Calling all ladies in their 20's

SKD - You were given the okay after 1 year? That's awesome. How did that turn out for you? Did you get your baby (or maybe pregnant with one)? I hope so. I keep hearing some doctors okay after 2 years, but this is the first time I heard 1 year. Do you know what your estrogen status was? Mine was 10% estrogen positive, so not extremely high, which makes me think I can maybe get away with taking a break from Tamoxifen to have a baby. At this point, waiting a year would be a dream for me....5 years feels like a sentence!

does anyone else on here just have absolutely zero sex drive???

ugh i hate cancer and all the crap it brings.. llike anti estrogens

i could go a month without it and not miss it..

i hate it

Kristien - I get one period approx every 3 - 4 months on tamoxifen, and its ridiculously light, all over in around a day!!  One great side effect of tamoxifen!

Best of luck in finishing chemo, I never did neulasta but tried to swim regularly throughout chemo, even when I was neutropenic, I think it kept me sane & in good shape.

hdangelbaby - yeah, I hear ya on the low sex drive.... One not so great side effect of tamoxifen!!

My mammogram & ultrasound reports were normal, apart from scar tissue!! Yepiee!  

Kristien - I havnt had any hot flashes since going on tamoxifen.  I was getting dreadful hot flashes during the last 2 months of chemo, it was awful - probably the worst thing about chemo - but since my period returned 3 months after finishing chemo & going on tamoxifen, they have disappeared!!  I dont really mind about not getting regular periods.  My skin is perfect on tamoxifen, no monthly spots, bloating etc... a lot to be thankful for! 

I am 28 years old as well, and I don't have a diagnoses yet.  I had a fine needle aspiration done that my Doctor said came back positive for cancer markers, although I'm not sure what that means.  I have a lumpectomy and biopsy scheduled Monday morning, so I should have a more definitive diagnoses by the end of next week.  I explained it a lot better in my post on the forum.

As far as the children thing, I have never wanted children nor do I plan on having any.  I have two wonderful nieces and a fantastic nephew and that is perfect for me.  I can't remember ever having a desire to have children, it was just never my thing.

I am worried about losing my right breast, but again if the masectomy is required to get rid of the cancer then there will be no second thought.  I would rather have no boob and be alive than keep them and be dead.  My mother had breast cancer at age 22 and had a full masectomy with reconstructive surgery.  Unfortunately that was in the early 80s, and the implants they used then come to find out leaked, and she was part of a class action suit that is still on-going, and she had to have a second resorative surgery once they started leaking.  I'm sure that the materials and technology are much better in today's age but that is still a concern for me.

I am worried about my job, I am a police officer.  I guess it's the little things sometimes that make you laugh, but I actually caught myself worrying yesterday about my bullet proof vest.  Most people don't realize this but bullet proof vests have to be custom made for females, and they have to be tailored to the size and curve of your breasts.  There are essentially little pockets that your breasts fit into when wearing it, and because of the custom tailoring they are quite expensive, much more so than they would be for a male officer.  I kind of had to chuckle yesterday when I caught myself worrying that if they have to do surgery or take the breast I am going to have to get a completely different vest fitted and it's going to end up costing my department more money.  In the scheme of things it doesn't matter one bit in fighting the cancer, but it was something that only my brain would think about in a time like this

 I have thought that if I do have to have a masectomy and reconstructive surgery than I am going for a nice 36B.  I have always been heavy chested (38D) and if I have to go through that while fighting the cancer than I am going for smaller and perky.  I've never had perky boobs and if I get a choice that's what I'm going for!  I am trying to keep a sense of humor about all of this.

I am scared of dying young.  I feel as if my stable life is just starting out, and I don't feel as if I have accomplished everything I was sent here to do just yet.  I don't know exactly what that is, but I just feel as if I have more to do before I die. 

I am not so much scared of dying, as I know what happens then, I am more scared of living like this.

I'm not in your area but would love to keep in touch with you!

hi spunky cowgirl, i am 30, was diagnosed when I was 29. no kids here either, but i am sort of close to you, depending on what part of colorado you are in.

i'm in south central idaho-- hugs!!! it's doable, not fun, but doable... -Angel

Melanie_Ann: Seems like me and you are pretty much on the same schedule. I finished chemo in May,  had two periods (June, July), and haven't had one since. I was glad when I got it, then glad again when I went on a few vacations and didn't have to worry about it, and now I miss it again.

As for hot flashes, I thank GOD everyday that mine have subsided. I was getting them about every hour to the point where I would have to run to the bathroom to wipe off my face. They went away during my little break between chemo and Tamoxifen and just as warned, came back as soon as I started taking Tamoxifen. I can honestly say, that within the last month, the number and intensity has decreased soooooo much. I don't have any hot flashes until it dawns on me that I haven't had one...and then BAM, there it is! But seriously, it does get better on the Tamoxifen....hang in there!! 

