Getting test results tomorrow (Friday) and NERVOUS
After my first lumpectomy, I thought I was home free, then at my follow up with the BS, I was told that my cancer was invasive and that I would need more surgery (re-excision and SNB).
Tomorrow (Friday) I have an appointment with my MO to get results from my Oncotype DX (and disucss further treatment) and as it gets closer I get more and more nervous. It seems like most of my appointments lately have been bad news(at least partially), another excision, invasive cancer found, etc... and I'm finding it more and more difficult to be positive.
I'm not looking for any specific advice here, just putting down some feelings and hoping for some support from this wonderful community. Thanks for reading.
Comments
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Hi Cookie
Sorry for your DX. So far you,ve come a fair way since your original DX. That sometimes changes especially after lumpectomy. Hopefully for you your Oncotype DX will be a low score so that your treatment will be an easier one. Fingers crossed! Lets hope for good news this time!
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Cookie, I had to have a re-excision also. I had a low Oncotype score so I dodged chemo. I so feel you anxiety. Sending you gentle hugs and prayers for your low score!!
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I'm feeling your anxiety with you too. Big hugs to you. Please keep us posted on your appt today.
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Thanks for the well wishes so far. My appt. is at 10:40 am, PST, I'll try to update when I can. I'm hoping for a low score, and if not that a high one. I really don't want to be in the middle where I have to make a big decision. Ugh, at this point I just want to know! I have to teach two classes this morning before I go to the appt. too, at least that will give me something else to focus on, I suppose.
Time to pry DS out of bed and get ready to go to work.
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Good luck today--
as someone who fell in the "gray area" I want you to know that in the end, it was not so horrible--- and now, almost 3 years out, I feel great and life has resumed at its crazy pace. Remember also, you don't have to make the decision immediately--- you can think about it. I took a digital voice recorder to this meeting--make sure you get a copy of the entire oncotype report-- I think it is 4 pages.... so you can review it on your own as well.....
take deep breaths.. all will be well.
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Good luck! I am waiting for my results too which I will get on Monday. I just want to get it over with, whatever it says! Hope you get a really low number but if you don't it will be ok!!
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Hang in there. I will be thinking about you today. Please update us...Hugs!
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momand2: Thanks! We've recorded just about every doctor visit I've had since diagnosis (except for the unexpected ones when I had an allergic reaction to a medication). I have actually gone back and looked for info a couple of times. I definitely will get a copy of the full test results too, I've done that with all of the pathology too. I trust my MO's opinion too, but will definitely think about what to do if it comes to that. I have another excision next week, hopefully my last, so I certainly don't need to decide immediately.
Everyone else, thanks again. I'll update when I can later today.
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I have had setbacks too and I totally understand your fear. Other people who have not gone through this don't understand th roller coaster of emotions you go through - you TRY to remain positive but it is a struggle to REALLY do so. I appreciate all the loving & caring words of encouragement I have received from loved ones, but at times it is almost like my raw feelings aren't validated. When someone tells you to only be positive, its is meant to raise you up but at times you just want someone to realize you are scared, you are angry, you are hopeful, you are wishing for the best but preparing for the worst....you are all of those things and it is like a roller coaster of emotions. Best of luck to you and do your best to keep your chin up but realize there will be times you fail at doing so.And thats ok...
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OK, I'm back from the doctor visit and lunch with DH.
Oncotype test score was 14!!! Sooo relieved. Must go change diagnosis because ER came back +, but only mildly so, still Tamox is in my future.
First, 3rd excision on Thursday next week, then heal up, hopefully it's clear and I can move on to rads for 7 weeks starting in mid-late November, then start tamox in the new year.
Since diagnosis, today was my first completely good news appointment. I joked ot the MO that I was just going to stop visiting the surgeon because she kept delivering bad news.
Thanks for all the virtual hugs and good wishes. Onward I go. Best wishes to all of you out there dealing with BC in whatever form it takes.
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