Help wanted: UMX without reconstruction

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited October 2011

    Thanks, gkodad.  I will try to remember that other people are rarely going to notice anything... 

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  • snorfia
    snorfia Member Posts: 47
    edited October 2011

    I met one acquaintance about a month after surgery, when I was totally flat on one side. We had a great conversation.  Two months later she saw me wearing a compression sleeve and gauntlet and asked why.  She was floored when I told her about breast cancer, but I really thought she knew!  I told her it just proved that she didn't go around staring at people's chests.

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited October 2011

    snorfia...that is a wonderful story...thanks for sharing:)

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  • sott
    sott Member Posts: 16
    edited October 2011

    CLC, I have been greatly comforted by your (and other's) comments on this subject.  I see that your surgery was yesterday and I hope that you are comfortable and recuperating well.

     I received my diagnosis yesterday by phone (my bs was on the way to the airport and Vietnam) so I do not have details yet but know that she has recommended a simple ltmx with no chemo but "only a pill."  So I have been researching recon vs foob (which I assume is short for false boob).  I am size DD so the suggestion made by Granuaile  for breast reduction in the rt is very appealing and I intend to explore this option as well as the foob.  Given my extremely heavy breasts I don't see how I could be comfortable going uniboob.  What started out as a comparison between recon and foob has quickly become resolved.  No recon and extra surgeries for me!  Only 10 minutes on this site and I already feel so much better.  Thanks!

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited October 2011

    Hi, Susan.  My surgery yesterday went better than I could have ever imagined.  I am recuperating well, but in some pain.  I am home and that is a good thing...:)  Thank you for your well wishes.  I am very glad that I stuck with my gut feelings.  I explored and researched all choices, at the urging of bc survivors I know, but, in the end, I knew my heart on the matter.

    I am really glad that anything I might have said was helpful.  This is such a difficult process, and it is so meaningful when something useful comes of it.  I know that I have found great reassurance from the many women that have shared their experiences and feelings.

    I wish you all the luck and strength in the world...

    Claire

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  • Erica3681
    Erica3681 Member Posts: 1,916
    edited October 2011

    CLC,

    Great to hear from you so soon after surgery! Glad you're doing well and feeling good about your decision. Hopefully, the pain will subside quickly and that you'll soon be back doing everything you did before.

    Barbara

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited October 2011

    Barbara...  Thank you for your well wishes.  Thank you for your web site.  Thank you for your knowledgeable insights...  You have helped me immensely.  Claire

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited October 2011

    Hello, all. I just wanted to give you all a quick update.  I am so grateful for everyone's input and feedback on this thread, that I just wanted to let you know how it is turning out.

    I am so pleased to say that just a little bit of camouflage really is amazing.  It is true that people just don't notice, even though my remaining breast is a D.  A pocket and a little loose clothing and it just doesn't get noticed, unless someone is looking for the difference.  And that is without the little puffy form.  I am completely confident now that I will have no issues with dressing and appearance.  I am so thankful to all of you for putting my mind at ease before the surgery.  Now, after surgery, I really can appreciate exactly what you were all saying.

    I do think I already notice a slight back and shoulder issue with the weight imbalance, so I will definitely get the prosthetics as soon as I am allowed.  I don't think it will be a major issue though.

    While I was sure I did not want recon, I was so unsure about what the ramifications of that would really be.  All of you wonderful women on this thread made that whole isse soooooo much easier for me.  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU...:)

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  • sott
    sott Member Posts: 16
    edited October 2011

    CLC- so 2 weeks after surgery you're starting to feel some back and shoulder issues?  Sorry to hear that since I will be following in your footsteps.  One of the things that concerns me is how heavy the prosthesis would be if they tried to balance me (DD).  I can't believe that even in recon they could put that much weight back in.  Do you have any thoughts on this?

    Oh, when you mention a pocket is that the pocket on your shirt or something else?

    I'm a little concerned about the issues the BS brought up about the reduction since that was the "silver lining" I was looking forward to.  Oh well, one day at a time....

    So glad that your issues with your daughter have been resolved.  It seems like most on this list are young and with families.  I realize how simple I have it with only a DH to deal with.  I admire you all!