Treadsoftly - Thanks for sharing about the hot flashes. I talked to my oncologist and he said it won't go away with Tamoxifen, but should get better once my periods come back, whenever that is. I still haven't slept through the night without waking up from hot flashes multiple times, so I am hoping my periods come back quickly!

Candice - Welcome to our group. I hope your sugery last week went smoothly and that you are home recovering now. I completely understand your concern about children. My husband and I started trying for our first 21 months ago....we got pregnant 5 months in, but miscarried at 10 weeks in the middle of last August. It turned out to be a molar pregnancy and they have to closely monitor hcg after that to make sure it falls to zero and that the tissue doesn't spread outside the uterus. I ended up needing chemo because it stopped falling for me....after 2 1/2 months of chemo, I was told to wait 6 months to try again. 2 months into that wait, I was diagnosed with cancer. It's been one blow after another and I still have to deal with Tamoxifen which continues the delay for children. It's heartbreaking and I find that no one really gets that except for here and others that I know who have experienced cancer at such a young age. I'm almost at the point of trying to give up on convincing others how hard it is because their only responses are "you're so young" and "you should just focus on your health right now" and "the doctors won't "let" you go off Tamoxifen early will they?". I want to smack them all, especially those who have children and will NEVER know what it feels like to be in my shoes.

Spunkycowgirl - Welcome to you as well. I ended up going for a mastectomy even though I was told a lumpectomy was an option. I just didn't want to have radiation and since they didn't suspect node involvement, I had a choice to avoid the radiation with that decision, so I did. I agree that the "living" after cancer is a difficult thing because your entire perspective on life changes. I can't even begin to describe how hard it is that others in my life just don't get that. I just finished chemo and to them, it's like I'm "DONE", so I should be thrilled. Well, I'm not. I still have to have more surgery and I still have Tamoxifen in my future which delays my life's plans. So it's hard to be entirely "happy" about being done with chemo. I am back to exercising (playing tennis and swimming - will start running again soon), but just because I physically look well, doesn't mean I am. And I see others who take for granted the ability to not feel guilty about cheating on their diets. If I have a cookie, I wonder if I'm doing myself an injustice. I never had a poor diet, but I now feel like I need to watch everything...sugar intake, alcohol consumption, etc. I see others going to tanning salons and smoking and I can't help but wonder when their cancer diagnosis will hit them. I see others with babies in their arms and think how lucky they are. When others seemingly have no worries in life, I envy that because I can never go back to being completely carefree again. I have had so much happen to me in the last 14 months that even though I choose to believe I've gotten all of the bad things out of the way, I will always wonder if/when the next big hit will come. At 28 years old, it's not fair to have to live that way, but it is the new way of life. Anyways, sorry to ramble about me....I hope you get through your surgery and please keep us posted on your biopsy results and treatment plans. We're in a rare group of women with breast cancer at such a young age and I know that support is crucial during this time.

 SKD - I'm glad your periods are back and hopefully they will be regular when you start trying again! Fingers crossed! I'm glad your doctor is being supportive as mine isn't. I have decided not to listen to him and to follow my own gut and my own heart. I'll aim for 2 years of Tamoxifen (I start in a couple of weeks) and will go off of it in October 2013 to try for a baby again as long as everything looks good with my follow-up. I just can't let cancer steal more time of my life. I have been told by some members in my family that I'm being selfish for wanting to stop the Tamoxifen before 5 years and that my children should come first in life. I feel like I AM putting my children first. I would go back on Tamoxifen after my first anyways, so I'll still squeeze in those 5 years. And the truth is, there is no 100% guarantee with Tamoxifen anyways and the benefit for someone who is weakly estrogen positive like myself (10%), is much smaller than for someone who is strongly estrogen positive. By bringing my children into the world, I AM putting them first. There are no guarantees in life. We are not guaranteed to be here to see our children graduate, get married, have their own kids, etc. Anyways, I cannot wait to see you have your first child. When that happens, I'll be halfway through my wait and it will give me hope that my time will come too.

Melanie Ann - I am hoping you get your period back soon. You can always see your OBGYN to discuss and to see if you can have an ultrasound so they can look at your ovaries and uterine lining. It might give you an idea of whether you are ovulating or not. My doctor did tell me some people on Tamoxifen won't get their periods but they could still be ovulating. I'm sure that would be helpful to know.

WarriorPrincess - I hope your periods come back regularly too. Like I said to Melanie Ann, it might be worth making a visit to your OBGYN to have them see what's going on. Also good luck with the job search. I am sure you will be extremely helpful to others having to go through cancer.

As for me - I had my LAST chemo treatment yesterday! I am officially done with that chapter and moving on to the next phase. I have my implant swapout surgery scheduled for November 4th, a week before my 29th birthday, so I get my new boob for my birthday.:) I am also starting Tamoxifen in a couple of weeks (will take a break for my surgery) and can officially start counting down to when I can have a baby. And my husband and I are desperately in need of a vacation, so we'll be looking for good deals coming up. Part of me wants to go now because I could use a break, but the other part of me wants to wait until I'm healed from surgery and have enough hair on my head so I can have some pictures taken. So we'll see what happens.

