Please help me talk with my mother

I agree with the others that the Er+ is less aggressive and easier to treat. It is also good that she is post menopausal. Sounds like a good prognosis.

It seems the horror stories you talked about earlier is a major concern for her and I don't blame her. Side effects are so much more treatable then just a few years ago. Lets work on making sure she knows that to encourage her to comply with it and be not so scared. My mother was bed ridden during chemo because of a lack of treatment for side effects. It is likely that your mother may know someone that had the same experience.If your mother does the net this is a good site; http://www.caring4cancer.com/

I still like the care package idea with the keepsake for encouragement. I also think that would help her open up to you to tell you any side effects or other things that could be bothering her. Then you can come here and we can help.

Good luck with mom, you are a good son and she is lucky to have you.

Hi Rob,

I am a nurse and was treated 2 1/2 years ago for breast cancer - actually, Amy who wrote earlier, and I are in the April 2009 chemo group together.  I had years of experience as a hospice nurse, and that was both positive and negative as I prepared myself for treatment.  I also was my mothers caretaker 33 years ago when she had metastatic breast cancer, and saw the worst of the side effects before she passed away.  With all that being said, I am the same age as your mother and have a daughter who will be walking in the Strides Against Breast Cancer event with me tomorrow (our third walk) and she has raised thousands of dollars as a team leader for the walks - that was her way of handling the diagnosis.  As for me, I was ER+, PR+ and Her2 +, and had the "big guns" treatment (AC + T and then 1 year of Herceptin, and am now on year two of five with Arimidex).  I was one of the few who couldn't be treated with a lumpectomy because of the location of the tumor, so I had a mastectomy, and a year later, I electively had a mastectomy on the other side.  The story of my tumor discovery is long, but suffice to say, that I could never have relied on current diagnostic tests to monitor the non-cancerous breast, so off it came to give me more peace of mind.

 I had a mediport put in, and never regretted it - Adriamycin is a vessicant, and we knew my treatments, because of the need for Herceptin weekly for a year after the 6 months of other chemo (which your mother will not need - Her2-,).  With my background and medical knowledge - not always a good thing - I was terrified of chemo side effects.  As many have said, it is so individualized, that I would not dare to predict how someone else would respond, but I can tell you, and your mother, that I did much better than I could have hoped for and what side effects I did experience, were quickly and effectively handled by my oncologist.  I believe that having an oncologist that your mother feels comfortable with, can freely ask questions of, and has the right approach to be a partner with her in her treatment plan, is a key to how we handle chemo.  I stayed with my oncologist, although I did not feel he was the "right fit" for me, because I was in the middle of treatment when I realized it.  I did not want to start with someone new at that time, but as soon as I finished the aggressive chemo, and was going for 3 month follow-ups, I changed to another onc who I just love.  She will be my lifeline for years to come, and I wanted to have that relationship with her that I could ask, tell her anything - so your mom may want to "interview" more than one onc.  We tend to be so shell shocked by the news, that we don't think about how important that working relationship is, especially if your mom has the natural approach as well.  As others have said, and with first hand knowledge, I know they mean it, as do I, if I can help in any way, please PM me.  Your mom will get through this, and she is so lucky to have caring, supportive children beside her!

Rob, regarding the scans and recommendation for an x-ray followup.  It's almost impossible to know what they're thinking.  My initial guess is maybe suspiscion for something as simple as arthritis or some other non-bc related condition.  The CatScan and BoneScan are far more sophisticated than a basic x-ray, so it seems odd that they would revert to an x-ray following a scan.  I think the best thing to do is to suggest she pick up the phone (or do it yourself, if you're authorized to get her info) and ask why the comment was made and if she's being referred for an x-ray.  Otherwise, you both will continue to worry about something that may not be all that worrisome.    Deanna

Often, if a bone scan shows uptake of an unknown orgin, a plain film x-ray is used to rule out any lesions or bone trauma. I had both a bone scan and a cat scan. The cat scan showed nothing but the bone scan showed very slight uptake at my L-5. I had an x-ray to rule out any obvious metastatic lesions. The x-ray showed a degenerative change and bulging disc. I had a follow up mri that confirmed the bulging disc. No metastic cancer. Don't worry- it is very normal to have follow up x-rays.

Hi Rob,

I am another who got the call to have an x-ray after a bone scan and CT.  Showed uptake in C-5, C-6 area and I had myself convinced it was mets to the cervical spine  Turned out it was DJD, which is so common in your mother and my age group. Hopefully this is one of those false alarms that many of us have lived through, but that doesn't reduce the anxiety by much.

 Geri

If the breast MRI was just of the breast, they have you lay on your stomach and the breast goes in the holes in the table, so behind the breast bone is not on the image.

The ct should have been able to say weather or not it was nodal involvement. Behind the breast bone would not have been from the surgeries as they do not go there for breast surgery. I hope the pet/ct comes back good and sorry they are doing one.