    Susan

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited October 2011

    sott...I am not feeling much in the way of shoulder and back issues, but I can tell that it will bother me when I am up on my feet all day long.  Just a sense of how it feels, more than any specific thing.

    I meant a pocket on the shirt that just camouflages the missing breast.  Quite amazing what a couple of well chosen items can do for making everything so unnoticeable!

    I'm sorry about the reduction concerns...but, like you said, one day at a time...  That's a really important part of all of this, I think.

    Nothing is simple when it comes to bc.  For any of us.  We all have our issues to face and there is no comparing.  BC (and other times of adversity) have taught me I am grateful that I am living my life.  Even when my life isn't easy. 

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  • Erica3681
    Erica3681 Member Posts: 1,916
    edited October 2011

    sott,

    I had a BMX, so don't have direct experience with balancing the weight of a natural breast with a breast form, but from what I've read and heard from other women, while you do need some weight on the MX side for balance, you likely wouldn't need as much. I hope that's true for you! 

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  • sott
    sott Member Posts: 16
    edited October 2011

    That's good to hear.  I'll keep my fingers crossed.  Thanks.

     Susan

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited October 2011

    I wanted to add here, since it relates to the original question I had, that I have been facing issues with bras.  I am unable to wear bras 2.5 weeks post-op for more than a short time.  I have been trying to find a solution for when I go back to work and need a bra.  I have bought the Genie bra-two sizes too large...and it is great.  I am able to wear it for extended periods of time with very little soreness (though having the lightweight form in is a little tender for me...so I will have to reduce its size a bit so there is less pressure).  It gives me adequate support for my remaining breast.  I thought I would add this bit of advice for those with the same questions as me...:)

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  • sgreenarch
    sgreenarch Member Posts: 528
    edited October 2011

    Hi. Just thought id chime in as one who has been assymetrical for a bit more than a year. I am happy to report no back or balance issues. I bought a good prosthesis (amoena, google it) about a month out with a few bras. Different colors and styles. Bought one for swimming too and Lands End sells great mastectomy bathing suits. Also bought quite a few cotton cheap sports bras and i put fiberfill in the little sack that comes with the prostheses for when i exercise or am too hot. Main downer of this whole thing is that its hard to go around braless if youve had a Umx. I bought some huge baggy things to wear at home but dont go out like that. Overall really fine. No one can tell and no one really stares at boobs anyway on a 50 year old...!

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  • gkodad
    gkodad Member Posts: 188
    edited October 2011

    I'm three months out and still dealing with a few healing issues, so I'm not really ready for the prosthesis.  But my light foob works great.  I have noticed a little back and shoulder pain on the umx side if I spend long hours at the computer, or walk for an extended period carrying my purse.  Of course, my purse is the size of a suitcase, so maybe I should consider something smaller :-D. 

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  • mamabee
    mamabee Member Posts: 546
    edited April 2012

    This thread has been so helpful as I'm trying to decide whether to get a TE during my upcoming UMX. I'm leaning toward not wanting reconstruction right now for many of the same reasons already mentioned. Also, my cancer has some skin involvement which presents some challenges for my surgery, requires substantial rads and increases my chance of recurrence. But when I tell my doctors I'm considering no reconstruction, they look at me like I'm crazy, tell me I'm "so young" (47 and not feeling so young anymore) and that they're not only trying to cure the cancer but also make sure I can have "a good life" - as if I couldn't do that with only one breast. The way I see it, if I hate having to deal with the foob, etc., I can always opt for reconstruction down the road.

    What hesitancy I do have about not reconstructing mostly revolves around the logistics of a prosthesis. My remaining breast is a B cup so I don't think I could get away in public with not wearing one. I like to swim and play tennis - will I still be comfortable doing these with a foob? Will my wardrobe be more limited - ie: can you still wear more form-fitting t-shrts? clothes that require a strapless bra? Any other downsides you can share? And CLC, I'm wondering if you've had any of those "balance" issues you were concerned about? 

