June 2011 A/C & T Groupies Unite!

Tldrose {{{hugs}}}  Hang in there, it will get better!

I am having my PET/CT scan tomorrow.  Really want to hear the words "no evidence of disease" but I am worried that my tumor marker test went up 10 points after chemo.   And I see the RO on Friday.  And then, one week in Florida where there will be NO breast cancer discussion!!!  Just beach, sun (hopefully), reading, an umbrella drink or two, spending time with some friends and enjoying every single minute.  It's been 16 months so far and I am tired!

Aww Tldrose, you may absolutely get this kind of stuff out in the open here.  Big hugs to you!

Until I was diagnosed, I was blissfully unaware of what a difficult road this kind of thing is. At age 32, I didn't even have any close friends who had been through anything like cancer before.It's really hard to "get it" unless you've kind of had to face it before.  That said.. you deserve to feel supported... even if people can't entirely relate.  I hope you find that the support is really there for you, even if people are sometimes kind of awkward in how they show it (or don't).  Hope that makes sense and even if it doesn't, please know I'm sending my best to you and wishing for better days ahead.

Michelle, can I just say your summary for the October for Tappy was awesome?!

Tldrose..Right On!!!

I have felt this way most of the time and it is frustrating at best. Its made me down right sad from my extended family. But towards the end of my chemo last week I realized  they can't cope with anything but the milestones that we want to celebrate (i.e.last day of chemo) even though I mentioned to them as many times that I still have radiation.

We go on and carve out our own secure hand dug bunker - make your very own sanctuary. I am stage 2b but have seen that go both ways in the blink of an eye - I have peace both with my fight that so far includes losing my breasts chemo, reconstruction, the soon to be rads to the thought of mets.. I work on peace daily because that is the most useful tool I will need in my journey. 

keep coming here- the only place I have never felt alone 

Thanks to kks_rd, beaglesirl and pebee...I appreciate the encouragement! I know the journey we are all on is tough and thankfully we have each other to lean on with this forum. I agree with beaglesgirl, that this place is the only one where I don't feel alone. It helps so much to vent and share what we are going through! Hugs to all!

I'm telling you, I got more compliments from that cheap costume wig than any of my so-called "real" wigs!  I might just have to wear it a few more times, and not as just a costume!

My scan was uneventful, should have the results tomorrow.  DH and I sat outside, I had fried clams and ice cream...the weather has been so nice!

Tldrose - I really hope you know that this is a safe place to "let it all out." When I first came to BCO, I thought it strange that there were discussion threads like Chemo October 2009...why would they still be talking about chemo?   Well, I totally get it.  We are a group of women who share a bond that will remain for years!  We have done, or are still doing, one of the hardest things in our entire lives.  And we will always want to know how each is doing...next year, five years from now, ten years from now. 

Michelle

Oh Michelle - that is such good news - I am doing the happy dance for you...!

Michelle, that is absolutely wonderful. The result you've battled so long and hard for! Congratulations and enjoy!



TS

TWISTEDSTEEL~ so you just finished 12 wks of Taxol? i am on my 5th and so far so good. how did you do? what kind of side effects did you get? did you lose your nails? so you're going to get one boob removed next month? i already had that done, first thing before chemo. it wasn't that bad at all, drain tubes are fun. NOT!!! my whole family helped drain them, even my wussy husband. LOL but get yourself one of those bras that have the holders you can velcro to it, works great. have a great day!!!

Oh my goodness Michelle, awesome news!!!

It's nothing byy comparison, but I am pleased as hell to her back on my post-chemo MRI.  I saw over a 50% reduction in the size of the tumor, and the node involvement is quite minimal now.  It also said there was pronounced reduction in "kinetic enhancement."  Does anyone know what that means?

In any case, the chemo did its job for me too.  Kinda makes going through the SEs feel more worthwhile.

Okay - a question....

the week before I started Taxol, my liver enzemes were fine - or at least chemo fine.

Then, I get my first taxol - liver enzemes are still fine.

One week after first taxol, some liver enzemes are elevated, as in four times the normal rate.  Definately out of chemo levels.

Then this week (Taxol round 2), the liver enzemes were down, some significantly, but still out of bounds and not chemo levels.

