oncologist so we will see if they are on board. Although my medical team is top notch at Hopkins, they like to follow their protocol and I am finding that when I want to change things up a bit they are uncomfortable. For example, yesterday after my treatment I was given a prescription for Tomoxifen to take right away if I didn't have rads otherwise after rads. I have read some studies that say it is OK to take Tomoxifen at the same time as radiation but when I asked my oncologist about it a couple of weeks ago he said to wait until after radiation because they are not sure if it interferes with radiation. For some reason I am just uncomfortable with finishing chemo and then waiting for 2-3 months before I start hormonal therapy. I would feel so much better if I could just continue the hormonal therapy right after chemo to keep those little bugger cells at bay. Anyway, I am happy to be done with chemo and moving on to the next step. I just don't know exactly what the next step is going to be yet. I wish all you wonderful ladies the best and want to thank you for providing me support during my chemo treatment. Although I am moving on to my next phase of treatment I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers and will check in from time to time.

Big ((((Hugs Anna,)))) You are in my prayers. Liz, congrats on your graduation of chemo. We have a bell to ring at the cancer center, I'm going to ring it loud and clear on Thursday. Whoo!!!!! Hoo!!!!! And I will be taking pictures of the staff and my Onc.

I am making a scrapbook of this whole journey. Next is rads in a few weeks. I don't feel as well as I would like to , even this long after my last treatment. My fingers and feet just feel awful. And I seem so tired.

Not sure if it was the long ride over the week end and not enough rest, or just the build up of chemo.

Wonder how long after chemo that everything feels normal. The bottom of my feet feel like I have been walking on hot sand.

Also, when does the port-a-cath come out? I don't know if they will leave it in for my reconstruction, or take it out. Guess that is on my list of questions for this week.

I do have a lot of WHITE fuzz now. I feel like a peach. I have seen threads that say it falls out about a month after my last treatment. I was kinda liking it. It looks like it is bone straight, and all white. So I was happy about that. The color will be even that way. And the color will be out of a box as soon as I have enough to color. LOL

All have a good week (((Hugs)))

ML