      

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  • Erica3681
    Erica3681 Member Posts: 1,916
    edited April 2012

    Hi mamabee,

    One of my missions is to convince doctors not to assume women can't feel "whole" or happy without breasts (I try to accomplish that in part through BreastFree.org, my non-profit website). I didn't want reconstruction and have never regretted not having it. I don't feel any less whole and happy without breasts. I was older than you at the time of my bilateral mastectomy (57), but when I read your post I immediately thought of caaclark (Carol), who was 40 years old at the time of her unilateral mastectomy (like you, she's a B cup in her remaining breast). She recently posted the following on another thread:

    I decided against recon for several reasons-(I had a single mast): 

    1. I am physically active and was worried how recon would alter that-I would have had the lat. dorci but then that would have sacrificed muscle in a good part of my body. I would have also had to put an implant on the good side.

    2. I have lots of allergies to antibiotics (almost all families of them). How sad would it be for me to have survived stage III breast cancer and end up dying from an infection.

    3. Don't get me wrong-I liked my breasts-they were pretty nice-but after all the treatment they didn't matter that much to me anymore.

    4. I look completely fine in clothes and bathing suits without recon. I do wear a prosthetic but there is not one person who would know unless I tell them.

    5. Not that I would EVER base my decision on another person but my husband really could not care one way or the other. He actually felt strongly that I skip recon.

    6. I know most people think that younger women reconstruct but I had absolutely no need to go through more surgery and procedures after chemo, radiation, hysterectomy, etc.

    7. I did not want to deal with more recovery time and time away from my young children. Just not worth it.

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited April 2012

    mamabee...  I am very happy with my decision and that I stuck with my gut on this. 

    I am a size D on the right, so the difference is very stark for me...  Even still, I would do it the same now.  I will say, however, I have had some issues.  First, I have had some issues with running that I think are probably related to the imbalance.  This only becomes a problem if I run for an hour or so.  Then, I have issues with a muscle in my leg that is mainly responsible for balance.  (the muscle tires and is sore).

    As to appearance, I have been stunned at how little anyone notices.  I have never bothered about my appearance, so I knew that I would go flat in public.  The only time I bother with prosthetic is at work, as I work with teenagers.  I did not want to put anyone in an uncomfortable position there.  Also, when I bring my kids to dance, I wear a prosthetic because I don't want to make the other moms feel they must discuss bc with their children.  I don't want to take that role.

    Other than those two circumstances, I go flat on the one side.  No one seems to notice.  I go flat at the gym.  I go flat to the grocery store, the mall, the movies, out to dinner.  I even went flat swimming at a hotel and will go flat at Cape Cod at the beach this summer.  Very very few people seem to notice.  Those that do, glance and then glance away.  All done.  No issues.

    With the prosthetic, I can wear a skin tight shirt, no one notices.  (Except for if my nipple is erect...then I am self conscious about it...I don't know if anyone has noticed it).  I don't know about strapless, as I have never worn strapless anything...but I do know that they make adhesive prosthetics that might work.  I am a little different above where my breast used to be...like there is fat missing and that area would probably be seen in a strapless dress...but, again, I probably would be the only one to be aware of it.

    As to wearing a foob while being active, I cannot give feedback.  I wouldn't want to. 

    I can say that the prosthetic that I wear is comparable to a size D...it is heavy (though I got the light version).  After a long day of work, I want to get it off.  The area of the scar becomes fatigued from the pressure.  I don't know that I would be comfortable running with a prosthetic.  However, I am a D, not a B.  Hopefully, there are others that can speak to that for you.

    I hope that you find the right path for you and that your surgery and any treatments you have go as well as can be expected.

    Best wishes,

    Claire

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  • krcll
    krcll Member Posts: 343
    edited April 2012

    Claire-I use this silicone nipple cover: http://www.solutions.com/jump.jsp?itemType=PRODUCT&itemID=16997 It really does the job and you avoid the "one headlight" look.

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  • mamabee
    mamabee Member Posts: 546
    edited April 2012

    Thank you so much for your responses! I met with my surgeon today and my tumor has shrunk so much from chemo that he actually thinks that I may be able to have a lumpectomy instead of a MX. I'll have an MRI and then we'll see...

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited April 2012

    krcll...but then, when my nipple isn't erect, won't I still have the one headlight look, in reverse?

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  • CLC
    CLC Member Posts: 1,531
    edited April 2012

    mambee...that is fabulous news! Hoping for the best for you!  Claire

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