So, the onc wants a chest cat scan - a chest one because the company that I work for is changing insurance comanies, so he wants the whole chest just to save time and hassle factors.

The Onc opinion is that after 9 rounds of chemo (4 TC pre surgery, 4 AC after surgery, and one T at that test), my liver is just not having a good time.  He went through all of my meds and none of them were an issue.  The rest of my bloodwork is perfect - so perfect that it looks like a non-chemo person.  The other liver blood results were within range.

Question - should I be worried?  Michelle - what are the tumor markers that you mentioned earlier - can you post them here?  Thank you everyone..... as you can imagine, I am going to be a bit concerned until I get the cat scan done and then the results.

Beth

Thank you Michelle - I am looking at one page (missing the first page - I can get it tommorrow) of the blood work.  I do not see the tests that you mentioned, so I will see if they are on the first page and see what the results are.

I am glad that someone else had this side effect, while it sucks, it makes me feel better that it may be just another bump on the  road.   

Congrats Michelle!!! Have a blast in Florida! Wish I were going with you!

I had to stop chemo a week ago. I had so much swelling in my hands and when it went down, I had no feeling in my fingers. Last Friday was my last one. Today I had DD Herceptin. I haven't had heartburn in a while, and boy I have it tonight. Hoping for no more SE. I'm beat. MO wanted my surgery moved up, so it will be on 11/7. My WBCs are still tanking, so not sure what's going on there.

Beth, Thinking about you and hoping your chest ct is okay.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Michelle, From everything I've read, and from what the DIEP surgeon from HUP said, it's best to get the TEs out. You'll get the best results without harm to other organs. It sucks that you'll have another procedure. My SO is compassionate and I love her, but I think she feels that all woman want to wake up with boobs, so she keeps asking me about having TEs placed. I hate that I am going to be mutilated, but if it means that the affected skin will be gone, and the radiologist can do his job, than I can worry about whether or not I will have reconstruction later.

All things considered, now that I've been feeling better, I am really struggling, emotionally. I feel like I'm closet-crying constantly, and can nolonger talk to anyone about it. I'm a broken record. I'm full of complaints. I'm scared. I keep evaluating the stress I've had in my life, raising my husband's kids, and how they treated me along with his ex-wife, and I have come to the conclusion that my husband, who I love, is responsible for all the stress, and I want y husband, but I nolonger want the stress in my life. My younger step-daughter, who I love as well, gave her screw-up mother (who left them and moved to Florida when they were little), my Caringbridge account. I feel violated and hurt. I feel like all these years, my husband tried to keep the peace, and in turn, permanently hurt me and when it comes to his daughter, he continues to do so. My older step-daughter sent out her wedding list. My family has been pivital in helping us raise her, by including them as part of our family, showering them with gifts and college money and love, did not invite my family to the wedding. She's had no consideration for what I'm going through, and I don't know when the wedding is, but I have a feeling I will still be going through this hell. She made her half-sister from her mother's side a maid of honor, but my children are not. My kids think of her as a celebrity because she is hardly in their lives and when she is, they are all over her.She will NEVER admit it, but she hates my children because they are mine, and she was manipulated by her mother, and my husband let it happen because he wanted to be their friend rather than their father. My one sister has wittnessed almost all of the abuse, and she wants me to not let it bother me. Really? How?

Just a quick note to share that I had a lumpectomy and SNB today.  It went as well as it could have gone, I felt like I was in good hands from start to finish and I didn't have to stay the night, yippee!

But the best news of the day is........ all nodes were clear!!  Not sure if this is due to the neoadjuvant chemo or not, but I'll take it either way.   Will get final path at my follow-up appointment in 7-10 days.

The tech who helped perform the wire localization was a fellow survivor - 4 years NED - who had the same MO and SO I have.  Talking with her about our experiences really helped.  We had quite a few laughs about the wacky things chemo does to our poor bodies.  Happy to say she looks great.  That'll be us soon, girls!  (((Hugs)))

Rose, you're early in November right?  I can relate to the nesting feeling... I made preparations weeks ahead of time.  Like with so many things BC-wise, I think the waiting is the hardest part.

Much love to all!