Kristien - congrats on finishing chemo!!  

Nil new with me really, Im trying to let my hair grow.  Its now 21 months since my last chemo and my hair is at the 'awkward' stage where it is no longer short and not properly long yet either - its so annoying!!  I hate my hairstyle!  Im going to the hairdresser tomorrow, so hopefully she can do something with it! 

Im going to see a genetic counsellor next month for BRCA testing, even though there is no family history.  I havnt reallly thought too much about what to do if the results are positive, I suppose thats what a genetic counsellor is there for!!

hi girls,

 hope you're all moving in a positive direction!  sorry i'm not on here anymore - it really brings me down reading other threads.  i'm just trying to have a "normal" life.

for all those starting tamoxifen - in my experience the SE have evened out.  i had no sex drive for about 2 weeks but it came back and its DEFINATELY still here!  flashes come and go so i just make sure i wear a tank top in case i have to take a layer off.  there was some weight gain so i'm forcing myself to run on an incline - i have not put on a pound since.

effexor apparenly really helps with the flashes.  

Treadsoftly - I guess it takes a while to get your hair to grow back to the length you had it. Mine was well past shoulder length before I was diagnosed. I cut it to just above shoulder length after I started chemo, so hopefully it can get back there quickly enough. I am not a fan of the "boy cut"....at least not on me! Others can pull it off much better!

Nannababy - Congrats on stopping the daily injections! It might not seem like much, but it's one step closer to not having to deal with this anymore! And I agree with others...say what you think!

Shiramg - Thanks for sharing your Tamoxifen experience! I just got my 3 month's supply in the mail yesterday and I will be starting it next week. Not really looking forward to it, but I know I need to just deal with it for the next 2 years until I stop it to try to have a baby.

Melanie_Ann - I hope your period comes soon and I agree some girls aren't so lucky to get mammograms done when they find something suspicious. My doctor was on top of things, but I also had to push with the breast center to get both the mammogram and ultrasound...they kept saying I was too young. Now what's the protocol for follow-up? Annual mammograms. So now I'm not too young? Ridiculous how that works. As for not finding someone to marry you, that made me sad to read. I think the fact that you've beaten cancer and proven your strength would be a turn on to many guys. You're a tough cookie and you can take care of yourself. Men DO appreciate that. And a man who doesn't, isn't worth the time.

AFM - Still dealing with this lousy neuropathy...makes typing painful. And of course I spend my life at work on the computer, so it's not going to be easy as I start to work more. Not planning on going back to full time until January though. I want to make sure that when I go back full time, I am 100% healthy and ready to go!

Nannybaby - That kind of shit makes me mad too. I had a CT scan in November last year for my molar pregnancy and the tumor was there and the radiologist missed it! Granted, they weren't looking at the breasts because molar tissue never spreads there, but the tumor was there! And I only found it myself 5 months later. It should have been a stage 1 and instead it's a stage 2! I know I should feel lucky I found it before it got any bigger and before it spread, but it pisses me off the way these doctors miss things with people our age. It makes me even more angry for you that your doctor appears to be hiding it. Grrrr!!!

jcoutee - I haven't had the Lupron injections, but since they supress estrogen, I would think some of the side effects you might notice may include hot flashes and vaginal dryness....similar to tamoxifen, and menopausal symptoms. I could be wrong, but that's my guess. I wouldn't want to get the hysterectomy either, but that's because I still want children.

Nannababy - Mine was delayed 5 months as well and I believe that's material. If you have evidence it was 2.5cm and then by diagnosis it was 8cm, then that changes you from a stage 2 to a stage 3 instantly. That's definitely material! I think you have a case and I hope you win! Mine went from stage 1 to 2. And what's up with the imaging techs not wanting to do mammograms? My doctor also put in an order for the mammogram and they refused, so I kept pushing and they ended up agreeing after I explained about my molar pregnancy history and not wanting to take chances. What if I hadn't had a molar pregnancy? What then? As for not wanting to stress about it, I totally get that too. That's the reason I asked my dad to look for a lawyer for me because then I only get looped in if they think I have a case. Can you have another family member (who supports you in this and one you trust) do some of the basic legwork for you so you don't have to focus too much on it?

AFM - I had my 2 week post chemo follow-up on Tuesday...what a long day! I started Tamoxifen yesterday (I had planned to start on Tuesday, but it was 1am before I realized and so I decided to take it Wednesday morning). So my countdown to taking a break has begun....2 days down, 728 to go. Maybe counting weeks or months will be less depressing? My surgery is 2 weeks from tomorrow. Looking forward to getting that one out of the way. My right arm has been hurting this week and the neuropathy continues, so I've been offline a bit more due to that....hope to be back here more regularly soon!